


Petals in a Storm

by KatcadeCascade (DreamWings231)



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Angst, Canon Compliant, Canonical Child Abuse, Developing Friendships, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Fluff, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Gen, M/M, Minor Mai/Ty Lee, Minor Sokka/Suki/Zuko, Multi, Nesting, Non-Traditional Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Omega Zuko, Pack Bonding, Pack Dynamics, Pack Family, Scents & Smells, Wordcount: 30.000-50.000, Zuko (Avatar)-centric, Zuko is an Awkward Turtleduck, Zuko's Scar (Avatar), because it's zuko, no beta we die like lu ten
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-28
Updated: 2020-08-07
Packaged: 2021-03-04 04:13:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 17
Words: 47,601
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24957409
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DreamWings231/pseuds/KatcadeCascade
Summary: Zuko doesn’t quite know how to build his own nest.He's taught it is in the omega nature of feeling safe, to be surrounded by comfort or happiness.Zuko hasn't felt safe or happy in years so he doesn't quite know what to do if he ever gets the desire to nest.(But when the day comes where he wants to nest, well, maybe Zuko will finally feel safe)
Relationships: The Gaang & Zuko (Avatar), Zuko (Avatar) & Everyone
Comments: 318
Kudos: 2330





	1. Farewell Lavenders

**Author's Note:**

> The first few chapters aren't dialog heavy until zuko joins the gaang. Other than that, I'm just vibing together this world to explore the dynamics. I haven't written for zuko before so I'm just slowly working through his head into my own style and stuff. That and I'm a sucker for ABO stuff.

Zuko doesn’t quite know how to build his own nest.

He learned the basics from his mother of course. Saw how she carefully picks and placed lumpy pillows in her bedchamber, a room located in the opposite wing of father’s.

 _“A nest is for safety,”_ she had said with a voice smoother than the silken bed lining. _“You put things that make you feel good and happy.”_ The mother scoops the young boy into her arms, _“That’s why I have you here.”_

Her scent is blossoming lavender, a rarity on the main islands, and it still lingers in Zuko’s dreams.

Now if only dreams could still live in the waking world.

The son searched so desperately for her the morning of her disappearance. Every trace of lavender had vanished as Ursa blinked out of Zuko’s sleepy sight.

The Fire Lady’s private bedchamber, a nest built far away from the Fire Lord for reasons servants didn’t question, was equally gone. It was just an empty room when Zuko ran there trying to wrangle the little hope he had as the world around him changed.

It is a world of Alphas, Betas, and Omegas, where a secondborn heir seized the throne and suddenly Zuko is titled as the Crown Prince.

Then later on in the months, he is declared Omega.

He doesn’t worry about the sudden responsibilities of being an omega heir. It’s no different than being a royal heir. There is the usual arrangement for potential mates and combat training but what plagues Zuko the most is the little knowledge that his mother has left him.

A nest is the accumulation of physical possessions that makes an omega feel good and happy and safe.

Zuko can’t find comfort in anything around him ever since his mother disappeared. Then there’s no chance he’ll receive anything from Azula. She’s too busy being the favored heir to worry over trivial omega habits that should be dealt with alone. As for his father, there is absolutely no point in even wondering.

If he can’t be deem deserving of praise or attention then Zuko has no worth to ask for help in instinctual needs.

So Zuko’s first nest is pathetically occupied with his lonely scent of pond water and sun soaked lilies. It’s enough for him, he thinks, wrapped up in fancy blankets. He clings to the very bed robes he wore where this mother held his shoulders for the last time.

He tries not to think about her. It hurts less if he ignores the weighty void in his chest. Zuko needs to be better, for his nation and for his father.

Being an omega hasn’t taken away any privileges. Plenty of his instructors are omegas and push him to his limits to train. It still doesn’t feel that great when Azula is still leagues ahead of him and that is still before she presents as an alpha, enriched with a scent of burning cherry wood.

It must be fair, for Zuko to bloom under their mother’s nature and for Azula to bloom under their father’s. Sometimes Azula sounds too much like father when she sneers at him.

It’s irritating to see this, to feel even more disconnected from his family. One vanished, others dead from war or (supposed) heart attack, an estranged uncle, and the prodigal child born to a man wreathed in flames.

Zuko blames his omega nature for craving other’s smiles, to be so clingy and eager for a love he must earn and earn it he must as he enters the Agni Kai arena.

This will prove his loyalty to his nation, to a division filled with young Alphas, Betas, and Omegas that were dedicated just like him. Surely his father will finally see the honor of the Omega Crown Prince.

…and then Zuko smelled a familiar scent of ash and burnt earth before he turned around.

Zuko could barely recount his own sweet lily scent as it is buried under the dry burning smell of charred skin and sharp medical ointments. How fitting for his father to take away the one thing that connects Zuko to mother, to grant him a new scent of honor.

He has to bare it, he’s _scarred_ with it. Zuko must find and capture the Avatar to return home and regain his honor.

(Only then he’ll remember what pond lilies and lavenders smell like)

This quest for a mythical threat takes up all of Zuko’s priorities. He argues with Uncle about rest and luxuries he doesn’t have time to think he deserves.

Besides, no way would Zuko ever nest in the iron hull of ship surrounded by sea.

It’s too unfamiliar no matter how many years of training and sailor life Zuko endures. To nest is to feel safe and Zuko can’t remember the last time he felt safe, no less does he ever feel real hope.

That is until the Avatar wakes up to two Southern Water Tribe Alphas.

It almost feels thrilling to finally have this moment, to finally seize after something physical and in his sights. Of course there is the maddening annoyance of the Avatar’s continued escapades.

Yeah, because of all the times Zuko imagined of capturing the Avatar, he never pictured it to be so infuriating.

The Avatar, a mere child of air and bright warm colors, is determined to be the biggest thorn in Zuko’s side.

What bugs Zuko the most is that the Avatar really is scentless. It’s a common knowledge that as devotedly spirit bound, the Avatar hails no dynamic. Zuko knows this and yet was much unprepared to scent nothing from the boy when the Blue Spirit rescues him.

It’s just weird to describe something as scentless in the nature of dynamics. Sure there are the usual smells of clothing (and for some reason frogs?) among the usual stuff travelers without bathing rituals end up smelling like.

More than that, this boy, Aang, asks Zuko if they could’ve been friends.

Omegas might be the ones who nest but they’re not the only ones who seek comfort.

In a makeshift bed of fallen leaves, Zuko almost feels at peace.

He detests that feeling, his body ushered into a prepared nest of someone who should hate him. This must be a trap, it has to be because there is no way should Zuko ever feel his instincts flare up to fix this nest and lay right back down.

Zuko’s not tired, he won’t nest, he refuses to be his enemy’s friend, and so he punches out a fierce line of fire.

Once back at the ship, avoiding Uncle’s ever-knowing eyes, Zuko shifts around in his flat bed. There is absolute no reminisce of his old bedchambers, no softness for a growing omega despite Uncle discreetly buying him fluffy blankets.

It’s odd. Uncle’s scent is of a flower Zuko doesn’t have a name for. Then again, everything about Uncle is odd and it is too similar to the Avatar’s scentless presence. Both elude the age and wisdom that can only be carved by spirits and whatnot.

Zuko is almost envious of that sagely intellect. If he had that then maybe he could understand the twisted knots in his gut and why after three years he still can’t scent his own omega scent.

It’s faint, like it too has been scarred.

He doesn’t know that that means. The medic on board had only theorizes it’s because of his situation.

And so this becomes another reason to take the Avatar to the Fire Nation. If Zuko comes home, not only will he regain his honor but he’ll feel like the omega his mother would want him to be.

But at the same time, Zuko has no idea what feeling like an omega is like either.

Like all Fire Nation children, he’s taught the traditional lectures and present day studies of dynamics. It’s the usual spiel about how the three dynamics are a baseline of strength and shelter yet all can serve their Fire Lord. Then there are the whole ruts for Alphas, nulls for Betas, and heats for Omegas.

A heat is literally what it is, an omega overheating in body temperature in a fever like state. This specially occurs when the omega feels safe.

So Zuko is all clear for that. He doesn’t feel safe when his ship explodes, when he’s freezing in the North Pole, or when he watches Zhao’s hubris take shape of the Ocean Spirit.

Zuko feels tired and for once when Uncle tells him to rest, he listens.

This little raft in the freezing ocean is nowhere near an ideal nest but it’ll do.

Uncle’s here and so Zuko can finally close his eyes, enwrapped with the smell of white lotuses.


	2. Burning Without Fire

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm getting better at giving zuko dialog

The Avatar did a monologue about friendship when Zuko was unconscious and in return Zuko did his own about how much Aang and Azula are alike.

Both are prodigious benders with a grand destiny before them, it’s clear as day whenever the boy goes into the Avatar State or when Azula easily tells him that father wants him home.

Of all the lies slithered from her mouth, this one is glorious honey Zuko can’t resist.

Home, it’s been so long and Zuko can finally admit to himself that he wants to nest in the foundation of all of his memories of Mom.

He doesn’t care if her scent is gone or that his own is still weak, Zuko is going home.

It’s funny how naïve he is.

That’s a joke Azula will appreciate.

Traveling further into the Earth Kingdom is the opposite of voyaging in the sea. Instead of endless horizon, a sliver of white separating the ocean and the sky, the vast greenery of the land is very in his face. Zuko can’t count how many times branches or bugs land on his face.

An omega prince such as he would have never imagined this is where he ends up. He is branded as a son with no honor only to be later titled as a traitor to a nation, what a life.

He’s so far from home, miles away from a mother who might not even be alive. He has no supplies or grantee for a peaceful night. What he does have is Uncle.

Iroh, the Dragon of the West, is currently hunched over a red flower that may be some tea ingredient or deadly poison. In the midst of telling Uncle how ridiculous of an idea it would be to eat the weed, a sudden bout of dizziness spells over Zuko’s head.

It is a rarity for Zuko to abruptly stop being angry so Uncle is at his side instantly, worried and ignoring their empty stomachs as he eases a hand on Zuko’s elbow. Usually he snaps (flinches) away from the touch of someone remotely parental. Uncle had learned to always be on Zuko’s right side before broadcasting his actions.

But right now, Uncle is all Zuko has and he feels like he’s slowly melting.

The new stomach pains of hunger are fueling the slow boiling under his skin. Zuko shakily holds onto Uncle’s arm, leading him into their pathetic camp of twigs and rocks where he sits against a tree. Despite the shade, Zuko feels the heat rising and sapping away his energy and air.

“Uncle?” He says and it’s taking more effort to speak than he thought. His vision is still dizzy but that has never been new due to his scarred eye.

A hand cups his forehead and he feels a rush of heat swell up there, it’s hot as the leftover heat of firebending.

“Your heat is beginning, nephew,” is carefully spoken, like Uncle’s assuring him that the sun will set.

It’s all a draining feeling, where the body demands rest and the instinct demands to be listened to. But the latter part doesn’t make sense, omegas only go into heat when they feel safe, hence the habit of nesting.

Consistent nest building is a sure sign of a heat but Zuko hasn’t made a nest since before getting his scar. Another sign would be amplified scent but that’s no longer an option for Zuko and his charred flesh dampening whatever remnants of lilies and ponds.

Through sheer rage alone, a specialty of his, Zuko hisses out, “Why in the world am I going into heat in the middle of _nowhere!?_ ”

In other words, how does anything about his new life as a fugitive qualify as safe?

“I don’t know, Zuko,” Uncle says but there’s something in his eyes Zuko can barely read, “But I am here with you.”

And that’s true. For three years Uncle has been with him. Iroh stayed with Zuko in the worst moments of his life. He’s the last thing of his home.

So in the middle of nowhere, on the run by his own sister, an enemy prince of a foreign land, Zuko slowly succumbs to a fever heat next to the one person who chose to stay with him.

“It’s not as bad as I feared,” Uncle said as he presses the back of his hand to Zuko’s neck, “I believe it’s still not good. Without food there isn’t much fuel for your heat to burn through.”

“What, starving is a good thing?”

“No more like stalling,” Uncle explained and Zuko glares at him when the old man glances at the foretold poisonous flower.

“I’m not eating that flower,” he mumbles with as much strength as he can muster.

From the way the heat is coiling around inside of him, Zuko sees the problem. Eventually the heat will eat into his inner flame rather than the starving energy the omega could ever sustain. He thought he could at least survive a week more in the wild through sheer determination but now in a draining eternal heatwave, not so much.

“We need to get you to a healer,” Uncle insists but from increased worry lines on his old skin, he doesn’t have the heart to move Zuko any time soon.

“The Earth Kingdom will mark us dead,” Zuko huffed, his breath beginning to labor.

Continuing that thought, Uncle said, “But the Fire Nation will hand us over to Azula.”

They make eye contact and nod.

“Earth Kingdom it is.”

An early scouting gave them the option of a small village a few miles out but given Zuko’s heat, Uncle demands for him to rest in the shade until sundown. Until then, Zuko has to bare though his body imitating burning candle wax.

When he first presented Zuko was immediately lectured about the Omega nature and what to expect. For a royal firebender, Zuko is supposedly acting as a symbolic fire pit for Agni’s beacon of good home and cherished familial and pack bonds.

Yeah, feeling sweltering heat hum in numb bones was not warned to him.

Then again he is currently an exiled, starving omega with no home to return to. So this must be befitting to a failure such as him.

Curled up in the shade of a forest so unlike the palace gardens, Zuko tries not to wince at the stomach pains or the homesickness that always clung to him like the endless sweat.

At some point, Uncle had fetched water using a big leaf, a nomadic image compared to the initial crown prince status.

It’s strange to recall that Zuko has taken Uncle’s title of Omega Crown Prince.

Maybe it’s because no one wants to discuss the arrangements of his grandfather’s will but Zuko never saw Uncle Iroh’s reaction to this. He wasn’t even there in time for the funeral and the ceremony. Instead he came back home, already informed, and took Zuko under his wing about how to handle the spotlight of being an omega heir.

Back then, Uncle treated him to proverbs and tea about the omega’s duty to provide strength and willpower.

Now in the present day, well there’s no tea but Uncle will always have an endless supply of proverbs.

As Zuko tries not to drown himself on drinking the water, Uncle says in that patient teaching tone, “Before, everyone believed the heat was an omega’s weakest state but in actuality, it is their wisest state. The omega is not in the inferno but _is_ the inferno.”

If Zuko wasn’t too busy gulping down water and feeling absolutely like hot coal, he would have snapped in frustration.

In truth, the inferno part makes sense but honestly Zuko is not in the right mind to deny or admit that out loud. Still though, knowing Uncle is here tampers down the intensity of the heat.

Zuko knows he’s without any possessions or any soft thing he’d prefer in a nest but having Uncle by his side is enough for him.

Just as father deemed it, Zuko is lucky. They have enough pity to gain treatment and shelter once Zuko is less feverish to walk. This homebrewed medic named Song had met them at the doorstep and quickly prepared a heat kit for ‘Li’ while ‘Mushi’ guided him to a bed cot.

All things considered, his first heat spent in a small nameless Earth Kingdom village where normally he would be killed off is decent. Also due to Song’s help it’s a short one, supposedly a sample of what future heats are like if his body and mind were prepared for it.

His head was still in a dizzy state when Uncle eagerly agreed to Song’s dinner invite. Zuko blames his pride for hating how much he liked eating adequate pity food after starving and overheating.

Still, this shouldn’t be his life.

He should’ve capture the Avatar by now and returned home. He should’ve been spending a healthy heat in the palace where he could rummage through storage for anything of Mom’s. He should be Zuko the Omega Crown Prince of the Fire Nation.

But currently he’s Li, an unlucky traveler with a giant scar and a heat that left him drained.

Song tells him that she understands, reveals her burned leg and how her own heats consume majority of her medicine supplies.

She hands him a ration bar of her own creation, something that should ease and sway an upcoming heat away. In return Zuko steals her ostrich-horse.

The remains of the heat inside him nip at his gut, where his anger traps every other emotion.

It’s a different kind of heat burning inside of him as Zuko spends more days in this dirt. He sees a mocking swordsman that should not wield the dao blades, he’s frustrated by Uncle’s disapproving attitude, and he meets a little boy named Lee who hates him.

So this is the type of omega that Zuko has become. An Omega that attempts to protect others and gets sneered for it, a former Crown Prince that stood against a plan that used children as bait and to this day he has no idea if his efforts were in vain or not.

In the end he knows one thing for certain. Zuko is a firebender and he wants to fight Azula.

He knows how strong and clever she can be. How in every aspect of him being a weak scented omega, she is a perfect alpha of skill and power. Azula can always pin down his weaknesses. She always did that when they were kids.

Zuko sees his sister smile right before she strikes down Uncle Iroh.

Zuko hears the pity in the waterbender, akin to Song’s assumptions of him.

Zuko can barely scent Uncle’s flowery calmness underneath burnt flesh. It’s almost as weak as his scent of crumbled lilies. 

He doesn’t want Uncle to be a tarnished omega like him. Nor does he want anyone to see him cry.

Maybe this is what Uncle felt when Zuko was recovering from his eye scar. The helplessness and the worrying and the hope, this is very omega of him. Everything in the next few days is clumsy and rushed as Zuko bandages Uncle and makes tea from scratch. Zuko likes to think it’s a good first try.

What isn’t a good first try is generating lightning.

Zuko can feel the white hot heat stirring wildly in his gut. It’s hotter than his inner fire but not as intense as an omega heat. It’s weird how he can tell the difference but this is innate knowledge of every firebender.

Fire comes from the breath. It can quite literally burn a person from the inside out as it draws out power in the lungs. As for lightning, an advance technique saved for the royal family and as explained by Uncle, has a burn ten times as powerful as it rushes throughout the body when properly guided.

But so far all of Zuko’s attempts are not proper at all. It’s like he’s a child again, messing up on katas that Azula nails down perfectly.

“You are the petals in the storm,” is Uncle’s latest proverb, “You cannot fight against it but move with it.”

Zuko goes through the motions countless of times, halfheartedly understanding the metaphor.

Omegas are infernos but to wield lightning he must be a helpless petal with inner peace.

Yeah, because that makes sense.

Look it’s been a rough few weeks, years if he’s being self-aware, and right now he just want to do one thing successful. He’s done nearly blowing his face, his only good eye and ear, and wants to redirect lightning because this he can do.

Zuko was born to handle pain, to endure it, and to not give up without a fight.

(Because the last time he gave up without a fight, he learned how much he really _couldn’t_ handle pain or endure it.)

Years ago, incredible pain flared up when tears fell out of his left eye, newly scarred.

Today on a mountain peak, yelling at the storm, Zuko can barely feel the tears as rain downpours.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!


	3. Children of Clay

“You know, as soon as I saw your scar, I knew exactly who you were,” a ragged refugee stated as they stood on a rocking boat heading to the capital of stonewalls, “You’re an outcast like me.”

Now Zuko’s not a people person, that’s his sister. But given that this guy, Jet, saw Zuko and in their first conversation invited him to do a mini revolt against authority, Zuko believes Jet is far too trusting and sympatric.

Then again, Li is also a ragged refugee with a big burn scar on displayed.

It’s with Song and kid Lee all over again, the assumptions and the pity and how Zuko’s actions will always hurt them. He has Uncle this time around with the desire for a quiet life in Ba Sing Se but that’s not a guarantee that Zuko won’t be the source of trouble.

Jet appears to love trouble.

Or liberation is his definition.

Still though, as much as Zuko wants to treat this like he’ll never see Jet again, they share the same destination.

Zuko doesn’t want to get too close to Jet. Their little heist was enough team building for Zuko’s fill. As satisfying as it was to be a part of a team, to not be a failure, Zuko should know better when to stop.

Last time he cooperated with a group it was to attack his own sister right after she shot down their uncle. Zuko can’t imagine what would happen if he consciously and intentionally joined a team.

A team, not a pack, those are out of Zuko’s range of comfort.

“Also I know what you’re dealing with,” Jet’s recruitment takes a turn into empathy, not that Zuko could understand. “Your scent, your real scent not the,” he waves at Zuko’s face, “you’re losing it.”

“What?” Zuko breathes sharply. His scar suddenly itches.

Jet turns to him, gone was the charismatic leader and instead was stern and serious omega. “Smoke is a hard smell to forget. It just clings to everything,” his face pinches in rage, “it never leaves you.”

Swallowing a thick gulp, Zuko says, “It just takes over you.”

Zuko barely remembers the early days of bedrest in the Wani’s cramp infirmary. The smells of burn cream barely rivaled the permanent odor of charred, burnt flesh. His original scent of pond water and lilies under a sun couldn’t peak or emit at all.

Throughout the years it’s still there but weak, hidden under the new scent that was a byproduct of father’s hand.

But still…

“I’m not losing it,” Zuko refutes.

“Scents can change Li,” Jet says nonchalantly, his eyes tracing back to the walls at the horizon, “Especially when you’re far from home.”

That bites into Zuko’s core. He didn’t know that, he feared if that was true because he didn’t want to lose his scent to something so painful.

Scents were a part of a person’s identity, more than that it was strings that could be connected to others, specifically pack members.

But Zuko isn’t part of a pack, despite his bond with Uncle Iroh, and as for his identity…

“You don’t smell of ash,” Zuko pointed out, mostly to get out of his head.

“No I don’t,” the freedom fighter said, “but I used to.” He waits for any more interruptions but honestly Zuko’s a bit stunned at the revelation, not that he’ll show it. So Zuko lets Jet go on without any prompt. “It was years ago, when I was a kid and…”

They both know how that story goes.

“…and eventually I found my friends, my Freedom Fighters.” Jet wrapped up proudly with a sad gaze, “They’re my pack.”

Something tells Zuko that Jet’s pack used to be more than just the archer and the scout. Jet smells of an autumn forest, maybe even those red leaved ones Zuko once heard fairytales of. Yet right now, all Zuko sees is an omega unable to nest because part of his pack is gone.

Zuko doesn’t believe he would be a good substitution in Jet’s pack nor does he believe Jet would miraculously cure his weak scent.

He knows this because during his heat, his scent for once wasn’t snuffed out by the smell of dishonor. The omega didn’t realize it at the time due to the starvation combined with heat fever but Zuko knew the scent of lilies.

What any of that means, Zuko still doesn’t know. Uncle didn’t mention anything about it so maybe he didn’t scent anything different. What did matter was that Zuko, despite entering a new city of an enemy kingdom, has not lost a vital piece of himself.

So he trusts his instincts and says no to Jet’s offer. That proves to be common sense when days later Jet crashes in during Zuko’s shift labeling him and Uncle as firebenders.

It’s been uneventful for the past few days and Zuko dislikes his tea serving job so to say Zuko is eager to fight is an understatement.

Hey, if anyone in his position had a reason to fight a customer, they would also do what Zuko did.

After Jet gets arrested, everything is back to being uneventful.

The Lower Ring is crowed with people and their problems and their scents. Zuko’s lucky to not broadcast his displeasure to be oh so annoying at least. His face is enough to dissuade people from talking to him and he’ll take joy in that. He just doesn’t take joy in the whispers.

Li the tea server isn’t the only scared refugee in town but since it was his left eye it’s apparently a unique case.

Because that means it was up close, happened at a young age, or maybe there are more scars under those long sleeves, oh that poor omega might have trouble getting married.

It’s new.

This kind of pity or sympathy, it’s so soft and genuine.

His old ship crew avoided getting caught talking about it at all cost but Zuko heard the basis of it. The grotesque awe, the morbid curiosity because he’s the Crown Prince trained by master firebenders, how did this happen?

Despite their many questions, none dared ask. Not that Zuko would ever answer, too prideful and shameful in one body.

Much like how Zuko has no idea what ever happened to that young division treated as bait, he doesn’t know how the rest of the Fire Nation reacted to that Agni Kai. The best he could gage is from Zhao and there was no kind platitude from him.

Maybe the Fire Nation shares the late commander’s opinion. Zuko won’t know if he never gets home.

All he does know is that here in the capital Earth Kingdom, these common folk see his scar as a mark of war.

Well none of them ever _say_ that word. They talk around it and just continue their musing.

Zuko doesn’t really get it, why they avoid talking about the war and simply dwell on his marriage status.

And then he meets Jin, a girl who scents of peaches.

Immediately Uncle agrees to the date for him. 

It goes as well as anyone could imagine.

But in a bout of good fortune, no one is around so Zuko picks up his act and takes a risk with the lanterns.

Firebending feels so relieving, like he’s reclaiming a part of himself. Then when Jin makes the obvious social cues of wanting a kiss, this feels like Zuko is getting to experience something he couldn’t get in his old life, to be a kid.

It’s innocent, both the kiss and the desire to be a kid again.

Yet Zuko can’t help but back away and say, “It’s complicated.”

He’s about to turn around when he hears Jin ask, “Is it because I’m a beta?”

“What?”

For the short amount of time that he knows her, Jin is easily seen as a confident, charming, and optimistic girl. So seeing her frown, not in disappointment like earlier, but in shame or insecurity, it just feels wrong.

“It was obvious that you’re not from around here,” she begins and for a brief second her eyes dart to a lantern and Zuko’s heart freezes, but she meets his eyes and says, “I mean, omegas don’t really date betas.”

“I don’t follow,” he admits, not at all understanding this supposed cultural difference.

Jin shakes her head in a manner of amusement but her eyes still carry sadness, “In the Earth Kingdom, they stick with traditional courting dynamics. Alphas with Omegas, and Betas with Betas.” She shrugs, “I thought you wouldn’t believe in that stuff but.”

She begins to turn away but Zuko already caught the way she bit her lip in frustration.

“It’s not that, I swear,” he insists and he doesn’t know why he cares about this. It would be convenient to go along with his excuse but instead he repeats weakly, “It’s just… complicated. Like, for me. It has nothing to do with you.”

“Sure,” Jin replies flatly, unconvinced, and it’s the same exact tone he often uses against Uncle.

Spirits, this is frustrating, how does Uncle deal with this when Zuko’s like this?

But Uncle’s not here so it’s up to Zuko and as much as he wants to just run away and pretend this was all a nice night, he can’t just leave Jin feeling so sad.

(He already left Song, Lee, and Jet feeling much worst)

Zuko takes Jin’s hand and he makes sure their eyes meet, “Jin, thank you for tonight, truly. I’m…” An apology is on the tip of his tongue but he knows it’ll just be out of pity. He can’t do that to her. “I’m just not prepared to feel like this.”

“Like what exactly?” She asks gently, squeezing their hands.

“Nice?” He immediately says, more so thinking out loud, “Happy or um.”

“Safe?” Jin prompts, a hint of a grin spilling on her face, “Wow, did I make you want to nest all of a sudden?”

“No!” He yelled, cheeks heated up as the girl laughs. “No, definitely not. I don’t want to nest.”

That catches Jin off, confused, “Wait but why? You’re in Ba Sing Se, it’s the safest place in the world…” She trails off.

Her eyes no longer meet his but sink a little lower.

Zuko has three years of experience to know when people are looking at the scar.

“It must be hard,” she pondered, “for you to relearn what safe feels like.”

“It is,” he admits and it feels groundbreaking to hear words that perfectly describe him. To thank her, Zuko brings up their held hands, “But you reminded me what it feels like.”

That gets Jin to smile again, this time with pride. Maybe for her or for him, Zuko doesn’t quite know.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just think Jin was cool, mkay? 
> 
> Anyway, next chapter is called Family is Crossroads, so y'all can guess what's going to happen.
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	4. Family is Crossroads

_Have you seen my flying sky bison?_

It is written in fine ink, brushed professionally with a detailed image of a mythical beast not many people have seen in person.

At the corner of the flyer is a box containing the head shot of the worried owner, Avatar Aang.

Zuko has thought it before and will think it again, this kid is so irritating.

Life in Ba Sing Se could be described as dormant and quaint. At least for Uncle, he suddenly got the offer of a teashop in the Upper Ring, so there’s that.

But for Zuko, none of it feels right.

Everything is new and unfamiliar or just awkward when people try to talk to him. Really, it just feels like the first time stepping aboard the Wani. There’s nothing to do but feel utterly contained. At least back then he was the prince who can train whenever he wants. Here there are so many eyes and Zuko has to be Li, a disgruntled nephew who is slowly going mad with boredom.

And then this lost pet flyer flutters to his face.

Zuko’s heart races with a familiar beat, an eager beast presented with a hunt.

Now this? This is familiar to his instincts.

Getting back into this mode, this drive to seek out an end, it’s all too smooth of a transition. Slipping on the mask of the Blue Spirit feels like a breath of fresh air.

So in the midst of feeling like this, he did not expect Uncle Iroh to catch him in the bison’s prison chamber.

It’s rare when Uncle raises his voice and it bounces off the stone walls to sound even louder. Even though he’s standing behind Zuko, too frustrated to even face him, the words are digging into his skin.

_“It’s time for you to look inward and start asking yourself the big question. Who are you and what do you want!?”_

He is Zuko, son of Ursa, but would his mother ever recognize him underneath this scar and this weak scent?

He is Zuko, prince of the Fire Nation, but all of his efforts to earn that title have been futile.

He is Zuko and yes, sometimes he doesn’t plan things through and nearly dies trying but that is what he always does.

Fighting and nearing death and burning.

Zuko is an omega and omegas are always burning.

It’s there when he frees the bison, it’s rising up his throat when he leaves the Blue Spirit mask behind, it’s coursing through his skin when he and Uncle reach their tiny apartment and he says that he doesn’t feel so good.

What comes next isn’t a heat.

Heat fevers and regular fevers feel like how it is, overbearing and hot.

This though, where Zuko is near delirious and dreaming of arguing dragons and arrow tattoos, this is highly strange. The burning feeling is always there, a weighty presence in his head to fluctuate between comforting warmth to itchy hot bites.

It’s like he’s swimming in an ocean of flames, all too consuming and demanding to his muscles. An exhaustion toiling on his body only to leave him in head games he’s forced to play. There is no clue if he’s winning or losing.

Zuko just wants it to be over. He can’t understand what any of this means.

So when he does wake up, he’s surprised to not find his skin steaming. Because despite his now clear head, Zuko thinks he’s still burning. As a firebender taught by Iroh, Zuko knows it’s better to slowly simmer the heat rather than quickly blowing it out.

In these early hours of Agni’s morning, Zuko lazily gathers the small piles of blankets they bought and tries to build a nest.

Uncle catches him tangled in between two sheets, a bit helpless since his body lacks strength. The older omega gives out a hearty laugh and sets a tea set down to help his recovering nephew.

It is all too nostalgic to when Zuko would climb into his mother’s nest. While he misses the lavenders, the scent of lotuses is a comfort Zuko hasn’t realized he is well accustomed to. Having Uncle around was just an unwanted necessity in the beginning.

Uncle was just a teacher, an experienced general, and guidance to a young Zuko newly burnt.

Yet Zuko knew in those three years, Uncle was something else too. Iroh was always his family, left their homeland to be with Zuko and saw him as a son.

That always strikes Zuko with guilt.

In fuzzy memories, Lu Ten was a caring person, a leader and a soldier. He’s the one who encouraged Zuko to take up the blades. Zuko doesn’t want to hurt him by taking his place in Uncle’s life.

It’s likely foolish to dare suggest that Uncle views Zuko as a replacement. Yet it’s still hard for Zuko to wrap the concept that Uncle cares for him with the same genuine feeling for his own son.

(Because if that’s how a father loves a son, what does that mean for Ozai?)

Lu Ten was only a small part of Zuko’s life but if Zuko thought hard about it, he had more good memories with Lu Ten than he had with Azula.

His sister was always a complexity in his life.

Everyone could spend hours on how marvelous she is while Zuko can only use that time in silence, frustrated and confused on how the little girl playfully chasing him in the garden became so ruthless and calculative.

Contrary to other’s beliefs, it didn’t start when Azula presented as an alpha.

She was practically flawless in skills, burned hotter and brighter, but above all Azula just knew how to string people into her stage.

Zuko may love plays, its thrill and passion, but Azula loves its accordance and obedience.

After she presented, her preference for control and power grew. More than that, in the months before Zuko’s fated Agni kai, Azula enjoyed splicing down Zuko’s flaws. It’s her favorite pastime so maybe she did missed Zuko in her own little way.

He should be used to how Azula just pops right into his life ready to mess with him.

Azula took control of the Dai Li and is now staging the perfect moment to take down the Avatar. This means it is entirely her fault for Zuko’s current predicament.

Being imprisoned with the waterbender is as unpleasant as it sounds like. It’s annoyingly similar with dealing with angry alphas that get one look at him and scowl.

Yet her reasons hit too close to home. A mother torn out of the picture, a father stuck in the war, an older brother determined to have everyone survive.

She sounds like Azula, just a little bit.

Once again is Zuko stunned into silent frustration and confusion over how a little girl grew up with so much bottled anger.

But Katara isn’t his sister, she is not his family.

Azula is.

And she’s telling him that it’s his choice and freedom to choose her or Uncle Iroh.

What Uncle is projecting onto him is a need for balance at the cost of truly abandoning their home. It’s more than just wishing for a life in Ba Sing Se, Uncle seeks out a future where Zuko allies with the Avatar.

Yes Zuko did fight alongside him as the Blue Spirit to define Zhao and again with his friends out of retaliation for Azula nearly killing Uncle, but for Zuko to decide his destiny with no revenge or temporary in mind is…

Burning.

Zuko is burning again.

This may be the crossroads of destiny but Zuko is ablaze and each step is excruciating painful. He just had to pick a path and hope he doesn’t burn into ash before the reaching the end. 

It’s like Uncle had said, Zuko is an inferno and he’ll just burn and burn and take the Avatar down with him.

This fire is familiar and satisfying because finally Zuko will reach the end of his original journey.

Zuko is going home…

…so why does seeing the Avatar fall and Uncle arrested feel like Zuko’s fire is snuffed out?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prepare for this story to use the words 'burn' and 'inferno' a lot. 
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	5. Home or Nest

For once in Zuko’s life, he feels a chill enter his bones as he and Azula travel home. He’s thankful that the burning is gone but adjusting to this new heatless ache is unfamiliar.

The same could be said to adjusting to the Fire Nation, claiming his title as Omega Crown Prince.

It’s a heroic welcome back and his father praising him for doing what he was tasked for.

Despite the royal clothing and washing away the sea salt and dirt in his core, Zuko doesn’t feel like loyal son he promised to be on that day he bowed to his father, begging for mercy.

He’s still so confused and paranoid. Zuko no longer feels like he’s burning but instead suffocating. If he’s not burning then this should mean that taking down the Avatar was the correct path. Yet this airless pressure torments him.

Zuko tells his incarcerated uncle his thoughts, that this new ache is due to his gut instinct that the Avatar is still alive.

He is met with silence.

That itself is a new kind of torment.

Zuko relied too much on Uncle’s wisdom. Yet look at where they ended, one in prison and the other regaled as a prince. He has to keep reminding himself that he made the right choice. So if visiting Uncle’s cell doesn’t quite cement the consequences, no one needs to know.

But of course Azula finds out about that, warning him that he should stop seeking attention of a traitorous omega when a loyal one is already in his arms.

On that part, Zuko has to admit that Azula is right. He has Mai. She’s honestly the only thing that hasn’t changed so that is a blessing in his returned life.

Like him, Mai was raised under the whole principals of being a rich omega, to find friends in high places. Unlike him, Mai’s parents actually sent her to academies and playdates with the upper class while Zuko’s social circle was isolated.

It’s so odd when analyzing his and Azula’s childhood. The attitude of their tutors and parents, the praises verses the scolding, the opportunity for friends, and probably much more that will give Zuko a headache.

He avoids these thoughts. It sparks up that burning feeling. So he focuses on Mai and her ignorance to the storms in his head.

That is until he realizes that she was never ignorant, just patient because the day after Azula interrupted their picnic, Mai takes him to her bed chambers where an overflow of pillows and blankets weigh the bed.

“Um, is this your nest?” He asks both embarrassed and surprised. Zuko didn’t peg Mai to ever love fluff.

“No,” she said simply and pushes him forward, “It’s for you.”

“For me?” Now he’s even more embarrassed because apparently Mai pegs Zuko as the type to love fluff.

(She’s correct but hey, fifty pillows seems like over the top)

“You haven’t actually relaxed since you got here,” Mai said in a too familiar tone of when Jin confronted him. “You’re safe Zuko, you’re home.”

A choked feeling is lodged in his throat.

For days he’s been trying to register the facts. Zuko is back in the Fire Nation. He is the hailed Omega Crown Prince. Not for one second has Zuko’s pond lily scent ever surfaced over the smell of smoking flesh. Daily visits to Uncle or the turtle-duck pond hasn’t helped either.

So there was one last idea he hasn’t tried yet, something he didn’t want to think about.

Thanks to Mai that idea is now in his face and looking very tempting and comfy.

“I can’t accept this,” Zuko says with a small quake in his voice.

Under traditionally circumstances, an omega offers their nest to a suitable courting mate. It’s always for the sake of intimacy or a beginning step towards an actual mating then later wedding ceremony.

But this is not the case, or at least not Mai’s intentions. Both knew they didn’t want to think about mating or wedding any time soon. No, what Mai has offered before him is Zuko’s chance to nuzzle into his omega nature and be at peace for just a second.

It just doesn’t feel right. At this moment he doesn’t feel burning or suffocating, he just feels undeserving of this.

“Zuko, you won’t admit it but you’re super stressed,” Mai gives him a worried and frustrated look. “I just thought you should get away from it all.” From his confused face Mai is left with blankly scowling at him, “Your family, I’m talking about your family. I know the difference in your scent whenever Azula is nearby.”

“Oh,” he oohed because how else should he respond to that.

“Yes ‘oh’,” she repeats with dully. Mai tugs at his hand to walk closer to the bed, “And as you can see, she is not here and your dad will not sudden ask for your presence so nothing is stopping you from nesting, Zuko.”

He wants to deny and say that there is something preventing him from just diving into the duvet and the cotton. Zuko just doesn’t know what that something is.

What he does know is a reason for his hesitance is that… well…

“I don’t really know how to nest.”

Mai doesn’t blink at that, “It’s just lying in a bunch of blankets.” She does turn her head to the side when she includes, “Sometimes you also just cuddle with your pack.”

Before Zuko could think better, he blurts, “You cuddle?”

He gets a pillow to the face as punishment.

“If you really don’t want to nest, fine,” Mai narrows her eyes at him and steps real close to jab a nail at his chest, “But you can’t convince me that you’ll be fine without it.”

Speechless, Zuko has no real argument against her. All he has are excuses that are slowly succumbing to this need to relax and smooth out the roughness in him. Maybe he’s scared that nesting won’t help him at all.

With that in mind, Zuko sits down on the bed and says, “The last two times I nested, I had Uncle with me. Even when he was there, I still felt like I was burning.”

The lumpy duvet dips as Mai sits beside him. “Did you feel unsafe or something?”

Considering at those times he was a starving fugitive and later a firebending refugee, it was definitely not safe. But that wasn’t the point. In both nests, Zuko felt so homesick.

He doesn’t get it. At the palace he refused to even think about nesting. Here in Mai’s house, knowingly out of sight of his sister and his father and his uncle, Zuko feels guilty for starting to relax.

“I’m not used to nesting,” he tells instead. Recalling Jin’s words, he repeats, “It’s hard to relearn what I’m supposed to feel like.”

“Want me to help?” Mai asked and suddenly his mind refocuses on her tidbit of ‘cuddling with pack’.

Did Mai nest with someone before reuniting with Zuko?

She scents of dahlias with a new addition of polishing oil, likely from her care for knives. Other than that, he can’t read any pack mates on her. To be fair, he can’t imagine a reason for Mai to even consider being a part of a pack.

Typically people form packs due to the war. They fought side by side, witnessed each other in intense life or death situation, and they become something closer than family. A pack is full of meaningful bonds.

He has no clue of what happened to Mai these past few years. She would wave him off by saying life was boring until Azula recruited her for Avatar hunting. Since then she has been Azula and Ty Lee, two alphas with contrasting scents. One of cherry wood used in a fire pit and the other as freshly pressed vanilla.

They are Mai’s friends but they aren’t omega like he is.

So here is friendless Zuko, unsure on how to be an omega that knows safety.

“Please,” he finally decides.

It is a simple nest, full of softness and two scents. Zuko wishes he could rid of the smell of charring skin when silk meets his left eye. Since he can never avoid the reminder of dishonor, he focuses on the other omega scent surrounding him.

Mai’s gentle presence whisks Zuko back into peaceful memories of before things changed in his life. Those moments in the garden, in his mother’s nest, and playing with Azula, that was home.

Today, Zuko only found the willpower to nest when he’s away from the palace.

He should know that he’s safe but instead there’s a dread in his stomach, hyper aware of all the things that make him feel not safe.

(Is this what Mother felt like when building a nest far away from Father?)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't particularly have a plan for any ships, I just want Zuko to be soft. 
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	6. A Reason to Unreel

Zuko tries nesting a few more times, both with Mai and on his own. He still prefers being with Mai.

Then after the night he hired the combustion bender, Zuko felt that familiar burn he associates with the Avatar. It is some gut instincts of danger, he concludes on. That’s the only thing that makes sense.

After that he didn’t feel like nesting.

Like he feared before, it wasn’t very effective on making him feel safe. It just made him more aware of everything that doesn’t make him feel safe.

The royal palace was a home for a young boy who loved turtle-ducks. It hasn’t changed at all, the structure, the staff, it no longer slots together for the scarred omega.

So a tiny piece of Zuko had hoped that he’ll feel better on Ember Island, the vacation home of when their family actually felt happy.

Yeah, the universe just loves to mess with Zuko’s chances of being happy.

Attempting to simulate into regular teenage social gathering is not something Zuko wants to get used to. He knows he’s awkward and definitely grumpier than usual as he and his sister are _bad_ at being normal. Mai and Ty Lee included despite their initial appeal of being strong and beautiful omega and alpha girls.

He’s just not the one to point that out loud.

“Honestly,” his sister complains, walking ahead of Zuko with a pile of family painting in his arms, “I followed Ty Lee’s advice perfectly and he still has the gall to flee rather than just surrender to the superior alpha.”

“Uh huh,” Zuko replied without much care. He just wants to get to the beach already to set fire to this memorabilia.

“Oh please, Zuzu, like you were any better when people were talking to Mai.” Despite her back to him, Zuko can tell Azula is rolling her eyes, “It’s not like they were asking to nest with her.”

“That’s not the point.”

“Really then what is?” Azula laughs, “Don’t tell me _you_ wanted to be the favored omega.”

“You’re the one who laughed so loud everyone stopped and stared at you.”

“As they should,” Azula flips her hair and because it’s her, her aim has hair flap at his face. Zuko’s too busy spitting out lingering strands to think of some retort. That leave Azula to continue talking in a softer tone, “But it wasn’t the attention I wanted. I know none of them are worthy to even think about courting me but no one actually cares about traditions here, do they?”

“What are you talking about?” He asks because he kind missed more than three years of socialization with people his age.

“Everyone at that party has the opportunity to date around and fail their relationships,” Azula mused and stopped walking. They’re a few yards away from their fire pit where Mai and Ty Lee are sitting. They haven’t noticed the siblings yet. Azula lowers her voice, “We’re not like them, are we.”

“Mai and I weren’t courting,” Zuko said and doesn’t mention anything about _dating_ since apparently he got dumped. For some reason he’s not too angry about that fact.

“You two nest together.”

“Yeah so?”

“That means something to her,” Azula said with a pointed tone but Zuko doesn’t understand.

At this point, this talk is more for _her_ than it is for him. So he tries to get some ground in this, telling what he knows, “Nesting is just something we do to feel…” He hesitates on the word safe because he still doesn’t feel that so he settles on a different description, “better or numb.”

Zuko tries not to feel offended when Azula just stares at him, almost dumbfounded, “That’s why you nest? To feel numb.”

He shrugs.

A growing frustration is in her voice, “You’re supposed to feel protected or gooey or important even, especially when you share your nest.”

At that last part, Azula’s eyes darted back to the fire. Zuko followed her trail. He expected Azula to be focused on Mai because that’s who they are talking about but no, she was looking at Ty Lee.

Connecting these dots of Azula knowing about Mai’s nests and Azula staring at Ty Lee is honestly giving Zuko a headache.

Well since Azula is feeling talkative, he asks, “Since when did you care about omegas?”

“Since you presented as one, dumdum,” she said and marches off to the fire pit.

Azula always lies.

She may have learned what the royal tutor taught them but that doesn’t mean she cares about it. As Zuko tosses the family paintings into the fire, he still tries to puzzle together Azula’s miff.

“What are you doing?” Ty Lee, a sentimental sweet speaking alpha, asks with unnerving concern.

In all their years, Zuko has talked to Ty Lee the least and yet she claims to know him. Well, he doesn’t know a thing about her and her identity issues or her sensitivity to auras or whatever is pink.

But Mai does.

Seeing Mai and Ty Lee bicker at each other, it feels too intimate for Zuko. They know each other’s personal lives and flaws at a level that surprises Zuko.

Mai rarely opens up and in return neither does Zuko, especially when they nest. They just don’t really do emotional talks or whatever. Here, Mai is talking only because it was Ty Lee who provoked her.

Actually they’re all getting on each other’s nerves and in the end it circles to Zuko and his anger.

They let him rant and complain and burn up about the fact that his own father gave him the scar and the hopeless mission as banishment.

Aimless scorn and bitterness fling from his mouth as he admits that he should be happy but he’s not. An eager burn rises within, happy in Zuko’s turmoil and confusion at why he’s angrier than ever and why he can’t nest in his own room.

He feels like he’s deteriorating, getting ripped by the very strings that are supposed to bind him up, but everything about Zuko is an inferno and it just burns as everyone asks _who_ this angry fire is for.

The fire pit mirrors only a fraction of the real inferno brilliantly burning within as Zuko yells, _“I’m angry at myself!”_

In a weaker tone he rambles on about his untrustworthy conscious as a weight shifts out of his bones. Realizing the anger towards him eased the inferno but he knows it is still there, burning him up.

It’s draining and almost cathartic saying all of this out loud and so in addition to the anger and confusion, Zuko utters, “I can’t even be a normal omega. I don’t know how to feel good when nesting, nothing’s helping me.”

“Nothing?” Mai asks and he didn’t notice when she got up, ready to comfort him but now she looks caught off guard, worried, and hurt.

“I’m sorry Mai.” He really means it. Zuko really wanted them to work out but, “I just… I don’t know why…”

She nods, “Okay. You’re still figuring this out, that’s okay.” Mai takes his hand, “If you need space or whatever, that’s fine.”

He’ll tell her that he’s grateful for everything, the distance away from the palace and just her calm presence, when they don’t have an audience. Right now he just squeezes her hand back.

“Huh, this must be one of those Omega bonds,” Azula comments in a teasing manner.

“Wasn’t dynamics a part of your advance studies?” Zuko shots back, a little ticked at how she is the only one who hasn’t riled up.

“Yes,” his sister nods and her gaze is on the dying embers of the campfire, “but it was all theory. After all, we didn’t spend much time together and then you were banished. As for Mother, well, there isn’t much to say.” In a softer tone she reveals, “Mother never invited me into her nest because she was scared of me. My own mother thought I was a monster.”

Azula’s voice was a ghost of her usual sharpness. Zuko has never heard her like this.

And then she perks up abruptly, “She was right, of course, but it still hurt.”

It is a weird shift and maybe there is leftover fire in Azula because she convinces everyone that they should go back to the party to end it.

In the short walk back to the beach house, Zuko ends up walking next to Ty Lee.

Quietly, she inquires, “Nesting hasn’t been helping you?”

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Right, of course,” Ty Lee rubs her arms uncomfortably, “but can I just say something and you don’t have to listen to me. I mean, I just learned your real opinion of me.”

Recalling that opinion, Zuko trails off, “Oh that, um.”

“I really am fine with being called a circus freak.”

To move past that, he prompts, “You were going to say something about me nesting?”

“Yeah,” again her voice lowers, “Your aura, it changed when you admitted you’re angry at yourself. Zuko, you’re right when you believe you’ve changed but you are still changing.”

He blinks, slowly processing, “You mean… Ty Lee, what do I scent like?”

“Lilies,” she smiles, “There’s still that burning scent but it’s not as overbearing as it used to be.”

“Oh,” Zuko said, shocked and amazed.

“I think you should try nesting again.” Ty Lee nudges her elbow at his arm, “See, talking about your feelings is a good thing. I mean, it helps with Mai.”

In the nearing lights of the ongoing party, Zuko sees an earnest glint in Ty Lee’s eyes as she looks at Mai.

Again, Zuko oohs but with more realization, “Oh, Mai nests with you.”

“She used to,” Ty Lee corrects. Before Zuko could _oh_ for a third time, she happily grabs his arm, “Come on mister firebender! Let’s give these people a show!”

For once the storm and the inferno are not swelling up inside of him. Instead it pulses out as Zuko, Azula, Mai, and Ty Lee destroy the beach house.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so I have a general idea of what ships I want. 
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	7. Scars Upon Others

After the beach, it feels like his life is settling into something he can accept.

But he can’t.

Zuko tries to follow Ty Lee’s suggestion of nesting again but he still can’t. Every time he tries he thinks about Uncle. Zuko has no idea if things will ever be mended until the other omega reaches out to him.

Of all the things to get Uncle Iroh talking to Zuko again, Zuko didn’t expect it to be about Fire Lord Sozin and Avatar Roku.

It was just another history lesson…

…Until it is not.

It came out of nowhere, the reveal of being the great-grandson of the previous Avatar. Everything about this sounds so crazy, how two destinies mashed together into just being a part of the storm and inferno inside of Zuko.

But there is absolutely no reason for Iroh to lie about this.

And honestly, it added up with a thing his mom once told him.

In her nest of silken sheets and her sweet lavender scent, Ursa had a tattered and batted sash in the middle. It was so out of place with the expensive materials that Zuko had to point out its difference.

All she told him was that it was a reminder of home, of humble roots where she grew up.

He never thought much about its significance until this moment.

She would question the tactics of his tutors because she didn’t grow up with the elite. She didn’t utilize the royal babysitters because she never thought about handing a child to a stranger to get some me-time. She specifically made a nest as far away from her husband as possible, to shelter the most important thing to her.

For a nest is not about home but of heart.

Ursa must have never seen the palace as a home.

Just like Ozai never had her heart.

But she gave pieces of her heart to Zuko.

And not to Azula.

There are so many divisions in this family, through blood and dynamic and heart.

Uncle once told him the greatest illusion is separation but that is practically what this royal family is built upon. Each and every one of them is separated from each other and Zuko has no idea on what to do with information.

All he knows is that there is a conflict within Zuko, a constant indecision on what is good and evil. It’s easier to just ignore it. Maybe one day he’ll figure it out, this whole being the linage of both Sozin and Roku or about an omega relearning how to nest.

Focusing on the omega thing is a better focus on his mind. It makes him think about Mother. Nesting has become a memorized practice but after talking with Uncle again, it feels less forced this time around.

It’s still a mess of soft pillows to support his lonely scent but now Zuko is able to reminisce about lavenders and lotuses. This is actually pretty nice if he admits it but still doesn’t feel right. He even takes a day to laze about with Mai and Ty Lee. Maybe they could’ve been his childhood friends too.

Then there is the meeting before the solar eclipse.

Zuko is seated on his father’s right side.

When Fire Lord Ozai speaks to him, the first thing in his sights is the scar made by his own hand.

The meeting goes on but it is quite short due to a simple plan and goal. Use the power of Sozin’s Comet to whip out the Earth Kingdom. A flawless plan suggested by Azula all because Zuko said their hope is strength. Of course she would see that as a weakness and of course their father listens to her.

But that’s just it, isn’t it?

As Fire Lord Ozai organizes his generals, Zuko doesn’t speak up.

As Azula grins with a vicious glint in her eyes, Zuko doesn’t speak up.

As the rest of the war room cheers for a future victory, _Zuko doesn’t speak up._

Zuko is burning with his lips sealed together.

Seated so stilly, no one would ever dare believe there is an inferno hiding in their shadows. None would bat an eye to the Omega Crown Prince walking out of the war room burning with shame and horror and lilies lost in a storm.

A boy untouched by the inferno had risen up against a crude plan on a smaller caliber.

That boy got tossed into the inferno, marked with dishonor.

As hours pass by, as the moon approaches the sun, that boy is burning.

Zuko makes up his mind.

He will face the storm and he will become the inferno.

The day of Black Sun is more than just an invasion.

As one sun is cloaked by the moon, a walking inferno burns with every word of the reality of this war.

A beautiful lie, Zuko recites as poetry, that war is a blessing upon the savaged lands and people that needs the rulings of fire.

He thinks about Song and her burnt leg, of Lee and his starved village, Jin who is stuck in a conquered Ba Sing Se, and about Jet and his pack of orphans.

Zuko has been so ignorant to the real reason why others have suffered.

All nations have burned for a hundred years. Everywhere Zuko traveled to have their own scorch marks on the people and the land.

The South Pole was drained of waterbenders. The North Pole’s princess sacrificed her mortal youth to be the moon. The Earth Kingdom has so many battlefields and so little homes. The Fire Nation is coated in the ashes of truth. The Air Nomads are gone saved for one little kid.

None of this is right.

Everything the Fire Lords have done is cruel and wrong.

The same could be said for Zuko’s past actions but not anymore. He knows what his destiny is now.

The world needs healing. It needs peace and for that to happen Zuko tells his father his decision.

“I’m going to join the Avatar and I’m going to help him defeat you.”

With that, Zuko’s fate is sealed.

He should’ve walked away but much like Azula, his father can easily sink claws into Zuko with mere words. Zuko takes the bait and learns about his mother’s banishment.

Somewhere out there, she’s alive and has a nest of lavenders. Zuko longs to find her, to tell her that she’s safe. But all Zuko can scent right now is ash and burnt earth, the very thing his father wants to see in the world. When the sun peeks behind the moon, ozone is in the air.

Months ago he taunted a thunderstorm to strike him down.

Zuko finally gets the lightning he begged for.

It’s nothing like the fires of his Agni Kai match. This time Zuko doesn’t feel death but his own life as bolts hum in his skin, wild and erratic as he follows Uncle’s teaching.

Guide the lightning and don’t control it because he is the humble guide. Be the petals in a storm and flow with it.

Those few seconds holding lightning has a burn that leaves Zuko feeling numb but he can handle it. He burns but it doesn’t hurt. He lets it go. 

As he’s running away from his father, further away from the Fire Nation on his own volition, Zuko takes a deep breath of fresh air.

He smells pond lilies soaked in the sun. Its strength matches the dry burn of skin.

It is a sign of change, proof that Zuko is changing into something good or something he used to be.

So he adds his newfound scent onto the small list of good things he has done when reintroducing himself to the Avatar and his friends. Maybe it that’s not as monumental as freeing the bison and then apologizing for constantly chasing them isn’t a great reminder either.

This is really challenging because Zuko kept sticking his foot in his mouth. Also their anger and distrust was all justified. He is just so _bad_ at being _good_.

At least Appa and Momo like him, so there’s that…

Oh and that earthbender too.

After the attack of the combustion bender, Toph is the only one willing to talk to him. She actually confuses Zuko the most since he knows Toph the least. He accidentally burned her feet so she should also be threatening his life just like Katara did.

“Your heart’s all over the place,” she tells him at his very first dinner with the group.

Aang had to actually get Zuko out of his room because the firebender had no clue if he was even wanted at the campfire.

So in sheer awkwardness Zuko took his little bowl of rice and sat as far away from the others. It appeared as if Katara wanted him both in her sights and nowhere near Aang and the campfire. That didn’t stop Toph from crawling over to sit next to him.

The little girl has the easiest scent to recognize, dirt and moss. It’s simple and misleading. He saw her bend against Azula in that town and she’s the one teaching Aang earthbending in the first place.

Toph was the one to seek him out, got burned for her efforts, and somehow still has faith in him.

“You can feel my heartbeat?” Unconsciously, Zuko brushes a thumb over his wrist, feeling the intense rhythm.

“Through my bending,” she explains, “It’s how I knew you were telling the truth.”

“Huh,” he wondered, “does it work against Azula?”

“Nope.”

Zuko sighed, “Figured.”

“She’s a good liar,” Toph praises with annoyance. Then she tilts her head to reconsider something, “Oh yeah. Tell me a lie.”

“Uh,” he lies, “I’m an alpha.”

At first Zuko can’t picture how Toph navigates the world through voices and heartbeats and scents. Apparently those tools are all she needs because she laughs loudly, “Wow, you’re a terrible liar!”

Considering Zuko said the lamest lie ever, he wonders what other lies this little girl has heard in her years. From Zuko’s level to Azula’s level, Toph must have experienced plenty of lies.

“I know,” he agrees.

“So then you’re really an omega?” She questions with a lot of curiosity for some reason.

“Yeah I,” Zuko pauses and registers the other scents in the temple.

There’s the Water Tribe Alphas, Toph and the other earthbender Haru are betas, the alpha in the wheelchair is named Teo, the Duke is too young to present yet, and Aang is the Avatar and so has no dynamic.

“I’m the only omega here,” Zuko blinked. It’s not that he’s bothered by that fact, more like he just doesn’t know what to do with it. “Huh.”

Because she can’t see his confused expression, Toph asks, “Is that a good thing or a bad thing?”

He shrugs and at Toph’s no response he rephrases, “Oh uh, I don’t believe it’s a big deal? I just realized it right now.”

And that’s true. Dynamics probably don’t matter in the end. Zuko just has to teach the Avatar firebending at a master level before the comet comes. Everything else about Zuko doesn’t matter, not his dynamic or his opinions or his fears.

He can just freak out about the idea of danger he’s in later. There’s no way will Azula and his father let his betrayal go without causing him some pain.

Toph interrupts his thoughts.

“You’re safe with us Sparky.”

Zuko takes a look around at the somewhat uneased atmosphere due to his presence alone. He recalls Katara’s deadly warning, Sokka’s tolerance, and Aang’s initial refusal and disbelief in Zuko.

He doesn’t know how to answer Toph so he says nothing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's safe to say we are halfway through this story. Hooray! And since Zuko's with the gaang that means more dialogue. Also in the next chapters imma gloss over my rules for the dynamics stuff. 
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	8. Dragon Up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I couldn't think of better chapter title so here's a Dante Basco reference

The first firebending lesson doesn’t go as Zuko planned. He can’t exactly teach the Avatar firebending if his own bending is so weak.

It makes no sense, either. Even the usual burn that ignites in Zuko is leaving him empty. How ironic that after weeks burning inside due to his own anger and inner conflict, it’s gone now that Zuko is on the right path.

But that’s just it isn’t it?

Zuko has been burning because of rage. There were probably other emotions that range from shame and guilt and pride but Zuko is mostly an angry person.

So he and Aang journey to the Sun Warrior’s old civilization and what do they find?

Dragons.

They aren’t extinct and they don’t extinct the banished prince and the hundred year late Avatar. The original firebending masters grant the two with an inferno that burns beautiful and harmonic.

It redefines the way Zuko thought burning is.

Ever since the first time Zuko felt like he was burning, he believed it was just a part of his suffering. It was in a sense because it was sourced from his despair.

Here, standing next to Aang, the burning feeling is back but Zuko finally gets it.

He feels hopeful and so sure in himself and his destiny.

More than that, Zuko believes that Aang has a chance to save the world. That chance will increase as long as Zuko is still burning to help him.

Seeing Aang firebending in pure delight is exactly how Azula looked like when she produced her first flame. His innocence and youth is evident in every breath Aang takes.

Zuko once compared Aang to Azula in terms of their skill.

As he watches Aang test out his bending in front of the Sun Chief, Zuko understands that this is the _fourth_ time Aang learns an entirely different bending culture. This is the path of the Avatar, to study and practice bending of all four elements.

Uncle spoke of the importance of learning from others. Azula would never stray away from perfected firebending techniques. Be it from dragons or from people of other nations, Zuko now understands the importance.

He was always taught that a fire’s energy was solely for the sake of power, that burning is another meaning of destruction.

Right at this moment, from the dragons’ blessing and the Avatar’s newfound courage to bend fire, burning can mean protection and peace.

That’s what Zuko must become for Aang and the rest of the world.

What the omega does next is purely instinctive.

Due to the height difference, Zuko bows over to press his forehead against Aang’s. It’s a gesture Zuko has seen omega parents in Ba Sing Se do to their kids, some affectionate thing that normally he wouldn’t pay attention to.

(He vaguely remembers Uncle doing this gesture when Zuko was fever heated)

It feels more than a familial protection here as Zuko promises, “I will do everything I can to keep you safe, Aang.”

Every moment Zuko has ever shot fire at Aang runs through his head, his heart pounding with regret and shame.

Aang stares up at him with wide eyes and an even wider grin. That’s when Zuko realizes that he is within hugging range.

Small arms wrap around Zuko’s waist as his own hands helplessly hang in the air with surprise.

Aang buds his head against Zuko’s shoulder, “I’m really happy we’re now friends, Zuko.”

He remembers a nest of fallen leaves and how tired he was. This kid lugged his unconscious body to safety and wondered if Zuko could be a friend.

Zuko lowered his hands to return the hug, relaxing just a little.

Suddenly Aang leaned back and announced with amazement, “Zuko, you smell different!”

“What?”

Being none of the dynamics was just another thing that separated the Avatar from the rest of the world. Aang didn’t have a scent or the quirky instincts like his friends but he is plenty happy to see how it works for his friends.

“Remember what you said before,” The boy jittered and still clung to Zuko, “We really couldn’t scent lilies off of your until you caught us at the temple. You said your scent changed because you’re good now.” Aang practically vibrated for this next part, “You smell different again, like fire.”

“We were nearly roasted by dragons’ breath,” he reminded the Avatar, “so we’re both smelly.”

“That’s it! The dragons’ fire,” Aang cheered like he solved a mystery, “Rainbow fire and sun lilies!”

A weak confused noise exits Zuko.

Despite the many times Zuko thought badly of the charred scent he carries, he never actually believed it would ever leave him. It became a part of his identity, both the scar and the memory.

Most of his life was dedicated to installing a shame his father constantly gave him. It corrupted his scent and idealism during his banishment.

Zuko burned countlessly in his life, in dishonor and anger, and now he burns again with the blessings of dragons.

Still though…

“Rainbow fire?” He questioned.

“Hey, it’s that or calling it dragon breath.” Aang had a thoughtful expression, “Could I have smelled like Appa breath?”

“Gross.”

Yeah, Zuko will take dragon breath over bison breath any day. Speaking of that, Zuko spends their flight back to the temple trying to describe this new scent. Usually fire smells like whatever was burning and for Zuko it was skin, an awful stomach turning smell that sends no pleasantries to anyone with a nose.

This dragon fire smells like pure heat and some unknown herb lost in time. It feels both intense and soothing, like a knotted part of Zuko is finally untangled. He really is changing and that sparks an old hope in him.

If his scent is different, then maybe nesting would feel different too, better even.

So after demonstrating the dragon dance, where everyone teased Zuko, he later awkwardly enters the main temple area they have dinner in. It’s just the main four, meaning Katara is here and that makes Zuko super nervous and more awkward.

Aang catches him and his unease, asking, “Is something wrong Zuko?”

“Nothing, I just um… Can I, well,” he struggled over his words. If he really want this then he has to use words properly, “Do you have like an extra blanket I can have by any chance?”

“No,” Katara said immediately, without looking up from the boiling pot.

“Just use Appa’s fur,” Sokka suggested. Most of his focus is tasked on sharpening his sword.

Zuko nodded jerkily, too caught off guard by the friendly tip right after the expected denial.

“Huh, I guess you must be too used to loads of blankets back at your palace,” Katara assumes, her stirring just a tad harsher than before.

At the correct accusation, he complies, “Maybe just a little, like, only for my nest. Which is what I was asking for because,” one by one, they stops what they’re doing to stare at him, “uh, because I need to nest, yeah.”

Technically one person isn’t staring at him but she’s the only who reacts. Toph bluntly asks, “What, are you going into heat?”

“No, I just like nesting.”

There’s no particular reason to be so embarrassed to admit that. Sure at first they probably never knew he was an omega but the way they reacted makes it feel so odd. He belatedly realizes this might be the only time he ever acted like a docile omega to them.

From Aang, he doesn’t look too bothered, simply nodding like the monk he is. The Water Tribe siblings on the other hand appear to have a hard time thinking about Zuko and nesting in the same sentence.

And because no one is stopping her, Toph asks again, “So you’re just feeling horny?”

Now everyone stops what they’re doing to stare at her. All with ranging degrees of red tinted faces.

 _“No!”_ Is a single word that Zuko managed to shuttered into at least four syllables.

Toph tilts her head, her eyes still not meeting Zuko’s. “Then I don’t get it. Omegas nest when they’re horny and in heat right?”

“Where would you possibly learn that?” Since this is about his dynamic, Zuko is the only one picking up his tongue.

“Underground earthbending tournaments,” she answers.

Apparently that sends a look of recognition to the other three but not for Zuko.

Feeling kind of defensive for his dynamic, Zuko explains, “Well they’re partially wrong. That whole horny thing is just exaggerated. If an omega wants to spend their heat sexually then yeah, they’ll seek out a partner or a mate or just to have children. Mostly it’s just a safety thing.”

“Wait,” Sokka pauses, “Or? Not and?”

“Uh,” Zuko blinked, “or and what?”

“The whole find a mate _or_ ,” he emphasized, “just to have kids.”

The omega scratches his neck, still not sure what Sokka is getting at.

Aang sees the confusion, “Oh! I can answer this. Some omegas can still be mateless and carry children.”

“Wait what?” Katara pipes in, “Why would someone leave a pregnant omega alone?”

“Sometimes it’s the omega’s choice,” Zuko said but can’t help but feel uncomfortable underneath Katara’s disbelieving frown.

“Yeah, I saw single parents like that visiting the temples for delivery assistance,” Aang shared. “Sometimes they had a friend with them and other times the omega had more than one mate.”

“Really?” Zuko questioned. He never heard something like that before.

“I never thought about dynamic relationships like that,” Katara said, beginning to serve the stew with Aang’s help. “Although I should’ve seen something like that coming if there’s anything to learn about the North Pole.”

“Ooh, a North Pole story,” Toph awed with glee, “you gonna complain about the patriarchy, Sugar Queen?”

Katara visibly bristled and Zuko has no clue if Toph can sense that. Still that bitterness is in her tone as she does complain, “Their laws were so sexist before I got there. Doesn’t matter what dynamic you are, if you’re a girl, you can’t fight.” She bends a small orb of stew into the air with a victorious grin, “I sure showed them wrong.”

“It’s a good thing you two came from the South,” Toph agreed.

“No, no, I was little sexist,” Sokka admitted. His sister hands him a bowl of stew with a light smack on his shoulder, “Okay I was a lot sexist but Suki changed my mind, yah know, by kicking my ass.”

“What a great method of teaching,” the earthbender sighed dreamily.

“Hey, what you said to Zuko was sexist too in a way,” Sokka said, surprising Zuko that he’s being defended.

“Yeah,” she nodded, “Sorry Sparky.”

“It’s fine,” he said automatically, thinking about Jin.

“You’re not fine,” she countered.

“No, I just,” he shrugged, “I think I get why you thought that way. A girl in Ba Sing Se told me that the Earth Kingdom was really traditionally about courting dynamics. I guess you heard the old stereotypes.”

“Sort of,” Toph mumbled and paused. When she does speak up, Zuko’s a bit surprised by what she says, “My parents and I are all betas so there was no point in teaching me stuff about the other dynamics. They just figured they’ll marry me off to another beta one day.”

“I get that,” Zuko nods, “I would’ve end up in an arranged marriage too.”

At that phrase Sokka scowls, “Pssh, arranged marriages.”

He doesn’t elaborate and the topic is thoroughly changed when the other three Earth Kingdom kids arrive for dinner. It’s the usual evening as Zuko stays far away from the rest until Aang sits at his side. It’s nice.

Right as Zuko is leaving the campfire, someone is walking at his side.

“Hey can I join your nest?”

Katara is the one to bleat, “Toph! You can’t just ask that!”

“Why not?”

“Because it’s not some flippant thing you can just intrude on and-“

“Sure,” Zuko answers.

“Okay so your room then.”

“Yep.”

“Let’s go Sparky.”

He knows that Toph is blind but from the small curve of her lips she knows exactly how Katara is completely aghast. Aang sends a hesitant but encouraging thumbs’ up but Sokka looks tense and conflicted, casting Zuko a concerned glance as he and Toph leave.

Oh right, they’re alphas.

Zuko kind of forgot the unspoken message of an omega nesting in close range of an alpha. It means that the omega is giving the alpha a grand level of trust and vulnerability. Usually this message doesn’t matter at the palace because all those other alphas were just hired staff, impersonal and nameless.

So unintentionally, Zuko just gave Katara and Sokka major alpha pride crisis.

Oops.

He should apologize later. Maybe this is another cultural difference that the omega isn’t aware of. The same could be applied to Toph too.

“So what do you do to nest?”

“Just sit around in blankets, like napping or meditating. Ty Lee said that talking about feelings would help.”

“She’s the peppy chi blocker, right?”

“Yeah that’s her.”

“Let’s not do that.”

“Fine by me.”

His room in the temple consists of a bed roll, a single blanket and pillow, his sack of stuff, and the scroll of his uncle. It’s eerily similar to when he was sick in Ba Sing Se, lacking the fact that Uncle isn’t here. Well at least this time he has company.

Zuko crawls on top of the bed roll and sits with his back against the wall. The blanket isn’t that big so he tucks it around his shoulders and curls his knees to his chest.

Toph is still standing by the doorway.

“Um,” Zuko opens up the blanket, “You could, if you still want to, sit next to me?”

“I think you could’ve gotten another blanket if you asked again,” she said as she crawled over, scooting close to press against his right side.

“Katara said no.”

“You just gotta wear her down with your omega-ness,” she waved off, “or Sokka, he might be an easier target.”

“I don’t want to use their dynamic against them,” Zuko said, “not that I even know how to do that.”

Toph shrugged, “Just call them Alpha, it really butters them up.”

Zuko tenses up, “I can’t do that. I’m not a pack member.”

“Aren’t you?” She was genuinely confused, “Your scent’s all over Aang.”

Shaking his head, Zuko curled up a bit more, “Only because I did this omega thing, it sort of just happened.”

He’s slowly getting used to willingly do omega habits like nesting or the mild scenting thing he did with Aang. It’s a little embarrassing due to how new Zuko is at accepting this side of him.

Sometimes it feels awkward but also natural. Zuko and Toph end up leaning against each other, breathing quietly and enjoying each other’s peace. He closes his eyes and relaxes.

“I may not know stuff about omegas but I know enough about scents and heartbeats.” Toph said in a soft voice, “Katara is super salty, but also she scents like pure ocean water. Sokka on the other hand scents like paint or ink. We’re all pretty identifiable when we scent each other. Twinkle Toes love scenting the most, says it’s like we’re always hugging him.”

“So,” he concludes hesitantly, “I scented Aang.”

“Actually I think you may have pack bonded with him.”

His eyes shot open, “…what?”

“Yeah, scenting is much stronger after bonding. We figured this out when we pack bonded back in Ba Sing Se.” She shifts around to get comfortable, oblivious to Zuko’s shocked face and nervous heartbeat. “Sure we’ve scent before then but at that time we were just about split up. Aang was the one who suggested it, saying how instead of goodbyes we should pack bond and feel like we’re still together.”

“…I accidently pack bonded with Aang.”

“Yep, sounds like it.”

“I didn’t mean to!” He gulped, “I just, I didn’t know and I’m sorry and-“

“Zuko,” Toph lightly kneed his side, “It’s fine. Aang accepted your bond, the rest of us will too.”

“I didn’t know what I was even doing,” Zuko explained, frustrated at himself and how she’s not mad at him, “I just did the forehead thing and said I’ll keep him safe.”

“Forehead huh, sounds like an omega thing,” Toph said, “but the promise is actually the bonding.” Zuko buries his head in his hands. “If you said that it just happened then it was instincts. Trust it.”

“Yeah but…”

“Do you not mean it then?” She poked his arm, “Did you regret promising it to Aang.”

“No, of course not.”

“Then don’t apologize.”

Zuko barely stops himself from nodding to the blind girl, “Okay, you’re right.” He fixes the blanket around them, “Um, thanks for telling me the pack thing. Are the others going to be okay with that, with me?”

“I’m gonna tell you this again,” Toph’s open hand appears in front of his face, “You’re safe with us, Sparky, I promise.”

It takes a second for Zuko to get it.

“Are you sure?”

“I said my piece, not regretting it.”

With that, Zuko accepts and guides Toph’s tiny hand to his face. He lets her feel the smooth skin of his right side. His heart picks up when the fingers inches over his nose.

She stops and pulls back, “Sorry, my hand is at a bad angle.”

It’s true, her left hand is reaching up and they’re still side by side. Toph probably just thought about making a bond at that moment. She really wants him as pack.

“I have a scar,” he tells her and she deserves to know this. Whatever image she has up him needs to be truthful, he doesn’t ever want to lie and hurt her for something she can’t see.

“On your face?” Her voice is tight.

Zuko uncurls his knees and scoots over so that he and Toph are face to face, her white milky eyes not moving. “Do you want to try again?”

“Yes,” she holds out both hands to him, giving him the choice on what she should feel.

This is Toph, a master earthbender whose hands and feet could carve mountains and reshape metal. He only seen her train Aang a few times and she is wonderfully in tuned with her element because she trusts and uses it daily.

Right now she’s putting trust into Zuko. She sits with her ankles crossed, the soles of her feet facing the air, and her hands in Zuko’s. He gently guides both hands up to cup his face and closes his eyes.

He thinks both of them flinched when she made contact with the scar. She’s back on, a feather light pressure brushing over the dry skin. Every movement Toph conveys is the opposite of her usual attitude, she’s slow and hesitant and he feels her fingers tremble over the marred skin.

Zuko leans his face to the right, letting her carry some of its weight, giving her a trust and responsibility in his nest. Trusting his instincts, he nuzzles against her hands just a little. That makes Toph secure her hold, letting him be an omega to her beta.

A small part of Zuko wants to laugh. They initially agreed to not talk about feelings or emotions but here they are, pack bonding. It’s nice and now that Zuko is aware of it, he notices how strong their scents are.

Eventually they adjust the nest, Toph resting in his lap and holding his hand. It’s nice and soothing, breathing in the scents of lilies among dirt and moss, warmed by dragon fire.

At some point he drifted off because Zuko is sure he only has one blanket but now there’s three more piled on top of him and Toph.

They smell faintly like ink and sea salt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I swear, every chapter is getting longer with heavier emotional dialog. It's challenging and fun and tricky going through Zuko's head, specifically the themes of the Southern Raiders episode. But that's too early to mention. 
> 
> The Boiling Rock coverage is next so be prepared for something a little bit of canon divergence. 
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	9. Grasping Control

Zuko has only seen one other pack up close before. It was Lieutenant Jee and a few crewmembers.

It was easy to see them all respect Jee as their captain and as their pack leader. There was camaraderie in their music nights and unwavering trust when navigating seas and storms.

Everything about a pack is so different than the family Zuko grew up in. So he often assumed pack and family as two separate things where their bonds and love are different.

That is apparently a misconception as Sokka is willing to break into a high security prison on the off chance his father is there. 

Zuko was prepared to drag Sokka away from this horrible idea up until Sokka used the word honor.

Spirits, Zuko can’t let Sokka be a messed up son like him.

So they break into the Boiling Rock. It is not fun. It’s super-hot and stressful. They are essentially stuck here and Zuko wants Sokka to succeed.

In their time at the temple, Zuko has the chance to understand Sokka as an ally and not an enemy.

Sokka has keen eyes and calm hands, both used with precision for his boomerang and sword. Speaking of his swordsmanship, Zuko recognizes Sokka’s forms. Master Piandao trained him, the amazing teacher who taught Lu Ten and later Zuko the ways of the blade. There are also Sokka’s hunting skills, years’ worth of practice to fish and camp and traverse the woods.

Most importantly, Sokka knows his pack. He knows how to organize them and sees when they need to stop training to relax. Personally, Zuko is grateful when Sokka takes Katara’s attention off of him.

Zuko initially thought the two alphas would fight more. They do but it comes off as playful or teasing. The only time they do get serious is about their disagreement about Zuko.

Katara of course doesn’t like him. Sokka’s tolerance has changed after Zuko bonded with Aang and Toph. He’s friendlier to Zuko, far more inviting than his sister. It isn’t much but it means a lot to Zuko. Sokka makes Zuko feel lighter, eases the occasional burn that’s fueled with Zuko’s despair. So Zuko wants to do that same.

Yet guilt burns up Zuko’s throat when he has to tell Sokka that his dad isn’t here.

Once again, Zuko is bad at being good. He tries to be a good friend or even a decent omega but it’s like the world is always setting Zuko up for failure.

And then the world turns for them for once. Sokka reunites with Suki, the omega warrior of that island that Zuko once burned.

Yeah, Zuko is the prince of awkward reintroductions.

( _‘Hello Zuko here’_ will haunt him forever, he knows it)

Anyway Sokka’s escape plan is doable, even with the surprise addition of Chit Sang. It can work.

It’s luck that has Zuko and Sokka stuck in a prison cooler at the right moment to overhear guards gossiping about new arrivals, one who could possibly be Sokka’s dad.

And because this is Zuko and luck, the guards haven’t left the hallway yet so they are still stuck in the freezing cooler meant to torture firebenders. Zuko got his fire breath as support but Sokka is quickly getting frostbite.

“Hey, um let me,” Zuko hesitates for a second but after Sokka shudders harshly, well there’s no time for Zuko to be awkward.

The firebender cups his hands gently around Sokka’s neck and pulls him close. He presses their cheeks together to breath down heated air close to the freezing skin. Immediately there are shivering hands clutching at Zuko’s side, seeking more warmth. So if this embarrassing and intimate position gets Zuko to run a little hotter, fine, that’s _fine_ , beneficial even because they are in a cooler.

So yeah, they don’t talk about that when the coast is clear and they detach the cooler for their escape plan. Except that they don’t escape.

With Zuko’s semi-insulting encouragement, Sokka takes the gambit of waiting one more day to see if his dad is really here.

And it pays off.

The way Sokka is at tears at seeing his dad step off the prison gonadal hits Zuko with a wave of emotions. That’s how a bond between and father and a son should be like.

(Zuko really misses Uncle)

Anyway, new plan: riot and take the warden as hostage.

Easier said than done.

A bunch of things happen.

Zuko gets shoved in an interrogation room with one single occupant.

“Hello Zuzu.”

“Azula?” He tries not to stare at the empty space at her sides.

She eyes his prison clothes with great distain, “Gotta say, this outfit suits you.”

He would honestly think that Azula is enjoying herself at this but there’s just something odd about the way she carries herself. Azula is the one with the most power in this situation but her fists are tightly clenched, tension in her shoulders. She orders the security guards to leave them alone.

Her guard is never down and yet she’s setting it so high, prepared for something to hurt her. Azula never acted like this before. She was always sure in her power, especially when Mai and Ty Lee are with her.

But they’re not, Azula is here alone.

“Where are Mai and Ty Lee?”

There is a brief second of astonishment before she cackles meanly, “You’re asking about those two and not your own blood? Wow, prison has changed you but hey, it’s what you deserve after all.”

Zuko is so tired of meaningless words, the specialty she learned from their father. He got answers about Mom, he can get answers about his friends, “What happened to them Azula?”

“If you must know,” Azula idly checks her nails, “they’re gone.”

Gone could mean a million things. Death, banished, missing, or anything worse that will taunt Zuko’s dreams.

He’s tired of being chased by questions.

“Azula, tell me where they are.”

She snaps her eyes at him. It’s like he struck a nerve, jumbling her world until it’s upside down and out of order.

“What,” Azula hisses, “you think _I’m_ why they’re gone?”

Normally, Zuko would voice his honest confusion but in the past few weeks he learns to just go with the chaos.

“Well,” he crossed his arms languidly, “You are you.”

“Excuse you!” And if Zuko wasn’t right in front of her, he wouldn’t have noticed the steam rising out of her gritted teeth.

Zuko takes a step back.

He has only seen Azula with this type of anger once in their childhood, when they attempted to recreate the _Love Amongst the Dragons_ in the royal gardens. He messed up on a monologue, said it out of order, and Azula was furious for his flaws.

Smoke and fire was all around the little girl who criticized her brother ruining the structure of the speech.

A tantrum like that is rare, where the more Zuko digs into this issue, the more unhinged Azula will get.

Zuko recalls this all a second too late as Azula takes a step forward.

It’s a windowless room of a prison and yet Zuko feels it’s just like back in the palace only because Azula is here glaring at him. So far her form is neutral, nowhere near any bending forms but there’s still that tension in her.

“You’re such an idiot,” She continues, forgoing the favored insult of dumdum. “Can’t you think of any reason why my only friends would suddenly disappear the day of the eclipse?”

That was the same day Zuko left the Fire Nation. Aside from the confrontation with Ozai, Zuko left letters for both Mai and Ty Lee. He wanted to make amends with them before going off to break out Iroh but was met with a busted cage.

“I guess they changed their minds about the war,” he said. “We both know that Mai is against killing and Ty Lee’s chi blocking meant more than just a neat skill. War was always your thing Azula.”

Azula stares at him. Her silence rubbing him wrong but her small laugh is chilling, “You always looked at the big picture, so oblivious to the people right next you.”

“That may be true,” Zuko agrees, thinking of the years taking Uncle’s love for granted.

“You still don’t get it Zuko,” Azula scolded, “Think hard of everyone relevant in our lives. What happened to them?”

Lu Ten died in the war, Azulon’s death was orchestrated, Ursa struck a deal with Ozai, Iroh opposes the ideals of their homeland, and now Mai and Ty Lee are in the wind too.

“The war-“

“It is not the war to blame!” Frustration is literal fire sparked out of Azula’s mouth. “It’s you! Everyone in my life leaves because of _you!_ ”

Zuko flinches away from the blue fire, his back hitting the stone wall.

His sister doesn’t regard him as an enemy. She stares him down as prey and unleashes a rage that must have grown throughout their childhood.

“You’re the reason Mom left, and now the day you tell Father you turned traitor, Mai and Ty Lee are nowhere to be found!”

She’s all alone. There are no more scapegoats for their father’s sneers. From her perspective, it is all Zuko’s fault.

He can’t help but agree.

“I’m sorry Azula,” Zuko nearly chokes at the smoke piling in his direction.

Whatever he was going to say next, another apology or a plea, it does not matter because Azula lunges with a fist.

It’s a tight area for close combats and more dangerous for firebending. Even without the fire, both siblings excel in quick jabs and steady stances. Zuko always knew that Azula preferred swift kicks, exemplified as she swings a heel too close to his blind side.

He ducks under with a roll, trying to put space between them and get to the open door. A blast of fire targets the doorway and before Zuko could think of just recklessly diving through it, Azula knee dives at his back.

Azula digs her nails into the nap of his neck and rams his face into the ground. A boot pins down his wrist while the rest of Azula’s weight is in the knee crushing his spine.

“Everyone thinks you’re just some soft hearted omega that needs to be cherished,” Azula praises mockingly. Her free hand grabs his chin, forcing his scarred eye to look up at her, “but Father and I know what you really are. You’re a helpless little weakling that can’t do anything right.”

Again, Zuko can’t help but silently agree.

That old miserable burn rolls around his head, repeating Azula’s and Ozai’s words.

He was always so weak and imperfect and emotional, something that their father hated but their mother supported. Ursa gave up everything for Zuko and he tarnished her faith by becoming an outrage.

Zuko tried to be good, to be honorable for his family and his nation but was left scarred and desperate for an impossible love of a horrible father. An overlooked result of his life is how Azula was constantly abandoned.

With the sharp fingers holding down his head, he softly says again, “I’m sorry, Lala.”

It’s silent in the room, leaving the outside world’s rioting noise spilling in.

Zuko hears approaching stomps but underneath that he catches his sister whispering, “I wish you were lying.”

In the hallway, someone shouts, “Zuko, you here!?”

That voice lights a viscous smile on Azula but Zuko waits no time in her smugness. With his free hand Zuko rips Azula’s grip off his face and tries to heave her off.

“Sokka!” He calls and barely scrambles over to the exit but Azula is back on him.

She kicks at his arms and he blocks the hit and its fire but Azula gets close to jab his throat. Air is knocked out of him, nearly losing his balance trying to breathe and deflect more of Azula’s attacks.

By the time Sokka and Suki get to the room, Azula has knocked Zuko’s feet from under him and he falls uncomfortably against the wall, his knees harshly supporting his batted body. A boot heel crushes his shoulder, preventing him from getting up immediately.

Azula has her hands poised to blast at his face, eerily similar to when he kneeled before their father in the arena. Horrible nostalgia and panic has Zuko freezing and burning in place.

She grins at their audience.

“Oh it’s you, come to rescue another damsel? Hmm, I don’t think so.” Sokka visibly shakes in anger as Azula continues. Her attention moves to Suki, “Looks like I got a new favorite prisoner.”

For a second, Zuko saw something scary and dangerous flash over Suki’s face. While Sokka is boiling and readying his sword, Suki is absolutely smooth in her expression, deadly calm and focus as she shifts into a fighting stance.

“Let him go,” Suki demands.

“Are these your new friends Zuko?” Azula flashed her teeth, “Another omega to invite into your nest to guarantee luring an alpha, right?”

A grimace wars over Zuko’s face, both hurt of what his sister accuses and how he has no words to convince her otherwise. A little part of him also can’t stand up for himself, too fearful of the hand near his eyes.

“Get away from him,” Sokka orders in a low voice. Zuko risks a glance over and sees that Suki has an arm extended out, stopping Sokka from getting closer.

Azula scoffs, “How’d you get so charismatic Zuko? Again, everyone wants to protect you but that’s unfair.” Her hands catch fire, “You can’t protect anyone. You never did.”

The ambiguity has Zuko jumping to conclusions, thoughts about Mother, Uncle, Aang, and even Azula too. The oldest shame pushes forward, demanding Zuko’s grief for the 41st Division.

Zuko is burning, always burning, ever since that war meeting. He stood up for his nation only to kneel and be burned by its leader. He remembers the second time he stood up against the Fire Lord. It was for all the nations’ sake and he was shot with lightning.

Somehow Zuko survived both burns.

It is cruel and wrong to be burned by his family. Zuko refuses to be burned a third time, kneeling like he when he was thirteen and begging for mercy.

His whole body trembles at the blue fire filling his vision and Zuko does what he didn’t do that day: react.

He shoves Azula’s foot off his shoulder, topping her stance off and dispels the launched fire. Azula simply follows the momentum, kicking fire to counterbalance herself. Fire spins in the room and Sokka ducks low while Suki dodges high.

Suki propels herself off the walls, jumping down on Azula who uses her forearms as a shield. The girls engage in more fluid punches, Suki managing to hit Azula’s wrists to mess with her aim. The fire still coats the doorway and this time Zuko does recklessly dive in.

Zuko ignores Sokka’s call of his name as he shifts his feet to bend the fire to a wall. The temperature in the room is sweltering as Azula continues firebending. Suki barely has room to roll away for Sokka to dash in, the flat of his sword hitting Azula’s arm out of a bending position.

Leave it to Azula to bring fire daggers to a sword fight.

Sokka doesn’t have the proper mobility to use single hand style against a dual wielder, leaving him to be on the defense. He uses the same moves Suki used to knock Azula’s fire away from his face. Still, Sokka forces Azula to step back and back until she’s away from the door.

“We gotta go!” Suki yells once there’s enough space between the exit and the fire Azula keeps kicking at it.

Zuko waits for Sokka to drop his stance and sees how Azula takes that second to release the daggers to bend an inferno. He takes Sokka’s place and bends the fire to split in front of him. Azula can’t bend in one stance forever so the moment she stops, Zuko runs.

Suki slams the door behind him and blue fire burns out of its sliding eye window. He barely hears his sister screaming as they run away. 

The rest of the escape is mercifully smooth, the gondola is a short but tense trip and they quickly find their next transport.

As the two people who weren’t in prison and mildly understood military engineering, Sokka figured out the airship’s controls with Zuko’s assistance.

Once they were in the air, they all collected their breath and in the midst of that an arm is slung around Zuko’s shoulders.

He nearly jerked his whole body away but stops in time. The scent of ink is a little overbearing as Sokka pulled Zuko and Suki into a tight hug.

“Uh…” Zuko mumbled.

“What,” Suki laughed tiredly, “never had a pent up alpha aggressively cuddling you before?”

Zuko looked through his memories, “Can’t say I ever have.”

Sokka held them tighter. His scent filling up Zuko’s nose and it reminds Zuko of his calligraphy lessons, the first brushstroke of ink upon a thin parchment paper. Another scent dances with it, lemongrass after a rainy day.

It feels too intimate so Zuko tries to untangle himself from the hug and scenting. His first tug away has Sokka frowning at him, big bear-puppy eyes weakening Zuko’s heart. Zuko turns to Suki for silent help. She only smiles at him.

“You really don’t understand alphas,” Suki, the leader that she is, leads them over to a bench of the control room.

“We’re a bit thick headed and need to feel like we are in control,” Chief Hakoda lectured. He took over Sokka’s place at the piloting wheel, looking every bit of captaining alpha that Zuko saw in his lieutenant, “So that ‘aggressive cuddling’ as you put it is kind of like our nesting thing.”

Nearby, Chit Sang takes a break from window gazing to take a look at the three teenagers to comment, “After what you three been through, I’m surprised your alpha isn’t in a rut.”

“I’m still in the room,” Sokka’s announcement is muffled against Suki’s collarbone. He gets ignored.

“Huh,” Zuko blinked. “I never thought about alphas nesting.”

His only reference to alphas was his sister and father so anything touchy-feeling is nonexistent. Yet the other part, the need for control completely describes Azula and probably their father too.

“Really?” The cuddly alpha peers up, still with a strong hold securing Zuko to his side, “You’ve seen me do this with the others.”

He shrugs, “I assumed it was just an ‘Avatar and friends’ thing.” Zuko huffs as Suki’s snorts at his phrasing. “Also you met the alpha in my life, she is not a hugger.”

At the reminder of Azula, both Sokka and Suki tense up. Sokka proceeds to bury his face against Zuko’s shoulder. That leaves Suki the chance to careful and slowly brings a hand to Zuko’s face.

Her thin and calloused fingers look like Azula’s but the nails are short and dirty. Her hand relaxes as Suki silently asks to reach over. Zuko nods, he doesn’t want to break this moment.

Suki lightly traces over his chin where Azula bitterly roughed up and Zuko tries to understand the emotions in her eyes.

Azula told Suki that Zuko would be her new favorite prisoner.

Zuko tentatively asks in a small voice, “What did Azula do to you?”

The omega pauses in her idle tracing and meets his eyes. Suki takes her time finding her words and instead asks him, “What did she do to _you_?”

The answer is many things. Manipulations, threats, take the blunt end of her hits, mock him, make fun of his scent, and tell him that nesting won’t have Mom come back.

He doesn’t know what Suki wants to hear so he says, “Azula always lies.”

Relief flows through Suki’s body, leans into Sokka, but her eyes are still tried as she agrees, “Huh. Yeah, I guess she does.” She closes her eyes and her hand slides down Zuko’s arm to hold his hand, “Thanks.”

Sokka rubs her back before pulling her in closer, letting Suki bring her knees up to curl into his side. She looks so small compared to the fighter who faced down Azula. This was how an alpha and an omega treat each other, just holding on and know the other is safe.

“You okay?” Sokka quietly checks, his arm is still around Zuko and it’s a nice weight anchoring Zuko away from the day’s excitement.

“Yeah,” he assures, letting exhaustion toil on him. Zuko sinks into the calming lull around his friends.

The Boiling Rock and his sister are getting further away and Zuko will take comfort in that distance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When writing this I thought hey, if the narrative heads towards the zukka renaissance, so be it. So I kept writing and then at the end I realized oh, the narrative demands more SUKI. 
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	10. Reuniting Strings

Because they used a fishing trip as their cover story for doing a prison break, Toph bullied Zuko and Sokka into actually fishing for dinner.

Toph was craving fish.

She also punched both boys’ arms because she cares.

Fortunately they have Hakoda, an expert fisherman, to help. Unfortunately Katara tagged along because she wanted family bonding. She shooed Zuko away as the family headed to the nearest river.

He doesn’t complain about that so he reviews Aang on his homework.

Zuko never really imagined himself as a teacher, that was Uncle’s role and honestly Zuko was not the best student. While Aang would occasionally whine or stumble through a kata, the kid wasn’t as near temperamental as Zuko once was, thank the spirits.

It’s a bit relaxing to focus on Aang’s training after the adventure Zuko and Sokka just did. Zuko just needed to get his mind off of Azula. There was a lot to unpack there, especially her supposed case with Suki, but Zuko believes a good hour of _not thinking about his sister_ is deserved.

The Water Tribe family gets to have time together, being happy that they’re all alive. Zuko can’t help but noticed that only the siblings have ever talked about parents.

So after Zuko ends Aang’s bending review, the Avatar does his cool down stretches and says, “I wonder what number of prison breakouts this is. We did a lot.”

Zuko doesn’t blink at this fact, too used to the hectic stories they vaguely explained.

“Well, be prepared for Sokka to retell this break out or maybe the Chief will?”

“Yeah, Hakoda and also Bato are great storytellers,” Aang nods enthusiastically. As they leave the temple’s training grounds, Aang comments, “Gotta say, Sokka’s the last person I thought would spontaneously do a prison break.”

“What. Is Katara more revolutionary?” Aang just stares at Zuko. “Okay yeah, she is but Sokka really wanted to do this. He risked it all to save his dad.”

“Sokka really loves his dad, Katara too of course, but for him it was about proving himself as a warrior.”

“Yeah, he told me something similar,” Zuko said.

“They’d do anything for their family,” the young boy smiles. In the slow sunset, a shadow lingers over Aang as he glances over to a temple mural of nomads. “The first time I went into the Avatar State was back at the Southern Air Temple.”

A huge amount of dread burns low in Zuko’s gut.

“Oh Aang,” he trailed off, thinking of the century old skeletons.

Aang stood in front of the mural. It depicted monks shaping clouds. “Katara calmed me down, said that I was a part of their family now. And when we met Bato, he said I was a part of the Tribe too.”

Zuko moved to Aang’s right side, “Toph told me you guys pack bonded in Ba Sing Se.”

He nodded, “I may not experience dynamics like everyone else but I wanted us to be a pack. Monk Gyatso and the others were my people but they taught me that anyone could be my family.” A conflicted expression flickers over Aang. “I met a guru. He said that in order for me to master the Avatar State I have to let go of my love. I couldn’t accept that. All I had was love and I don’t want to give that up.”

There is so much about the Avatar that people will never know. Their sacrifices and decisions and mistakes, it is influential to the world and the spirits. Only a selected few will be able to see how each Avatar lives and dies.

Zuko is lucky to know the depths of two Avatars.

“If there’s one thing I know,” Zuko places a hand on Aang’s shoulder, “is that the Avatar will always find love and family. Like Roku.”

Aang smiles brightly, “Yeah, like Roku. He showed me his past.” The smile dips into a loopy hopeful tone, “He got married to a girl he had a crush on.”

Zuko knows that he’s thinking about Katara but Zuko can’t help but latch onto something else, “Was that all of his family that you learned?”

“Pretty much, yeah,” Aang questioningly stares at Zuko with that Avatar wisdom, “Why, is there something you know Zuko?”

Feeling targeted, Zuko quickly weighs the consequences of telling Aang.

Is he prepared for dealing with an energetic all-powerful kid?

In the corner of his eye, the sunset shines fading pinks and oranges on the faded murals of a nearly gone nation.

Yeah, there’s no harm in telling Aang he has a bigger family than he thought.

“So Roku is my mom’s grandfather.”

Immediately, Aang is hugging Zuko. No doubting, just clear acceptance and joy. In return, Zuko slowly hugs back, gently butting his head against Aang’s. Whatever is going on in that bald noggin, Zuko hopes that this helps him.

When they reach the main temple area, the sky is still that warm orange tone. Everyone has rounded up for the hefty amount of fish the Water Tribe has brought. A fire is already up with fish skewers roasting.

Sokka waves Zuko over for the empty spot next to him and Suki. As for Aang, he normally sits with Katara who has a vegetable meal readied but Aang takes his sweet time before that.

The Avatar’s super big grin is the only warning of Zuko’s misery.

“We have another family reunion!”

“I regret telling you.”

Zuko covers his eyes, not ready to see everyone’s confusion shift into amusement.

“What are you on about Twinkle Toes?”

“Aang stop.” Zuko is ignored.

“I’m Zuko’s great-grandfather!”

Unlike Aang, there is casted doubt and confusion so Zuko explains shortly, “Uncle told me that Avatar Roku is my ancestor.”

“The Dragon of the West?” Chit Sang, their impromptu prison break escapee, specified in the only context he knew.

“Yep.”

Back to the main topic, Sokka laughs, “So wait that means Aang has parental authority over you.”

“It does not.”

“Come on Zuko,” Aang elbows him jollily, “Learn to respect your elders.”

“Maybe after you master firebending I will,” he huffed, moving away to sit by Sokka.

“Don’t turn your back on me mister!” Aang poorly used an old man impersonation.

At least the jest ends there as dinner gets served.

That’s when Toph points out, “That also makes you Azula’s great-grandfather.”

Everyone gets quiet, preferring to chew on their fish kabobs.

“Huh,” Aang says around his fried eggplant, “I’m not ready for that family reunion.”

“I think she’d be elated,” Suki said, “Azula loves drama.”

“She loves reactions,” Zuko specified, “thrives off it really.”

“Oh and then she’ll do that scowl before forcing a smile.”

“It’s not forced. She’s just instantly thinking ten steps ahead where she’s winning.”

Suki taps her chin, “Okay, that makes a lot more sense.”

Being in the middle, Sokka was constantly whipping his head back and forth. Eventually a look of recognition passes through Sokka, Toph, and Aang. Yet out loud, someone else comments on this.

“It’s you who the Princess always visited,” Chit Sang concluded as if he solved a big mystery. “We heard rumors that she was interrogating a prisoner but no one really knew who.”

“Well she can’t visit me anymore,” Suki chirped and bit fiercely into her fish. She probably senses Sokka’s distress because she automatically leans into his side.

“What about you?” Toph asks, “What were you in for?”

It’s like Toph knows she’s the only one who can appall Katara without any consequences.

“You can’t just ask that!”

“I just did, Sugar Queen.”

Chit Sang laughed over them, “Are you sure you all want to know? It’s a long story.”

An array of emotions is on everyone’s faces. Toph, Aang, The Duke, and Teo are genuinely curious. As fellow ex-prisoners, Hakoda, Haru, and Suki don’t seek an explanation but like Sokka and Katara, they want the topic to get away from Azula.

Zuko knows that the people who end up in the Boiling Rock are people the Fire Nation wants to ignore. It could be for any reason, politics or crime or revolts be it violently or nonviolently. He doesn’t know where Chit Sang categorizes into.

“Oh that sounds intriguing,” Toph answers for them, “Yes please.”

Chit Sang looks around the circle, mentally preparing his story. His eyes land on Zuko. The older man doesn’t appear nervous but there is something hesitant in the way he unlocks the tension in his jaw.

“I used to be a guard in the royal palace, tasked with escorting generals in and out of their meetings.”

Immediately, Zuko freezes.

He escorted generals to war councils. That detail lights something on fire in Zuko as Chit Sang continues.

“These old generals get a little too comfortable in the palace, thinking that they’re rubbing elbows with the elites. One day I escorted a group of generals out. One starts badmouthing something that went down in the meeting, how his speech or whatever got interrupted.”

No…

Oh _no_.

Everyone around the campfire is quiet. Zuko can’t run off without any of them noticing. Spirits, Sokka is right next to him too. Zuko tries to ignore Sokka glancing at him, likely sensing the distress Zuko is keeping at bay.

“The general complained about the naivety of a kid. How if soldiers enlisted for war, they should be prepared to die for whatever plan they and the Fire Lord approves of.”

Subtly, Zuko takes a deep breath.

No, he decides, he has to stay seated. Zuko owes that to the victims of this story. He also ignores the numb feeling in his legs, shackles of shame rooting him.

Somehow Chit Sang is a part of this three year old tale. It feels alarmingly similar to another man Zuko knows.

“That’s when I recognized this general.” He rolled his eyes with fond amusement, “My brother complained all about him in his letters.”

Hakoda laughed, instantly getting it, “New warriors just love to rag on their captains, don’t they?”

“It’s the best way to make friends in your fraction,” agrees Chit Sang but his lighthearted tone is gone as he states, “My younger brother and cousin were of the 41st Division.”

_(“I have a daughter, a little older than you. She joined the army and hoped to transfer over to the navy unit. She really wanted to serve under my command but first she was sent off to with the other new recruits.”)_

A weight drops in Zuko’s stomach as two conversations are overlapping, one around the temple’s fire and another from the past. It brings back cold sea air with its words.

“Anyway, the general keeps yapping. The interrupter is sentenced to fight for his honor. In my head I can’t understand why this went to such extremes. That is until the day of the Agni Kai match.”

“What’s an Agni Kai?” Teo asked.

“A traditional firebending dual of honor,” the Chief of the Southern Water Tribe answered much to everyone’s surprise. “I always heard stories but it’s usually about soldiers, not generals.”

“It used to be a just soldier thing,” Chit Sang nodded, “or maybe you’re thinking about something we called the Ten Duel Commandments. Anyway, Agni Kai fights eventually became a political power move. This one is different. Only the top elites and highest ranking officers were allowed access. But this was the royal arena, there were guards stationed at the doors outside.”

“Is this where you come in?” Aang leaned in, both impatient and eager to learn more. “You got arrested for stopping the fight?”

“No,” he said with shame, “I didn’t know who was up to fight. I’m not sure anyone really knew until it happened. Even then, I don’t know if anyone had the guts to stop this match.” Chit Sang drew in a deep breath and the campfire mirrored it. “How could a simple guard stop the Fire Lord from burning his… young subject.”

Zuko bit his lip. The need to plead and beg Chit Sang to stop talking is at the forefront of his mind.

Instead when Chit Sang meets his gaze, Zuko nods subtly.

He wants to hear the end of this.

“We all wondered why this happened, how something so disrespectful occurred in the front of the Fire Lord for this Agni Kai. The guards and I tried to piece it together the day after. One guard heard it was a dispute in the war meeting, I knew it was about a plan for the 41st, and another guy remembered how that general was notorious for losing his youngest troops.”

The firebenders could all see everyone trying to piece this together but they needed one last jigsaw to truly understand.

A part of Zuko wants them to never understand, to never know the end of this tale. He has a feeling if he asks Chit Sang to stop he will but Zuko actually prefers his narration over whatever Zuko could attempt.

Zuko nods again. He ignores Sokka’s inquisitive glance.

“Then two guards spoke up, said that General Iroh let the Omega Crown Prince into the meeting.”

He had seconds to prepare himself so Zuko chose to stare at the fire and not the many eyes targeted on him.

“It wasn’t a pretty picture even with the scattered information I had,” Chit Sang filled up the silence, recounting the details, “The Prince spoke against a plan that would send the 41st Division to death. He participated in an Agni Kai for his beliefs but chose to not fight against his father.”

Zuko doesn’t look up, his eyes too captured by the bright whites and oranges dancing. He thinks his eyes are tearing up from the heat.

“I sent it all in a letter to my brother. I had no clue if it reached him.”

_(“Months passed and I haven’t received any letters from my daughter. I got worried. She sent me so many letters during her basic training. I thought for sure I’d get a letter about her traveling through the Earth Kingdom.”)_

“We don’t know what happened to them and it wasn’t long before I got arrested for leaking news about a royal scandal that could be detrimental for the Fire Lord’s image.”

“That’s why you were arrested?” Sokka barked with so much scorn, “You warned a troop that their general was sending them to die and _Zuko_ , he…”

Zuko wills himself not to look at Sokka. He can’t imagine what is on everyone’s faces.

“Yep,” Chit Sang popped, “I got shoved into the next prison transport and haven’t heard any news of the outside world ever since.”

_(“Instead I and other families got silence or were told to wait for any reports. I pulled some favors to get answers but it was unsuccessful.”)_

In a small voice, Toph asks, “You don’t know what happened to the division?”

That fact has haunted the prince for years. It automatically had Zuko hopelessly say, “No one does.”

_(“An official report said that the 41 st Division reached the Earth Kingdom and that was it. Nothing else. No letters ever came back from the general in charge.”)_

“Actually,” Chit Sang began and this time, Zuko tears his eyes away from the fire to meet the other bender, “My buddy landed in the Boiling Rock a year later and told me something. At some point, my mom got a letter. It was my brother. The 41st didn’t believe my info and by then they were already docked at the Earth Kingdom, headed to secure a hill near Ba Sing Se.”

It’s like Zuko’s tongue can’t decide if it’s too heavy to move or impatient to spew words. “And then what?”

He meets Zuko’s eyes, a fateful determination flaring up, “My brother and cousin vowed to keep their division alive, whatever it takes. They didn’t write back what they planned to do. They did mention that they’ll do it for the Crown Prince because he saw honor in them.”

“I don’t, what I did,” the former prince shook his head, his voice raw and cracking, “Are they even alive?”

“I have hope,” he said, “That’s all I got left.”

There’s a heavy emptiness in the temple ruins. Zuko tries his mightiest to not make a noise as tears well up in his eyes.

After all these years, Zuko gets new information. It’s not the best one, a vague confirmation at best, but it’s still something. A burning part inside rip apart the hovering sentence of the 41st Division seeing honor in their Prince.

Now if only Zuko and the soldiers’ family knew if those kids are alive or not.

Sokka broke the solemn silence, “Hey Chit Sang, what does your brother looks like?”

The Water Tribe boy gets a lot of raised eyebrows but Chit Sang shrugs.

“He looks kind of like me but bigger eyebrows,” he described, “and my cousin, she has a mole under her nose.”

Now that sends an alarmed look between the original trio.

“Wait Sokka, you don’t think,” Katara trailed off.

“ _What_ ,” Zuko rushed, his body shaking, “What are you talking about?”

“My first firebending teacher,” Aang answered with a peace that Zuko envies, “Jeong Jeong the Deserter. At his camp there were a lot of people, both young and old.”

“One of them, she had a mole right here,” Sokka tapped under his right nostril.

“That’s my cousin,” Chit Sang breathed out heavily. In fact his whole body nearly collapses with that breath.

This man got his resolution but others have not.

“Did you learn any of their names?” Zuko asked with an intensity he can’t contain.

Three heads shook no.

_(“What’s your daughter’s name, Lieutenant?”)_

_(“Jiang.”)_

“Jiang,” Zuko repeated, not that any of them knew he was repeating the name, “Did you hear that name at all at that camp?”

Again they shake their heads but Chit Sang tilts his.

“Jiang, right? Wong and Kari mentioned her in a letter,” the older firebender smiled reassuringly. “She’d be with them. They’re all good friends.”

Hope, it’s hard to believe in hope alone because most of the time it is shapeless. At this moment in a temple ruins, surrounded by people who were originally known as his enemies, they gave Zuko hope.

“They’re alive,” he utters between trembling lips.

“Because of you,” The former guardsman stood up and walked over to him. “You stood up for them, burned for them,” Chit Sang bowed to Zuko, his hands in form of the symbolic flame, “You have my gratitude, My Prince.”

_(“Thank you for seeing the value in their lives, My Prince,” Lieutenant Jee bowed, his hands formed the symbolic flame.)_

Around Zuko there are a million other conversations. Shocked and processing this all, appalment at the war council, disbelief the horrible reality of who the Fire Lord is, and how this is the life that shaped Zuko.

It all burns Zuko. The origin of his inferno was his honor, a subjective identity he burned into his soul. He may have regrets for speaking out of turn, for disobeying his father’s order to fight, and for a thousand other things but Zuko does not regret speaking against the planned death of the 41st Division.

The price of that was not the burn or the scar or the banishment but the unknown if his efforts meant anything.

Zuko stands on shaking knees, still registering the massive amount of information, and bows to Chit Sang, his hands formed as the respected flame.

“Thank you,” Zuko’s throat is beyond dry, his core knocked out of orbit only to rush back to into place.

The silence returned to hear his small words, vulnerable to their sudden new light of Zuko.

Now that Zuko is paying attention, most of his friends look sick as they stare at his scar. He doesn’t mean to avoid their eyes but he faces Toph, her blindness taking the edge away from all of this.

Yet again, Toph is the one to initial the heavy topic, “Your father and your scar…”

He doesn’t want to say it out loud, it would be easier to just nod or do nothing but it’s Toph, Zuko doesn’t want to leave her in silence. “Yes, he gave me my scar.”

That is the first time Zuko has ever verbally acknowledged the rawest truth of that event.

For years he worded around it with verbs of rightly punished, branded as dishonor, or a million other self-loathing ideologies that burned anger, pride, and shame throughout Zuko.

He takes a deep breath and on the exhale, Zuko feels a little lighter.

That is not the case for everyone in the temple. None are happy with this revelation. It’s likely they never thought to ever ask about his scar. At the same time, Zuko never really thought about ever telling anyone the truth about it.

So he is woefully unprepared for everyone’s reaction. They’re all still in that shocked, frozen state. Before Zuko could debate about if he should use this opportunity to awkwardly leave, a loud and rough noise snarls into the silence.

Sokka grips his head, panting in an offbeat rhythm as a grumbling, wounded sound exits with each shaky breath.

“Sokka?” Zuko reaches out but a heavy hand pulls at his arm, dragging him a good distance away. He nearly kicks Chit Sang out of trained instinct, “What’s going on!?”

The older firebender looks every bit of a royal guardsman as he places Zuko behind him, “I should’ve seen this coming. He must have been stalling it.”

“What are you talking about?” Zuko shoves at Chit Sang to get a better view of Sokka.

The only ones at Sokka’s side is his blood family. He’s stomping in erratic circles like a caged animal, Katara and Hakoda blocking him when he stomps in Zuko’s direction. 

At an adjacent side, Aang and the others have backed off, worried and confused saved for one.

Suki is gritting her teeth and looks helpless. She makes eye contact with Zuko and shouts over, “Zuko, you need to get through to him.”

“What? No!” Katara disagrees strongly. She has water aglow over her hands, like she’s planning on healing some unseen wound on her brother. “I can handle this.”

“Katara,” her father has that commanding tone but it is useless on his daughter, “I think this one is different.”

“What is different?” Zuko demands, worriedly seeing the way Sokka’s body language is not good.

There’s a permanent snarl shaping his usual sarcastic smirk, an uncomfortable tremble in his muscles like there is energy unable to escape, and in the low campfire light, Zuko could barely see the blue of Sokka’s eyes.

A heavy scent of ink is in the air and it is overwhelming.

Zuko realizes it the second before Chit Sang opens his mouth.

“It’s like I said on the ride here. An alpha trying to protect his two omegas, I thought for sure he’d be in a rut.”

A harsh snap runs through Sokka’s form and he lunges in Zuko’s direction. Hakoda interferes and needs Katara’s help at holding the young alpha in place. Sokka keeps trying to buck out of their grip, his eyes targeted on Zuko.

Chit Sang returns Zuko back behind him and frowns, “I guess he couldn’t control it anymore.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm a sucker for fics where Chit Sang is somehow related to the 41st Division. And fics where Aang finds about the whole Roku grandpa thing, the best! I am also a sucker for people (SOKKA) getting into a protective rage over someone (ZUKO) they care about. 
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	11. Spectrum of Instincts

Omegas go into heats only when they feel safe, surrounded by trusted pack.

At the opposite end of the spectrum, Alphas go into ruts when they believe their pack is in danger.

It’s why commanders love to put alphas in the front lines, provoke them into going feral against the enemies.

Feral Alphas in ruts become near impossible to control.

Zuko has heard the tall tales of this stuff, both has spooky war stories or as revered history lessons. He always imagined it as some sort of spirit possession, where the alpha just loses control in a fit of rage and would attack blindly.

That depiction is wrong as Sokka stops struggling in his father’s hold. He evens out his breath, appearing collected and calming down. Hakoda relaxes his grip just a little bit and Sokka surprises him by elbowing the man in the gut.

Hakoda goes down but Katara is immediately on her brother. In quick, fluid, and calculated movements the siblings constantly try to pin the other down until eventually Katara bends ice to freeze Sokka’s feet. She still tries to pin an arm behind his back but Sokka keeps thrashing at her.

“Katara, keep him steady,” Hakoda is back up and grabbing at Sokka’s other arm. The son nearly headbutts his chin, “Chit Sang, get everyone out now!”

“Wait, I think Zuko can help him,” Suki insists and honestly Zuko has no clue why she has any faith in him.

Aang agrees with her, “Yeah, Sokka’s last rut wasn’t good. It didn’t sooth out his instincts.”

Insulted, Katara shouts, “I helped him last time!” She raises a hand engulfed with healing water, “This worked just fine!” 

“But Katara, that was about Yue.” At that name, Aang winces and they all see Sokka tense up. Aang reaffirms his gaze, serious and commanding as any pack leader, “Zuko is here, please let him help.”

As nearly everyone turns their eyes on him, Zuko tries not to shutter out that he has no idea on how to help.

The guard in front of him levels Zuko with a patient look.

Chit Sang sighs deeply, “The kid’s in a tunnel vision, you get that?” Zuko nods, he spent years on a one track mind to hunt the Avatar. “Okay so you’re his tunnel vision. You gotta keep his mind on you as you pull him out. Ready for this, Prince Zuko?”

Hearing that title again makes this sound like a mission.

If he can help Sokka break in and out of a highly secure prison, Zuko can help Sokka with this rut.

Zuko walks pass his guard, slowly approaching the alphas. Sokka’s eyes are glued to him, eerily focused but the rest of him is a mess. He’s twitching and shaking and impatient to move because that’s what alphas in ruts do.

They fight and attack and they don’t stop until there are no more threats.

So Zuko doesn’t know what Sokka is so pent up about. The others think that Sokka has been delaying the full force of the rut, probably been stockpiling since the prison heist, but only now after learning about Zuko’s scar does Sokka enter the thick of it.

Hakoda slowly releases his son but his feet are still in ice. Zuko tries not to notice Katara frowning at him but when he nods Katara moves a hand and Sokka is freed.

“Hey buddy,” is all Zuko gets out before the alpha pounces on him.

Thankfully they’re still on their feet, Zuko barely stopping their fall as Sokka cups his face. He glowers at the scar.

“He did this to you,” Sokka rumbles lowly, “and your sister hurt Suki and wanted to treat you the same way.”

“I’m fine. Suki and I are okay now.” Zuko remembers the important point of heats and ruts, “we’re safe, Sokka.”

Maybe it really was a delayed thing, that Sokka couldn’t take the risk of going into a rut during the prison break and so held it at bay. A fierce tremble passes through Sokka and he looks so tired and mad and unsatisfied.

Sokka is left with no one to fight and he knows that.

“I’m right here Sokka, me and your pack.” 

At that last word, the alpha slots his face underneath Zuko’s chin. Lips press against the base of his throat and he feels every word of, “I won’t let anyone hurt you.”

When Zuko said ‘me and your pack,’ he meant it as two separate things. He may have pack bonded with Aang and Toph but he didn’t want the others to bond with him through obligation. But after what he and Sokka have been through and the other days where they just awkwardly started to get along, Zuko feels like he can easily accept this.

Zuko slowly guides Sokka’s head back up, his fingers treading through the soft short hair, and Zuko lightly presses their foreheads together.

An immediate soothing burn flows between them and Sokka is less aggravated.

“You did your thing Sparky,” Toph said and he has no idea when she got so close, “now it’s my turn.”

In early studies, people didn’t know what a Beta would have. Heats and ruts are a raw emotional dive for Omegas and Alphas. Betas didn’t experience any of that. Instead they nullified the intensities of the others’ cycles.

Sokka makes a noise in protest as Zuko untangles them and lets Toph step in.

Toph placed her hands on Sokka’s face and finally Sokka takes his eyes off of Zuko and shuts down.

“Toph, can you take him to a room?” Katara asks. She’s in doctor mode as she places a hand over Sokka’s heart, “Hmm, Aang, there’s a jug over there. Fill it with cold water. Suki, are you okay with staying close to him? It should help.”

The omega complies, lifting Sokka’s arm over her shoulders to walk him out, but she nods at Zuko, “Don’t you think Zuko should come too?”

He speaks up too, “Yeah, I think-“

“I think you’ve done enough to my family.”

Katara didn’t even look at him, collecting Aang’s jug and Sokka’s sleeping bag. She walks ahead to the temple rooms and sends them a look that she won’t budge on the matter. Suki and Aang cast Zuko apologetic looks and Toph pats Sokka’s arm before following Katara out.

Zuko releases a breath he didn’t know he was holding.

“Geeze,” Chit Sang clicks his tongue, “tough crowd.”

“Katara’s nice,” The Duke said, shuffling back to the fire with a loud yawn, “but she can get grumpy.”

“Only because of me,” Zuko sighs, feeling boneless after everything.

“Hey maybe you should do a prison break with her. That’ll forge friendships,” Haru lightheartedly suggested as he picks up The Duke.

The earthbender and Teo say their goodnights and head off to their own sleeping quarters. Zuko follows their lead but someone calls his name.

Chief Hakoda looks as tried as Zuko feels. His son went into a rut and his daughter has all the plans to handle it. Sokka said that their dad missed out on them growing up. Earlier the man explained that alphas innately want to feel in control.

The alpha before him looks a bit helpless.

Hakoda gratefully smiles at Zuko, “Thank you for helping Sokka. Also don’t mind what Katara said, I’m sure Sokka still needs you.”

Zuko forces down the urge to run away, so he’s left to squirm a little, “He has Suki and the others.”

“He’ll need his pack and that includes you,” Hakoda lifts up a hand, likely to do a parental shoulder squeeze but that possibility doesn’t register in Zuko’s head.

The moment Zuko saw the movement, he nearly jumped. He backed to get a foot distance away and Zuko’s heart is racing.

He trusts Sokka and his love for his family but Zuko still can’t shake off the resurfaced memories of the Agni Kai. 

There’s no room for shame in flinching as old terror and burning flares inside Zuko.

“I’m so sorry.” Hakoda’s voice is far away from Zuko’s mind.

He nods numbly and quickly leaves. Zuko barely hears the chieftain and Chit Sang talk about him, about his father and the scar. The omega paces quickly to his room and tosses his body into the blankets.

Everything in his life is deeply woven with the pain and suffering his family has caused. Be it the origins of the hundred year war to his father’s Agni Kai or even Azula hunting down the friends Zuko has made.

Azula’s rage pounds guilt into him. She accurately blames him for Ursa’s sacrifice and now for Mai and Ty Lee disappearing during the invasion. He doesn’t know why the girls fled but if Azula can’t find them then good.

As for Zuko’s own sacrifices, after years of believing everything he touches burns, he learns about what really happened to the 41st Division.

Destiny lead Zuko to meet the Avatar and in this path does Zuko encounter people connected the Zuko’s first act of honor. It’s the circle of life and fate, all bound together.

Honestly this is all way too much to unravel in one night. So Zuko buries himself in his nest and finally closes his eyes.

There’s a difference between sleeping and nesting. Sleeping will always be about relieving exhaustion or having nothing else to do, a foreign concept to Zuko. Nesting slowly became just Zuko becoming aware of where he is and question if he is safe.

He should know he is, now that he’s a part of a pack. Zuko still doesn’t know what that entails but he trusts Aang and Toph a lot more than he used to. Originally Zuko did trust Sokka but only to the extension of the other’s sake.

Before Zuko didn’t think Sokka would care about Zuko’s wellbeing.

Now Sokka pack bonded with him and promised to he won’t get hurt.

Zuko knows that eventually he’ll hurt again in whatever matter but the fact that Sokka meant it and during his rut, it feels important and heavy.

He hopes that he could be a good pack member.

At the same time he doesn’t want to step on Katara’s toes.

Through the next few days, Zuko pointedly doesn’t ask how Sokka is doing because Katara will not meet his eyes. It’s easier to just move along with training the Avatar. That is his job after all, he shouldn’t get distracted.

At some point though, firebending practice lingers a little longer than usual for Zuko to run into Sokka and Suki at the training grounds.

After all, ruts are meant to turn alphas into driven fighters.

Zuko barely has time to say anything to Sokka when Katara enters and tells Zuko that Toph needs him for something.

Sokka glares at his sister and Suki just looks annoyed. As for Zuko he just obeys to get away from this tension. He hears Suki start training hand to hand combat as he leaves the area, profusely trying not to wilt under Katara’s gaze.

There’s been this edged and tense air between him and the waterbender ever since she threatened him on the first day. Or perhaps it dates back to the day Aang returned to the waking world. Either way it wedges apart this pack Zuko is slowly inviting into his nest.

Okay so it’s just Aang and Toph who joins his nest but after another one of Katara silently persuading him away, Zuko kind of wants to be alone this time.

He just didn’t expect to scent lemongrass reaching his room.

Suki pops her head into the doorway, “Hey, just wanted to check on you. Everything okay?”

He shrugs and that is a lame answer so he changes priorities, “Is Sokka alright?”

“Yeah, sparring is helping him out,” Suki doesn’t move from her spot, just casually leaning against the wall. “I think he misses sword fighting with you though.”

Zuko does too, not that he’ll say that out loud because then it’ll be in the open and Katara might hear about it. He doesn’t want that.

“You’re taking care of him so that should be enough, right?”

She nods with a frown, “Right but…” Her eyes wander around his room, to the sheathed swords to Uncle’s portrait and lastly to his bag, “Hey do you have a shirt I can borrow?”

“Um, yes?”

“Cool, scent it for me.”

Suki has been wearing her prisoner garb since the gang thought they’d stop traveling after the invasion. Zuko was the only one fortunate with time to pack clothes and supplies.

He gets out of his bed and grabs a spare shirt. Like with his nest, he lets his scent drown the cloth by pressing it against his neck. Once he’s done, Suki happily slips it on. Her scent of lemongrass feels fresher, brighter even.

“Thanks Zuko,” she said and as he’s distracted by how nice their combined scents are, Suki leans over to brush their foreheads together.

The omega is left stunned in his room, slowly processing that an ink scent was on her too and now she’s carrying his scent over to Sokka.

Huh.

Um.

So Katara might get angry about this.

Zuko’s gonna go cocoon himself with blankets, his nest is the one place Katara won’t invade.

And if he enjoys the lingering scents of lemongrass and ink, well he’ll keep that to himself and his nest.

But as luck will have it, another person decides to check on him because of care over his wellbeing, another foreign concept.

“Hey Zuko,” Aang greets and sits on the corner of the bed, waiting to be invited.

“What do you want?”

“To know if you’re doing alright.”

“I’m fine, you can leave.”

“But you’re not fine.”

“What, can you detect me lying like Toph now?”

“No but I’m getting the hang of it.” His tone goes into sadness and guilt, “Also I know that you get sad when Katara gets like that.”

Zuko takes a deep breath. There’s no use in both of them being sad. He tugs around with the blankets and silently beckons Aang in. Nesting with Aang is a little odd since he lacks a scent but in this case it just helps Zuko focus on the ink and lemongrass.

That fact does not go unnoticed.

“Did you and Suki pack bond just now?”

“No, just regular scenting. It was for Sokka.” Zuko is thankful for Aang’s small stature. They’re just lying on their sides and the other boy is facing away from him. Aang doesn’t see Zuko’s nervously bit his lip, “Did I mess Sokka up?”

“No, of course not.”

“But he went into rut because of me.”

Aang is quiet for a while until finally he explains, “Sokka’s last rut was delayed too. He just bottled up his grief about Yue until we got lost in the swamp.”

Uncle told him what happened in the North Pole. Zuko wouldn’t have believed it if not for witnessing how the moon became bloody red and the rest of the world lost its color.

Spirit world deals will always be a mind boggling thing and for this to happen right in front of Sokka, it’s surreal and emotional.

(And Zuko responded with _‘that’s rough, buddy’_ )

“Oh,” Zuko says in the present day, burying his awkwardness into the pillows. “He still thinks about her.”

Aang laughed softly, “Yeah I think we all do since we see her every night. She’s really nice, helps me out too.”

“Well yeah,” he agreed, thinking factually, “Yue did cause the solar eclipse.”

Aang slumped down a bit. Okay so Zuko shouldn’t have reminded them of their failure. It’s usually Aang that likes to cuddle so in an apologetic manner, Zuko wraps the Avatar in his arms in a loose hug.

“We always saw the good things of the moon,” Aang continued, “It’s Yue and the first waterbender. That’s all we wanted to know but then we met this old waterbender. She… she did bad things under the moonlight and she cornered Katara to do something she didn’t want to do.”

As vague as this is, Zuko guessed, “Did Katara go into a rut?”

The boy shifts around to hug Zuko and mumbles against his shoulder, “It was scary.”

Katara as she already is scares Zuko. He can’t imagine how scarier she could get.

He hopes he doesn’t find out but life never goes with his wishes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now is a good time to add in the angst tag. Oh and also the zukki tag. I think zukka and zukki are great but that's not the main focus of the story so far in my writings. 
> 
> Fun ship stuff will pop around here and there but the angst train is about to depart soon. 
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	12. Desperate Rain

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> guess what hamiliton song i was listening to when writing this

Azula finds them.

Because of course she does.

Everyone’s camping out in the main temple area when the walls start rumbling and the horrific creaks of metal rises and smoke consumes the morning fog of the valley. The ruins are bombarded with fire ordered by none other than Zuko’s sister, shouting early celebration to be an only child.

Harsh.

Zuko barely pays attention to the others making their escape plan to split off and he’s sure there is a lot of hugging goodbye. It’s just another family separating due to the war his family thrives from. The prince wants this to end already.

The temple structure is getting unstable and if Zuko doesn’t do something soon they all might get trapped in the collapsing rubble.

He takes one step forward, ready to do a running jump over to the closest airship when a hand grabs his arm back.

“Let me go, Chit Sang.”

“You always sacrifice yourself for others,” the older firebender remarks and he is smiling but there’s worry in his eyes, “Don’t die, My Prince.”

Zuko nods at the former guardsman as he lets him go. He immediately sprints off, ignoring Aang calling out to him, and heads off to fight Azula.

She has that same mocking grin from before but it feels more unhinged. Her fire is more reckless, burning hotter, and Azula must be determined to truly losing a sibling.

In their last collide, the sky envelops them. Angry wind is doing nothing to slow his decent and all Zuko sees is more chunks of the temple exploding. That’s when Appa is flying under him and Katara is pulling him onto the saddle.

He looks behind them and Zuko loses his breath when he sees his little sister in freefall.

For a moment he thinks she’s not going to make it but she does.

_Because of course she does._

It’s Azula.

She has always been so full of flawless determination and ferocity. Most of all, Azula was composed and walked as if the world always turned for her. On the rare occasion when things do go according to her plans, she does whatever it takes to get her ending.

So seeing her by herself, Mai and Ty Lee gone, Zuko knows Azula is constantly course correcting new strategies in her head to still get whatever she wants. Back in the Boiling Rock’s interrogation room, what Azula wants is to blame all of her suffering on him.

He can’t remember the last time Azula was ever angry at him.

Displeased, annoyed, and smug, yeah that he can easily recall.

Rage was always Zuko’s thing. He never dared imagine Azula losing her temper up until she screeched how he is responsible for Mom’s absence.

(She probably even meant the time _before_ Ursa left the palace)

It feels like whiplash when not even a day later, another girl is angry at him.

Katara clearly hasn’t been happy when one by one her pack is accepting Zuko. The omega made small attempts to get along with her but none measure up to her barrier.

Aang and the others may say that Katara will eventually come around but he doubts that. He really needs face the music of his consequences. 

So at their current campsite, Zuko follows after the waterbender to a cliff view. He is very aware of the possibility of her using the ocean to pick him up and launch him into the depths.

His frustration and impatient rises up as he voices her unfair aggression at him.

He sacrificed his old life to be here, risked a trial by fire with Aang before dragons, supported Sokka on a risky rescue mission, and Toph… well they haven’t had a life changing adventure yet but she was the first person to trust him.

Katara tells him how wrong he is, how she trusted him first back in Ba Sing Se.

She’s right.

In their time in the crystal caverns, Zuko was out of sorts with himself. He was plagued with dreams feeding off of his morals, confronted with Azula and her promise of home and conclusion, and Zuko picked the path that killed Aang.

But there’s another thing on Katara’s list of grievances.

Once again, a furious girl is blaming Zuko for the loss of a mother.

She sounds so much like Azula. Her eyes even hold that same disgust but it mirrors the Azula who’s yelling about her friends disappearing.

“You’re burning,” he realizes.

Katara raises an annoyed brow at him, “Oh, am I on fire? I’m not aware of it!”

“No I mean,” Zuko wants to smack his forehead before he could make things worse, “A person can burn up with just their emotions.”

“Yeah, you do that all the time.”

It is an accurate jab but Zuko continues, “This burning is fueled from rage and grief with no outlet.”

She narrows her eyes at him and takes slow measured steps closer. An instinctive alarm in Zuko’s head is warning him that he isn’t safe. He has been nesting too much, too nuzzled into the idea of the possibility of safety that he almost felt relaxed.

But in reality Zuko knows he couldn’t feel safe with the gang when Katara’s threats linger in the dark.

It looks like she’s ready to go against her promise. She doesn’t need to wait for him to mess up and hurt Aang. His past actions are more than enough of a justification if Katara decides to attack him right here and now.

Zuko stays frozen in place.

(He’s not sure if begging for mercy would work a second time)

Katara stands right in front of him, glaring, “No outlet, huh. If you come up with a decent idea, I _might_ consider it.”

She walks off.

Zuko releases the breath he was holding.

Okay so he survived a one on one talk with Katara.

That wasn’t so bad.

His knees are bit wobbly as he makes his way back to the tents. He needs to press on and gets some information. Zuko hopes he doesn’t ruin whatever friendship he has with Sokka by asking for an emotionally heavy backstory.

There’s a dim light beyond the tent’s cloth so at least that means Sokka’s awake.

“Sokka, it’s me,” Zuko greets as he lifts the tent flap, mid crouch to step in the opening but instantly freezes up. His breath is lodged in his throat again.

Sokka’s hair is let down.

So is Suki’s.

Lit candles set a romantic lighting, creating a red tinted glow from the many petals scattered around the couple.

The pair is nestled together. Suki has her legs propped over Sokka’s lap while he rests his head on her shoulder. Her hands are playing with his hair, longer than Zuko imagined, and Sokka is cradling her waist.

Also Suki is still wearing Zuko’s shirt.

“Zuko!” Sokka sits up straight, a weird twitchy smile that conveyed a lot of awkwardness, “Hi, um, yeah,” his eyes darts to Suki who is grinning, “Yeah, come in.”

A part of Zuko wants to dive into the ocean. Despite the obvious context, the couple’s intimacy is rather innocent and above all, warmer during the invitation.

He, an idiot, listens to the gut instinct of ‘sure this is fine’ and accepts Sokka’s and Suki’s invite. Zuko sits crossed legged a foot away from them, keeping his hands on his knees so he won’t fidget or anything.

“Are you sure?” He asks even though the more he stays, the more the scents are getting to him, making him hesitant to leave, “You just got out of your rut.”

Zuko hasn’t actually talked to Sokka since his rut began. It doesn’t feel right to only come to learn something for Katara.

“I’m fine,” Sokka assures, losing any previous unease.

“Is there something you need Zuko?” Suki asks and she’s still playing with Sokka’s hair. Zuko can’t help but stare.

He clenches his fists, pulling himself together. Zuko’s not here to get distracted by the sights or the smells or the warmth, he’s here to understand Katara’s anger towards him.

“I need to figure out a way to help Katara grieve.” He locks eyes with Sokka and the boy instantly gets it. “I’m sorry to ask but please, will you tell me what happened to your mother?”

“It’s not a story I like to remember.”

Sokka tells it anyway, trusting both Zuko and Suki to listen to his crying heart. Throughout the story, Suki held Sokka to her, letting Sokka’s scent capture both omegas. Zuko can’t remember seeing an alpha be so vulnerable.

There was that beach trip where Ty Lee opened up on her frustrations but she kept her scent to herself. For Sokka, it is a heavy emotional moment and Zuko scoots closer to rest a hand on Sokka’s arm.

At the end, Zuko got his clue of red raider flag.

His brain is already formulating a risky idea so he says his thanks and is about to crawl out. A strong hand slips into his own, stopping him.

Zuko tries not to shiver as Sokka traces a thumb over his knuckles.

The alpha stares at him with a longing Zuko doesn’t know the depths of. The omega next to him mirrors the same emotion as Sokka begs a word no one has ever asked Zuko.

“Stay?”

It’s tempting, tugging at his heartstrings and it sounds like the best idea ever and Zuko never thought he’d feel an actual desire to stay and nest and…

Oh.

Zuko can’t muster up the courage to say no so he shakes his head. Whatever reaction Sokka and Suki has, he doesn’t want to know as he quickly ducks out of the warm tent. He still feels warm and bright and fuzzy and…

Oh _no_ , this can’t be.

And yet as Zuko sits in front of Katara’s tent, bracing the chilling night air, he still feels warm.

It’s a slow aching feeling in him that relaxes his body and stockpiles warmth in his gut.

Zuko is in preheat.

This is definitely _not_ the best timing for what he has planned.

Last heat was spent in fevering confusion, exiled and on the run. He had just escaped Azula’s clutches and only had Uncle with him. Zuko was so oblivious to the fact that he always felt safe with Uncle.

Now, oh spirits, he’s been nesting and pack bonding and he’s attempting to patch things up with an alpha he wronged and he just stepped out of a nest with an alpha and an omega that _maybe_ he grew a little too attached to and…

Spirits, why is Zuko’s life like this?

He’s ripped out of his thoughts when Katara steps out of tent. It’s daylight now.

“So did you think of an ‘outlet’ for my ‘burning’ yet?”

“I can help you find the man who murdered your mother.”

Katara is stunned for two seconds and narrows her eyes, “Alright, explain and let’s pack up.”

They do and Katara is absolutely determined to do this.

Her brother and best friend, yeah, not so much.

“This is your idea of helping her grieve?” Sokka is rightfully upset at Zuko and he endures the guilt and burning for betraying Sokka’s vulnerability.

Katara on the other hand doesn’t show much remorse or hesitation. Stone faced, she says almost too casually, “What, you can join if you want.”

Behind them, Aang is aghast and looks ready to intervene if necessary.

But Sokka keeps his head leveled and refuses, “Katara, I’m not going on some revenge quest.”

“You went on one for dad!”

“Yes and we barely made it out!” Sokka doesn’t lose his composure but his voice is both strong and mad, “We were lucky and it was a rescue mission not some hunt.”

“You’re right,” she mutters low, walking around her brother to the bison, “maybe this is a hunt.”

Aang blocks her path, “Revenge is not the solution. I understand you’re feeling unbearable pain and rage.”

The four of them go back and forth on this. It’s a clear divide but Zuko and Katara are serious on the matter. It’s not like Zuko could go after his father to avenge his mother and other victims.

Katara can get closure and justice and if that’s in the form of revenge, so what.

The world can be terrible and cruel and Zuko is allowed to hate it and Katara is allowed to hate it more.

Maybe he’s still burning, letting Katara find a solution to her pain through the burning that Zuko knows well.

The argument ends with Aang talking about forgiveness.

What a laughable idealism.

He asked his father for forgiveness and it was meaningless and nothing.

Zuko follows after Katara when she declares how forgiveness is impossible.

They agree to get Appa at night. Before then, Zuko needs to deal with any signs of his heat.

“So you’re gonna sneak off with Katara against Aang’s and Sokka’s advice,” Toph summarized. “Cool.”

The two are in her rock hut, both hiding from the others and for Zuko to do a small but efficient nest to calm and dull down his upcoming heat.

“It’s not as bad as it sounds,” Zuko said, letting his chin prop on top of Toph’s head.

“It sounds terrible. I mean, it’s great that you and Katara are finally on speaking terms and it’s another life changing adventure but…” She leans back in Zuko’s loose hug, “Just stay safe okay?”

Zuko really doesn’t want another fight and he’s glad that Toph doesn’t either.

He and Katara are capable benders and their quest is amoral at best. There’s no backing out as it gets darker and so Zuko leaves Toph in his small nest.

Hopefully her beta scent nulled any preheating instincts and since he’s about to tread dangerous waters, that will surely further prevent any heat fever. It is best if he doesn’t bring any attention to this but as he and Katara load Appa up, Aang and Sokka confront them one last time.

“It’s okay because I forgive you,” Aang cutely tries another shot of monk wisdom, “Does that give you any ideas?”

“Don’t try to stop us,” Katara warns.

“I wasn’t planning to,” He says and he goes on about how he sees Katara’s need for closure yet desperately wishes to convince her of forgiveness.

Meanwhile, Sokka goes to Zuko.

“Please take care of each other,” he begs with a heaviness that clutches into Zuko’s gut. He’s still unhappy about this all, especially since this is about his little sister.

Zuko wonders if this is how siblings care about each other, trusting them one another even when they’re separated.

He brushes away his thoughts to nod at Sokka. Also because Zuko is a reckless fool, he presses his forehead to Sokka and later Aang.

That is apparently a mistake because Aang instantly concludes panicky, “Your heat is coming!” 

Aang probably picked up the fact that Zuko does not initiate omega touchy feely stuff outside of his nest. Huh, Aang must know him more than he thought.

“Um,” Zuko gulps and scrambles to climb aboard the saddle, “Don’t worry about it.”

“Too late,” Sokka calls, concern written all over him, “I’m worrying about it.”

Katara stares at the omega, thinking deeply and it’s like she’s calculating if this is a good idea. Finally she decides, “If you say so.” She grabs the reins, “Yip yip!” 

Things play out according to plan. Gathering intelligence and locating the Southern Raiders’ route. It goes smoothly because apparently he and Katara are a good team.

It’s nothing like Sokka’s recalibrating strategies or Aang’s optimism combined with innate wisdom. Katara is unbelievably skilled and adaptable and full of determinism.

All of it is highlighted as they approach the ship’s control room and…

The captain’s body contorts unnaturally in sharp angles. The room feels colder and an uncomfortable buzz is warning Zuko that something truly dangerous is next to him.

There’s no time to unpack that as they realize they’ve been chasing the wrong man. They get directions to the retired captain.

On the way there, Zuko hesitantly asks, “What… was that?”

“Bloodbending,” she states with an uncaring simplicity.

Zuko remembers what Aang said, that Katara was cornered to do something she didn’t want to do. He didn’t dare imagine what that would entail but he never considered it be something more devastating than lightning.

To bend lightning needs a clear mind, a state that Azula has achieved.

Bloodbending is technique that appears just as demanding to the mind, a new definition to utter control.

Katara is scarier than Azula.

He wishes he could stop comparing the two girls but he can’t. Both have bottled anger, their lost mothers taking claim as the biggest impact.

As he accompanies Katara to the quiet uphill village and targets the old man Katara confirms to be the monster to her story, Zuko still doesn’t stop to question if this is a good idea.

They’re reaching the end.

Zuko knows what Katara is feeling as they tail the man. It’s that same feeling he got when he captured Aang at the North Pole. It’s an edge of fulfilling a long-awaited need, for hunting or succeeding or just plain and bloody satisfaction.

His old mission was misguided at the source. In his head, Zuko is trying to justify Katara’s mission.

It is closure and justice. It is payback and vengeance. It is just an outlet of burning because Katara has been burning _way longer_ than Zuko.

Zuko’s tale is sad and painful but so are others who have suffered in so many different ways.

Like Azula.

She must be burning too.

And Zuko can’t help her. Their siblinghood is nearly nonexistent. He can try and help Katara instead.

At the moment of truth, the peak of Katara’s burning rage, and the sharpest display of her power and control, she lets go.

The old man is left in the rain, still breathing.

Zuko later takes Appa’s reins and lead them to the nearest empty shore. Ironically that shore belongs to Ember Island. He didn’t think he would ever come back here. It’s not a bad spot to hide out either so he’ll save that thought for later.

Right now, Katara is walking through the sandy beach until the waters are lapping up her knees. He assumes she wants to be alone and of course he’ll respect her wishes. That’s when Katara turns around and there are tears in her eyes.

“I’m still burning.”

Her voice cracks and it’s like she is aware of it now. Katara understands the burning and how awful and haunting it is.

Zuko crosses the water to her, “I’m so sorry. This was a stupid, terrible idea. I should’ve listened to Aang but I just…”

He huffs a breath full of frustration, thinking about the real issue he has been suppressing. 

Before he failed at being an obedient son or an excellent firebender or a loyal prince, there was another thing he was bad at.

“I just wanted to be to a good older brother for once.”

It must be truly awful of Zuko to subconsciously use Katara’s issues to feel better about his greatest dishonor. He knows he looks miserable and pathetic as Katara just moves over to be right in front of him.

They’re in her element, the cold waves surrounding their legs and yet there are two infernos. 

“You took me on a hunt to find the man who murdered my mother.” For all the times that statement is said out loud, Katara’s devastated and broken accusation is what gets Zuko to wince.

_Why is Zuko so bad at being good?_

He expects Katara to just let the ocean swallow him. Zuko corrupted her morality, the same way he has been slowly intergrading himself into her pack.

Instead she closes her eyes with shame and self-accountability, “And I _agreed._ I spat in Sokka’s face and devalued his love for Mom. Spirits, I’m a terrible younger sister too.”

“You’re not Azula,” he smiles weakly and honestly confesses, “I’m so happy you’re you, Katara.”

“Me too, I’m sorry I almost became like her.”

Zuko doesn’t know if Azula has ever killed anyone out of revenge. Sure he can unflinchingly believe she has the desire and will to murder others but for the motivation of revenge, not so. Then again, if there’s anyone Azula would kill out of revenge it would be him.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t help you.”

She shakes her head, “I think I get it now, how I’m burning. I really have been burning, so much so that I just got used to it.”

“It’s hard to ignore it now that you’re aware.”

She pleads, “How do you deal with this?”

He doesn’t know so instead he answers, “Burning is a part of me, both good and bad sides of the flame.”

“Sometimes it feels like my blood is freezing.” Katara faces the ocean again and hugs herself, “I was so scared of bending after I learned bloodbending.” Fear and regret rises in her voice, “I’m terrified of it but I still did it because I wanted to hurt someone.” Her shoulders shake and she never looked so helpless before as she whispers, “I want to stop hurting.”

Zuko walks to her right side, “I couldn’t bend after I got my scar.” He stares straight at the horizon, where the sun peaks over the ocean, “I couldn’t see clearly either or scent my own scent.”

“I used to have snow in mine,” Katara reveals, “It was cool and earthy but then it became ice. It scents like nothing only to make everything about me pure salt water.”

“It can change again,” he assures.

For a moment, she’s caught in hope and despair. He doesn’t blame her worry, if her identity changes for better or for worse. Eventually something solidifies in her mind because she smiles.

“I think I’m ready to forgive you, Zuko.”

Forgiveness, he can imagine that.

It’s like they were never enemies by how they easily slide into each other’s arms, her head at his neck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In an earlier note, I mentioned that this arc was tricky for me. It's mostly because I had to understand why Zuko thought MURDER was a good bonding activity. So I went with the angle of him encouraging Katara to be hellbent on doing whatever she wants. Add in some Azula parallels and ta da! 
> 
> On a smaller note, oh boy that zukki tent scene! I had to take a pause after those two lines about their hair because I was being a disaster alongside Zuko. 
> 
> Anyway, yeah! Katara's bonded with him! But it's not over yet. 
> 
> Zuko still needs to ask Aang an important question.
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	13. New Heat

_What are you gonna do when you face my father?_

Zuko desperately wants to ask Aang that. Sozin’s Comet is on its way and they shouldn’t stop training the Avatar to go against the Fire Lord.

It will be the hardest challenge Aang will have to face. It is his destiny.

Zuko would love more than anything to get Aang to understand that violence is a necessity in these times but he can’t.

The moment Zuko got the rest of the gang on Ember Island, his heat started.

At least he’s not feverish. So Zuko could at least coach the Avatar from the sidelines. Zuko really would like to use his time efficiently before the roughest parts of his heat takes over but he’s stopped by the most stubborn alpha ever.

Katara has gone into full on pack mother mode after talking with Aang. Maybe Zuko shouldn’t have pack bonded with her. That way he could be able to leave the house. 

The Ember Island vacation house is exactly how Zuko left. It’s lonely and there are some dust marks outlining the paintings that used to hang. He didn’t burn all of the family portraits, just the ones that felt wrong.

In a hallway is a self-portrait of his mother.

Last time here, Zuko wouldn’t dare look in that hallway. He was angry at himself for disappointing her. A part of him is still burning even after joining the Avatar team.

“She’s beautiful,” a soft voice joins Zuko’s side.

“This is my mom,” he tells Suki.

“I can see where your good looks come from.”

Zuko laughs weakly, “I guess. She said that I have her dad’s nose.”

Suki turns to him, “Is she alive?”

There is a long list of people Zuko believed were dead. Many names of young soldiers have been rectified to be surviving as deserters. Chit Sang had hope for the 41st Division despite the odds. To think he almost didn’t escape the Boiling Rock with Zuko and Sokka.

“I believe so,” Zuko said. “She has to be.”

They’re quiet for a bit until Suki starts to say, “Zuko, I think I need to tell you some-“

“There you are!” Katara scolds and Zuko kind of wants to run away.

Sure he was scared before they became friends but now he doesn’t know how to deal with Katara being so caring and motherly.

Seriously, she pulls him over to the main lounge and he sees Aang and Sokka hauling in armfuls of newly brought pillows and blankets. Zuko is getting flashbacks to Mai’s helpfully throwing softness at his head.

He thought that they were only going to town get supplies and new disguises which they did. They’re all decked out in reds and oranges. At least Toph’s haul is the groceries.

So back with Katara who is blinking expectantly.

“Um, why?”

Suki is back at his side, giggling, “This is so cute.”

Katara gestured wildly to the luxurious beach villa they’re in, “You said you use loads of palace quality blankets.”

Did he? Well technically that is true but no matter how comfy the nest was, it didn’t feel right. His recent nests with just a single sheet and the others’ scents made Zuko feel more than he ever knew.

That being said, he’s not used to Katara yet.

So Zuko can’t help but ask, “Katara, why are you acting so weird?”

“It’s cause she feels guilty for treating you like dirt.”

For once Katara doesn’t complain about Toph’s rude bluntness.

She tucks a long lock of hair behind her ear and faces Zuko, “I really was terrible to you.”

“It’s fine.”

“No it’s not,” Katara shakes her head. “I could’ve just settled with ignoring or tolerating you but I forced you away from everyone when I could.”

Zuko reaches over to hold her hand, “If you can forgive me for everything then I can forgive you too.”

“Does that mean we can put this away now?” Aang asks, his head barely peaking over the stack of pillows.

The many nesting supplies get dumped into Zuko’s room and he’ll fix the details later. He feels the low embers of heat in his body but it’s not clouding his head. The whole point of a heat is to be resting but Zuko feels too active to nest.

It takes Toph and Sokka distracting Katara for Zuko to sneak off to train Aang.

“Are you sure you should be firebending right now?” The Avatar asks, following Zuko’s motion for the next kata.

“I’m fine. I want you to learn the next two sets before I can’t teach you.” If Aang gets this set then he’ll have more stamina and be more prepared for fire breathing exercises.

“So more homework? I thought this was a vacation house.”

“Thirty hot squats, right now.”

“Yes Sifu Hotman.”

“Stop calling me that.”

Zuko gets ignored but fine.

Aang gets the lesson down by the time Katara finds them and lectures about overtraining. She easily shoves them to the kitchen where the others are preparing lunch. This section of the villa is actually for the servants, a bit quainter and small but much more humble. Zuko definitely prefers this small wooden table over any gigantic glass dining table.

“Are you trying to overheat?” Katara scolds and immediately a pitcher of iced melon juice is in front the sweaty pair.

“I’m a firebender,” he excused, not watching how Aang nearly overfills their cups, “I naturally run hotter than you all.”

“You sure do,” Suki cheers teasingly, poking Sokka in the side. The alpha almost chokes on his stir-fry.

“Look, I just don’t want you to get fever heated,” Katara sighs, finally losing the harsh pinches in her expressions. “Heats are a big deal.”

“They are?” Toph asks between bites of a meat bun. “You guys do know I’m more knowledgeable about water than omegas.”

“What do you know about water?” checks Sokka.

“Water is wet.”

“ _Is_ it though?”

“Don’t make me hit you Sokka,” warns the waterbender.

Zuko tries to answer the original question, “Uncle told me that heats are when omegas are their wisest. I think it’s about what I can identify as safety or dangers. Basically, my scent stockpiles into a calming atmosphere where I feel,” he shrugs, “relaxed or something.”

Before he would describe it as a numb feeling but that was when Zuko was in denial of his life. Azula told him omegas are supposed to feel gooey and protected.

Now that it’s clear that the people around Zuko aren’t super angry or disgusted by him, Zuko hopes this heat will ease his head.

(He doubts it)

“It can also be for the people around too,” Katara shares, “In the South Pole, it was the whole Tribe’s responsibility to make sure they were safe to nest. Because it was mostly women and children, we had this huge hut built for everyone to be in. It felt really nice for the whole community.”

“We kind of do the opposite on my island,” Suki explains, “It’s treated as a private thing. Only exclusive to whomever the omega invites.”

“So Sparky, what do you usually do?”

“Um, well for my last heat I got a fever.” He fails to mention he was also starving. “A village healer gave me a suppressant so it wasn’t that long. Uncle and I were traveling at the time so I didn’t nest much.”

“Okay,” Aang asked, “What about the one before that?”

“Um that’s it. This is my second heat.”

“Wait, you had plenty of time to have a heat at your palace though,” Sokka pointed out.

“Yeah but nesting didn’t work out. I tried nesting at Mai’s house and that was okay at least.”

“Ooh,” Toph extends with a grin, “You nested in someone’s house.”

“It’s not like that!” Zuko rubbed his forehead, “We’re just friends. Besides, nesting with her still didn’t work.”

“What about with us?”

He doesn’t hesitate in admitting, “With Mai, I wanted to make things work but I was already too different. Then Ty Lee tried to help me too but I was still so confused. So with you guys, it’s different in a good way. Like there’s less pressure or something.”

“Weren’t there others who tried to help you?” Suki asked. She is the only other omega here and Zuko will appreciate any of her insight. “Didn’t you have other friends?”

“No not really. I had my cousin Lu Ten but he had duties as the Crown Prince and then he died in the war. At first I didn’t get why he was so busy until I became Crown Prince and suddenly got a lot more studies and expectations.”

Sokka scratched his head, “Wait so Azula got friends and you didn’t?”

“People just assume responsibilities are more important than friendships,” Aang glumly replied, looking away from the group.

Zuko hates it when Aang gets all sad. All the duties and expectations of being the Avatar shouldn’t be carried on one boy’s shoulders. Yet Zuko still has to prepare him to face down the Fire Lord.

“Hey,” Zuko waits for Aang to fully face him, “I’m glad you guys are my first friends.”

That gets the airbender to smile warmly.

“That is so sad.”

“Toph!”

“If you didn’t interrupt me, Sugar Queen,” Toph crosses her arms in a huff, “you would’ve known I was gonna say ‘same.’ My parents kept me a secret and didn’t let me outside the property. You guys were the reasons I ran away.”

“Oh,” Katara withdraws her scolding to smile proudly, “That’s very empathic of you.”

“Yep,” she pops, “I think that’s enough emotions for right now. Sparky, wanna go to the nearest volcano?”

“Sure.”

She’s right, Zuko can only take so much feelings business before he gets overwhelmed.

Katara pinches the bridge of her nose, “I am not letting anyone go to a volcano.”

Zuko promptly gets shoved to his room. He had the forethought of asking Suki to join him because he’s still pretty clueless on this stuff. It’s one thing to have a fever and trust his Uncle. It feels entirely different to spend this heat in probably a healthier state of being.

“So you’ve nested before, yeah?” She assures him, “Just do whatever feels natural.”

With that blatant permission, Zuko unceremoniously flops into the many layered bed face first.

“Yeah, that works too.”

He lifts his head up to complain clearly, “I still don’t feel like nesting.”

“Alright,” Suki hops over and immediately narrows down what is bothering him, “What’s making you feel like you’re not safe?”

Furiously flopping over on his back, Zuko’s worries fire away, “My father plans to burn down the Earth Kingdom, I have to ask Aang what he’s prepared to do, Mai and Ty Lee left Azula and she will kill them after killing me, and I have no idea if Uncle wants to see me again.”

Zuko catches his breath and it doesn’t ease the burning in his muscles. Despite his fears and panic, his heat is beginning. Maybe it’s happening because his pack is here but that won’t let him feel peaceful. His head is burning with all the haunting unknowns of the world.

“Wow.”

He glares at the other omega. Thankfully she doesn’t take it personally. Somewhere in his ranting, Suki positioned Zuko to lay his head in her lap.

Suki looks down at him, “I’m guessing that this will all climax at the Comet?” He nods and his eyes flutter at the gentle touch of Suki brushing his bangs away. “That’s days away. We still have time to come up with a plan and win. You just have to trust your pack, Zuko.”

“You make it sound easy.” His voice shakes, “This is terrifying.”

“It is,” she agrees.

They don’t break eye contact so Zuko sees the many emotions passing through her. Fear, worry, and hope, it’s amazing to witness the strength of the omega holding him so sweetly.

He grows worry as she frowns.

“You once asked what Azula did to me.”

This does not bode well.

“She mostly talked.” A small chuckle fills the room, “Does she love the sound of her own voice?”

“Azula grew up reciting military victory lessons.” He remembers how she could answer anything just to boast hers and father’s image before their grandfather. “She’s a great public speaker. One on one though, depends on what she wants.”

“Information,” Suki answers and she looks away, “and if she’s not satisfied then she’ll beat me up.” The apology and concern is on the tip of his tongue but Suki lightly presses her fingers against his lips. She smiles assuring, “I’m fine and Katara healed me.”

“Still,” he mumbles against her fingers. He faintly tastes the mango-peaches they had earlier.

“Sometimes she’d come in wearing my lipstick or another time she broke my fans in front of me,” she continued and the way she’s releasing all of this is reminiscent to his own vents.

Suki needs this. All of these horrible things are bottled up in her head for far too long.

“I’ll get you more materials,” he promises.

As a prince he easily spoiled Mai and Ty Lee with expensive desserts. Zuko can’t offer much in his current economic status and he has a feeling all Kyoshi Warrior gear were personally made. 

“Thank you, I’ll hold you to it.”

“It’s the least I can do,” he shrugs and cringes, “I did burn down your village.”

“It’s fine, no one got seriously hurt.” A bitter expression pinches her face into a harsh frown, “Azula tried to convince me otherwise. She said that she sent an army to my island and the other warriors were executed. Hakoda later told me the truth. He had visited my people and saw my girls all in another prison, but before that I was so wrecked.”

Zuko reaches up to brush her tears away. A few dropped onto his face.

“Azula always lies.”

“Yeah,” Suki manages to squeak, her body shivering from the old terrors.

He gets up and fixes the nest a bit so they can lie on their sides, his nose barely brushing against hers. Suki probably needs this nest as much as he does.

They don’t talk for a while, just resting and occasionally pressing their foreheads together. Lilies and lemongrass has never smelled so sweet and gentle.

Zuko barely registers Suki speaking again. Her tone small and frustrated, “There was one thing she talked about that I just never knew if it was true or not.”

“What was it?”

“You. She’d talk about you.”

He blinks, struggling to see the angles but can’t.

“That makes no sense.”

“I thought so too but she kept rambling about you.”

Zuko could only assumed Azula told her about how he is weak and useless. Everything between them felt competitive and lopsided and just plain tense.

Suki concludes accurately, “You two really weren’t that close.”

“Maybe when we were younger, like really, really young.”

“What, did baby Azula not immediately explode with blue fire?”

“No but she did light Lu Ten’s eyebrows on fire when she was three.”

“Hah!”

He hasn’t ever heard Suki laugh so freely, not even with Sokka.

Maybe it’s the heat or how they’re both omegas but Zuko feels oddly kindred with Suki. Like the others, she had every reason to distrust him and yet here they are. She remembered him as the Fire Nation soldier who burned her village but her opinion of him changed ever since Azula fought them.

It is not surprising that they are bonding through their mutual trauma caused by Azula. 

“Why would she talk about me?”

“I think she was trying to understand omegas. It’s not that you’re different. Maybe she just never learned about it from you.”

Azula had told him just as much, how their mom only shared her nest with Zuko. Maybe subconsciously, Zuko copied his mother and never let Azula understand his nature.

“I’m still not that great at being an omega.”

“It’s not something to be good or bad at. What matters is how you want to act as an omega or any other identity.”

Caught up in the familiarly of the advice, Zuko smiles, “Uncle asked me something like that, figure out who I am and what I want.”

“Well, have you found your answer?”

Throughout Zuko’s life, he was always chasing after something. A father’s love, recognition of honor, the Avatar, and also a destiny Zuko willingly follows.

It leads him to meet these people, to learn their pains and hopes, and in return Zuko burns with something other than a painful ache.

Heats make omegas burn with the idea of safeness and trust. It’s a peace that lulls the body and the mind into something Zuko is beginning to be aware of.

“I think I’m starting to, yeah.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember when I said the narrative demanded more Suki? Yeah it was about this chapter. I just think Suki is cool and there's a bunch of other fics that write so much complexity to her character from the few episodes we got of her. 
> 
> Also as vague as heats are in this fic, I essential use the heats and ruts trope as a tool to write characters to be more emotionally vulnerable about the people they trust, if that makes sense. 
> 
> Next chapter is when Zuko asks Aang the big question, I guarantee it will be a quite the talk. 
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	14. Era of Birth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i think this one is my favorite chapter

In the quietness of the house, it’s like Zuko could ignore the world. It’s one of Ember Island’s gifts, the bliss of vacation.

It’s the perfect place to spend a heat.

It is not the perfect place to stress about the end of the world.

Both of those thoughts are coexisting inside Zuko’s head.

Omegas instinctively nest as a sign of safety and comfort for their selves and others. Usually they spend their heats scenting pack members or getting much needed rest due to exhaustion. Zuko was the latter part for his previous heat.

This heat though, yeah he scents his friends and that’s nice but he still desperately wants to get out of his nest to train Aang. Katara of course objects so Zuko has to think of alternatives to ease the alpha’s worries and make sure he doesn’t overheat.

“Fire comes from the breath but do you know how that feels?”

“Um, hot?” Aang corrects himself under Zuko’s glare. “It feels rhythmic and tight. Like when I airbend using my breath, it’s inside of me and needs to be breathed out.”

“Good,” Zuko says, “Fire always needs to released, otherwise you’ll overheat or risk burning or choking.”

The firebender breaths in and out, each motion reflected in the candles circling the sitting teacher and student.

“Choking,” Aang clarifies, “like with smoke right?”

“It’s heavier than air so you have to be careful with it,” he explained. “For beginners, it’s more common to produce smoke rather than actual fire. That’s why Uncle taught me these breathing exercises, to lower the risk of inhaling smoke.”

Aang copies the exercise and the candle light smoothly flares up and down.

Sometimes Zuko can’t help but be impressed and proud of Aang. His control and strength is in every breath and how his stances change for each element is so fluid. No one but the Avatar could understand how it feels to dance along the water and land or hum the wind and fire.

Above all, Aang is peaceful.

That is a problem.

Aang continues with his eyes closed, his body disciplined to stasis, and Zuko could ruin the moment and ask Aang the burning questions.

_Are we prepared for Sozin’s Comet?_

_How do we stop the airship fleet?_

_What are_ you _gonna do when you face my father?_

It’s quiet outside of Zuko’s head, a true contrast. The afternoon is calm, the wooden patio deck they’re on is warmed by the sun but shaded by the palm trees, and the ocean waves are so mesmerizingly beautify.

Ember Island has never felt so tranquil.

It shoves its paradise to Zuko’s scar.

“Is something wrong Zuko?”

Aang still has his eyes closed. The candles on Zuko’s side of the circle are flickering madly, dancing lights in uneven pattern.

“The Comet,” Zuko answers with slight impatience. It’s mostly directed at himself and his impulsive timing, “Aang, it’s only a matter of days.”

“You’re in heat,” he excused as if that’s some sort of priority. Aang opens his eyes, his expression too calm for Zuko’s liking. “I don’t want you get a fever for overthinking this.”

“What’s there to overthink?” He snaps back, “Aang, how do you think this will end?”

Zuko dares call it bravery at how Aang doesn’t break eye contact as he collects his thoughts.

Finally, the Avatar says, “I don’t know.”

“You must have an idea of what you’re going to do.”

“I don’t.”

“Oh so you _didn’t_ have a plan to confront the Fire Lord the day of the eclipse. It was just a lovely day for an invasion.”

“…What are you trying to say, Zuko?”

“Aang, what are you gonna do when you face my father?”

And there it is, the devastated and hurt and conflicted face of a twelve year old.

Worse of all, Aang looks betrayed.

Zuko sighs, bending the candles to dim out. “I’m asking you this for a reason. We’ve all been training you to master all four elements and not just because you’re the Avatar.”

Everything Zuko has done was with the intention of training Aang to face his father. He knows what that man is capable of and Zuko is doing his best to prepare him but ultimately Aang decides how it will end.

That is, if Aang has a chance.

“Aang,” he continues, filling up the uneased tension between them, “I’m not sorry but I’m telling you this because-“

“Stop,” Aang demands, his voice steady but his body is tense and defensive, “just, please stop.”

Zuko does stop. The silence is likely doing a worse job at reassuring the boy. In a deep inhale, Zuko wills fire to relight the candle wicks, on the exhale he attempts to let his scent fill the warm air.

Aang visibly relaxes but his eyes are still far away, drained even. In a guided practice, Aang fixes his posture and follows the breathing exercise.

It feels both surreal and fated that Zuko has to ask someone to take down his father. Zuko grew up devoting to this man who had uncontested power. Honor was a given right of hardship, not something found or taught. Zuko was so foolish to ever believe that.

He knows better now, has finally accepted honor comes from within and not from gilded words of worship.

Destiny demands for the confrontation between Aang and Ozai.

Yet Zuko can’t imagine the downfall of the Fire Lord.

Not with how pacifistic Aang is.

Zuko doesn’t regret asking Aang the big questions but it’s painful to watch how horrified and scared Aang truly is at the challenge ahead.

“I thought I told you both no training,” Katara’s lecturing voice is actually a blessing to this silence.

“Technically this is meditation.”

“Zuko,” she warns and that usually forewarns more nagging.

The two quickly blow out the candle fire for a much needed break from each other. Aang practically runs with wind, scaring off the lingering smoke of the wicks. Zuko tries not to convey his melancholy as he gathers the candles.

A hand grabs the last one before he could.

Katara inspects the thin disappearing smoke with a frown, “What did you do?”

That’s a question Zuko once believed would be posed as a threat laced with protective rage. He kind of expects Katara to still hold a grudge on him, after all a pack bond doesn’t solve problems immediately. Instead the alpha before him appears more as disappointed and concerned.

“I told him what he needed to hear,” he stressed, “Sozin’s Comet is coming and my father needs to be stopped.”

Katara meets his gaze, standing more determined, “Aang can save the world. I believe that.”

“But does he believe that?”

“Well you _not_ believing in him won’t help,” she says bitterly, that old spite rising up.

“I want to Katara,” he honestly admits, “but how can I when he doesn’t know how to end this.”

That apparently is not the best words to say because Katara shoves the candle at him, nearly toppling the others cradled in his arms.

She frowns, “You said that we should’ve listened to Aang instead of going on a revenge hunt, that he was right about violence not being the answer.”

“I know,” Zuko sighs.

He walks over to return the candles into a storage box he left nearby. As he carries the stuff back inside, Katara is following after, still not finished.

“So you already know what Aang will not do.” Katara blocks his path to see his face when she asks, “Are you really asking Aang to kill your father?”

“I’m not,” and that sounds weak even to him. Zuko takes a breath and sets the box on a table so he can rub his face, “I need Aang to understand that my father believes he has already won.”

Katara gently takes his hands away from shielding his face, “Because of Ba Sing Se, right?”

“I told him that Aang was alive,” Zuko bites his lip, “I should’ve kept my mouth shut but apparently I’m really bad at that. I wanted to stand up for myself and walk away for good but it’s not over. Katara, he would be more determined than ever to make the whole world know he is the victor.”

He’s nearly out of breath but his worries aren’t.

The juxtaposition of his scenario is that an omega goes into heat when they feel safe but Zuko knows that as long as his father and sister continue this war, no one is safe.

Slowly, Katara guided his head to rest against her shoulder.

“I can’t protect Aang,” he tells her, “I can’t keep him safe.”

“He’ll be fine. It’s Aang,” Katara assures him like it’s a promise.

Zuko nods because he can’t will it out verbally. His heat is reaching its next wave and he’s already mentally exhausted with storming thoughts.

The next few moments are a bit hazy to him. Katara chided him back to his nest, complaining about him overheating which he protests against. Zuko knows he’s always burning not just because he’s a bender but of identity.

Sun lilies and dragon fire, a scent both gentle and intense, or at least that’s what the others have been saying when he scents them.

Scenting only became a habit of his after he pack bonded with Aang, where he finally felt like he understood his destiny and what his honor is.

The more Zuko is in his heat, the more he learns how his omega-ness emphasizes he’s a bit touch starved. Okay so a lot touch starved. Which means that Zuko agrees to Sokka’s and Katara’s aggressive alpha cuddling, then later Toph just using him as a foot rest as she plays with her meteor bracelet, and also Suki playing with his hair.

It’s nice but one thing is missing.

Aang hasn’t visited the omega’s nest for the rest of the day.

It feels absolutely weird to seek someone who is scentless. Yet some part of his omega nature has already registered Aang’s presence as its own identifying pack scent thing.

Still, he doesn’t have the guts to ask for Aang, not after how Zuko treated him.

“You told the others what I said right?” He asks to his current nest partner, “About how my father wants to burn down the Earth Kingdom with the Comet?”

“They took the news well,” Suki replied, finishing a braid in his short hair. It comes undone once she lets go. “Sokka sent a messenger hawk to Kyoshi Island, that’s where his father said he’ll be at.”

“So what’s the plan?”

“Aang is the plan.”

“That goes without saying.”

Suki plucked a hair strand just to annoy him. “They replied back. Chit Sang is trying to contact some guards to leak any news. Other than that, Hakoda wants to find Bato and message the North Pole.”

He exhales tiredly, “That’s at least something.”

“You gotta be more hopeful,” she urged.

“I’m trying,” he most certainly does not whine. “I want to be hopeful but it’s not easy for me. I just can’t and…”

Immediately, the omegas’ foreheads are pressed together. Their noses brush up too and he feels Suki’s even heartbeat with the rainy scent of lemongrass.

“…you can’t always expect that to shut me up.”

“Then I’ll have to think of new tactics now don’t I?”

He huffs quietly, letting Suki have this victory. The results are just a pleasant silence with the warming air. Zuko doesn’t want to call it peaceful until the burning inside him stops dangerously becoming painful.

Thankfully it’s not a sign of heat fever. It’s just a reflection of his inner turmoil of stressing out about the war and his pack’s safety.

So yeah, typical omega angst.

If there was something that will ease the burn, he’ll take it. Zuko even tried recreating Uncle’s favorite teas. It works but that just sends Zuko reeling into worrying where Iroh is and if he would ever forgive Zuko for everything.

Just typical Zuko angst.

Then faintly Zuko scents something familiar.

Lavenders, lotuses, and leaves from vines.

Blame it on the heat or the innate need to be dramatic, Zuko flings himself out of the nest and bolts through the house, chasing after that nostalgic scents.

It takes Zuko to the old storage rooms of the villa.

Originally there’s no point in rummaging through it. It’s just where extra furniture or cleaning supplies end up next old decorations. Yet the door is left wide open for Zuko to run through.

A heavy coating of dust is over sheeted chairs and tables, a few crates for kitchen supplies, and even extra bed frames too. In the far corner is Sokka and Toph knelt over a wooden ornate chest.

Zuko doesn’t know that look is on his face but it’s enough to scare them. Or for Toph’s case, freak out about Zuko’s frantic heartbeat.

“It was Sokka’s idea!”

“You unlocked it!”

“Snoozles, if you’re a real alpha you would go down with me.”

Zuko ignore them and nearly dives into the open chest if Suki wasn’t suddenly holding his arm. Still though, the omega collapses over the faint scents contained inside.

Saved inside are an assortment of objects such as books, writing quills and ink bottles, a used painting pallet, and some cloth too.

His shaking hand carefully scoops out the orange cloth, a shawl with Agni’s sunlight etched upon it. It’s wrapped around something hand sized but most importantly it scents of lavenders.

As for the scent of white lotuses, well, it is rather fitting that is on a miniature pai sho game set. Uncle loved teaching this to him. Zuko enjoyed listening to the clicks of the tiles being set and sliding across the board more than actually learning the strategies.

The last scent that held Zuko’s rapt attention lingered on a wooden training sword. It’s one of the smaller versions, designed to fit in a child’s hands. Lu Ten used to teach Zuko how to make accurate swings and jabs against their unlucky training dummy.

Zuko’s only context to vine leaves is that it was Lu Ten’s scent. He told Zuko that he’ll find roots for it to be planted in the royal garden. A wooden archway had hundreds of vines growing on it by the time they received the news of Lu Ten’s death.

He nearly had forgotten his cousin’s scent. When Zuko returned home he checked on the garden. The vines and the leaves were cleared off the archway, replaced with sweetbriar and other flowers.

“So,” someone begins cheerfully, “does anyone want to tell the blind girl what’s in the box? Smells like old stuff.”

“Yeah, old stuff of my family,” Zuko confirms with a faint voice.

A gentle hold is on his elbow and only now does Zuko notice Sokka kneeling with him, “You okay, buddy?”

He doesn’t answer. His entire focus on unbounding his mother’s shawl to see what it has been protecting. A soft leathery pocket notebook is revealed, it fits in his hands. Petal designs are etched into the cover.

Carefully, Zuko opens to the first page and in a light scrawl is his mother’s handwriting. He flips through more pages, some with stetches of beach shells or even lullabies she used to sing.

“My mom wrote about our summers,” Zuko awes.

“That’s really sweet,” Suki said and he tilts his head so that she can read over his shoulder.

Sokka nods and says softly, “She must really love you.”

“Yeah,” he tries to say steadily but it’s wobbly. The same could be said about his vision as heated tears well up.

“Is there stuff I can touch?” Toph asked, maybe a little impatient or wants to lessen the emotional tension Zuko is going through.

He really appreciates Toph’s no tolerance to mushy feelings.

“Yeah, here,” Zuko gladly reaches into the chest and gives a thing to her, “it’s an ocarina-conch shell, just blow into it while covering the holes and-“

Immediately, Toph feels around it and blows a hefty breath of air into it. A loud high pitch note rings throughout the house. In the distance, they all hear Momo screeching.

As the earthbender continues playing the musical scales, their last two friends have arrived.

“What’s going on here?” Katara yells over the tail end of Toph’s playing.

“Sparky’s getting sentimental and gooey.” She returns her attention to the shell, playing at a normal volume now.

“I am not gooey.”

“I don’t know,” Sokka drawled out teasingly. “Omegas could melt during their heat. If you feel like you’re falling I can always catch you.”

“You can’t even catch yourself when we spar.”

“That was only one time!” Sokka practically grinds his teeth when Zuko rolls his eyes. The alpha grabs training sword from the chest and pokes its blunted end at Zuko’s arm, “I bet this thing made you fall plenty of times.”

“Yes because I was only seven,” Zuko swiftly grabs the sword hilt and aims the tip under Sokka’s chin, “but I was still more trained than you even then.”

“Is that a challenge?” He grins in that dumb way that makes Zuko want to swipe off of him. Zuko would agree with a taunt but instantly Sokka’s ear is pulled harshly, “Ow, Katara!”

“No training while Zuko’s in heat,” Katara repeats. Her pointed frown directed on Zuko sheepishly scratching his cheek.

“So this stuff belonged to your family?” Aang is now over Zuko’s shoulder because Suki is having her turn on the ocarina playing the melody of the cave of two lovers.

He nods, “I think these books were my mom’s summer readings.” Zuko carefully closes the notebook and puts it aside to dig through the storage chest. “Huh, old painting supplies too I guess and…”

It’s tucked between a bundle of brushes tied together and another book. Two scrolls are nearly identical with a dragon head icon on its rod ends. To an untrained eye, it’s hard to see the foreheads of the dragons have markings that read _Act I_ and _Act II_.

Like how Zuko rushed into the room, that same flurry is used to grab the scrolls, hurriedly unrolling the first one.

“Is Zuko having a heart attack?” Asks the one person who can sense his heartbeat, unaware of how his eyes are glimmering.

“Toph, I think he’s smiling?” Katara appears to be questioning if this reality is true, “All for a scroll about, uh, dragons?”

“You were just as giddy for the waterbending scroll,” her brother said judgingly.

“They’re play scrolls,” Zuko clarifies with an unusual gusto, not that he’s paying attention to how his radiant joy is freaking out his friends, “Spirits, I thought Azula burned this.”

Sokka bumps their shoulders together and reads aloud, _“Love Amongst the Dragons.”_

“It’s about the Dragon Emperor getting cursed to a human body by the Dark Water Spirit,” Zuko summarizes with a tenderness saved for these rare moments. “He struggles constantly throughout his life but falls in love with a mortal. Their love breaks the curse and they both live on as dragons.”

“Kind of sounds like you, Zuko,” Sokka said.

A weird twist of wanting to immediately deny that and agree with Sokka has Zuko stop smiling.

Because of the story Zuko donned the mask of the water spirit, the Blue Spirit. In his interpretation, the spirit represented not darkness or malice but neutral chaos that forces others into difficult challenges. The opposing character can learn and break free like the Dragon Emperor or suffer under sins and never adapt like Zhao. 

But Zuko as the Dragon Emperor, the highest form of honor but blighted from isolation until he fell to earth and learned to move without wings.

Zuko never made that parallel when he got banished from the palace. Decorated on a wall of Mom’s side of the palace was an array of theater masks. Zuko took the Blue Spirit, not daring to look at the mask of the Dragon Emperor.

Now though, after traveling through the Earth Kingdom and meeting its children, after receiving blessing and guidance from dragons, after pack bonding with these five other kids, Zuko wonders if the dragon mask would feel right on him.

“Hey I think I know this one,” Aang chirped, “Kuzon said that it’s a bedtime story.”

Katara laughs, “Oh like you know about that redemption ball game?”

“A lot of old games evolved in time,” Aang explained in a lecturing tone but his playful smile is ruining the professor act.

It continues on like this, just inspecting all the things either his mom or uncle stored away. Zuko nearly hits Sokka for reading _Act II_ before Zuko was done explaining the first act. To no one’s surprise, Aang is the best on the ocarina-conch. He’s using airbending to play notes really, really long to the point where Suki and Katara have to tackle him to stop. Toph ends up sitting his Zuko’s lap, listening to him read monologs of the Dragon Emperor.

It’s so nice. This low burning that doesn’t hurt but instead amplifies the steady feeling that this is safe.

Zuko wishes for this feeling to last.

Eventually Zuko gathers his family’s keepsakes to his nest and told the others he wants to read his mom’s book alone.

Only one person goes against Zuko’s wish.

Before the Avatar enters the room, Zuko had a good hour of reading through the entire notebook.

It’s a small thing, mostly just jolted thoughts about him and Azula. There is a lot of details that weren’t apart of Zuko’s memories, like Azula hiding a cut on her leg from getting pinched by a spider-crab. Another page highlights a dinner where Zuko refused to eat okra. Few other stories involve Uncle and Lu Ten, how they loved to build sandcastles with Zuko or try to teach Azula how to swim.

Zuko is rereading the song lyrics to _Four Seasons_ when Aang is in the doorway.

“My mother is one of the best people in my life,” Zuko begins. “She loves the arts, taught me and Azula songs and stories that weren’t in the library. Other than you, she is the first person to see past my mistakes and failures.”

A small smile is on Aang’s face and this time, Zuko has the guts to ruin the moment.

“She loves me so much and I have no idea where she is.”

Aang had moved to sit by Zuko’s side. The nest faintly smells like the rest of the pack, a comfort that would usually work but not right now.

“Is she missing?”

“Banished,” he explains, “Father had argued with the previous Fire Lord, my grandfather. Somehow they agreed my death would be beneficial. My mother intervened. In one night, my grandfather died in his sleep, my mother vanished without a trace, and I lived to see my father be crowned as the new Fire Lord.”

There’s no verbal response but Aang’s a smart kid, his eyes have widened in confused fear. He doesn’t want to assume the worst in anyone.

Zuko pushes pass the shame and continues bluntly, “You’re going against a man who thrives on war and others’ sufferings. He has advanced military inventions, one of the deadliest bending techniques mastered, and he is not above hurting a child.”

Aang is frozen for a solid minute before breaking the air with a meek voice, “How old were you when you got your scar?”

“I was thirteen.” He tries to say it without anger or pain so it comes out harsh regardless.

“Zuko…”

“Aang I’m telling you this because you need to know exactly who my father is.”

“I do know!”

Zuko hasn’t seen Aang snap like this before and guilt builds up knowing that Zuko provoked this.

The Avatar stands back up, needing space to express his discontentment and angry through pacing and wide and wild hand gestures.

“I saw so many burned down lands, hurt soldiers, refugees losing hope, and other kids growing up in this war! They grew up angry and mean and violent against people and animals.” He slows down, stops his pacing and curls his hands into fists, “I don’t want to be like that.”

“Aang, I know you weren’t born during the war but you’re here now.”

The air nomad glares at him, “You’re asking me to go against everything the monks taught me. I will not take another person’s life. You can’t convince me.”

“This isn’t about changing your mind, Aang.” Zuko is hurt by the boy’s disbelief but presses on, “I can’t let my father hurt another kid. Just look at me and Azula.”

Aang doesn’t meet Zuko’s gaze, “Yes, you’re right about how terrible he is. I need to stop him and this war but,” he squeezes his eyes shut, “I don’t know how!”

“Forgiveness won’t work. Mercy won’t work,” Zuko listed. “Aang, you need to come up with an answer.”

“I won’t kill him.”

“I know that.”

“So why does it still sound like you’re suggesting it?” He looks back up, not glaring but it’s still intense, “I don’t know how this will end but I want it to be my choice.” That intensity is not only on Zuko but also on Aang because tears start leaking, “I never wanted to be the Avatar.”

“Aang,” Zuko says and instinctively, he reaches over to pull the boy back into the nest, “I’m sorry.”

“I have to end this war,” Aang muffled against Zuko’s shoulder and there are more tears. His voice is nearly broken, “I’m the Avatar! The Comet is almost here! I have to stop the Fire Lord!” A harsh shudder heaves through Aang’s lungs, “I don’t know what to do!”

“You’ll figure it out,” Zuko assures, hugging him tighter, “I know you will. Aang, we all believe you can save the world.”

The last airbender holds on to Zuko, sobbing and burning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally, Aang was gonna runaway from Zuko but as you can all see, that's a stupid ending so I wrote Aang crying in Zuko's arms because that's what they both need. I rewrote the last scene many times to make this feel right for the both of them. 
> 
> My favorite line is "They grew up angry and mean and violent against people and animals" because this is essentially Aang's reaction to the war. He grew up with an entirely different lifestyle than the rest of the gaang. This perspective only highlights in the finale when he's arguing with his friends and they don't agree with him and later he's reconciling it alone with ghosts. He's feels so alone on this matter and I didn't like how isolated Aang's story arc was in the finale. 
> 
> Yes he'll eventually figure out an answer to his problems but before that he felt like he never had any freewill. He never wanted to be the Avatar and dang, this just hurts. 
> 
> I went over a lot of things in this chapter, it was heavy and had that brief moment of fluff and I'm pretty satisfied with it. 
> 
> Now with this arc over, it's obvious what is next...
> 
> Next chapter, I recklessly titled it: Telling the Story of Tonight!
> 
> Look, I was in a big Hamilton mood.
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	15. Telling the Story of Tonight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here's my attempt of writing zuko as a theater critic

Aang hasn’t talked to Zuko.

Half of the reason is because he has fire in his mouth but still.

Neither one of them can think of a solution to Aang’s moral dilemma.

So they haven’t been talking.

When Zuko’s heat finally dims out, they start training again with that awkward budding fear combined with vigor and stress. The Avatar’s firebending has improved tremendously, likely due to the impending fight ahead and Aang’s natural skill as a bender.

Katara absolutely notices them being weird, gave Zuko a sharp look before talking to Aang in private, about what exactly he doesn’t know. Aang looks less stressed at least.

Again guilt wells up inside of Zuko but he endures it. An omega’s instinct is about comforting others to feel safe and yet the rightfully paranoid part of Zuko’s brain needs to prepare Aang for the day of the Comet.

It’s arriving soon.

The best thing Zuko can do for Aang is to train him. He’s planning on teaching the Avatar how to redirect lightning especially the part about the control on aiming.

Oh and not die by getting electrocuted from the inside out.

That’s the key learning objective.

So yeah, if they all use their time correctly they should be physically and mentally ready for the worse things to come.

Sokka then shows off a theater poster and demands they go attend a play about their lives.

Zuko knows this play is gonna be terrible.

Why does he know this?

It’s the Ember Island Players.

They misinterpret vital scenes of _Love Amongst the Dragons_ through their music and lighting to convey overly romantic mood when clearly it was an identity crisis happening to the Dragon Emperor. That is only one example of this company’s errors.

There are so many variables of ruining a play: actors’ expressional and vocal ranges, pacing and tone of the orchestra, choreography combined with set design, and so many other details Zuko can spot with his one good eye.

He may not know his friends’ adventure precisely, he’s aware of the important bits where they encountered each other, but Zuko is quite certain they weren’t so pathetically overdramatic against each other’s personality traits.

Aang instantly despises the fact that his actor is a woman. Zuko will have to later tell him the lady was probably casted for the flight rigging, likely being the lightest performer with experience in these stunts. The annoying prankster attitude, yeah Aang has the right to complain about that.

For Katara, that woman must have been a lead in melodramas. Her vocal projection is good. Her ‘tear bending’ is awful though. Maybe she’s being mindful of the makeup that’s caked on her face but still. At least shed a real tear to oversell the drama.

It is entirely the writer to blame for categorizing Sokka as a comedic relief of dumb meat jokes. The tonal dissonance is just a ridiculous mood setter to have as an introduction. This is likely foreshadowing that the entire play is going to be plain horrible for them.

Then again any Fire Nation play doubles as propaganda. They intentionally want to audience to see other nations in a hope-starved and food starved lifestyle.

That doesn’t exactly explain how they treat Zuko’s characterization.

The scarred prince on stage roars with angry in every line. He’s demeaning to his uncle and his crew. The ponytail is giving Zuko flashbacks to when the doctor had to shave his head to treat the raw skin.

Zuko knows he’s an angry person, dramatic many would say, but seeing it like this felt like maybe he’ll just revert back into that old burning despair.

(He’s already hurting Aang worse than when he was hunting him down)

So far only Toph is having a good time and Suki’s actress hasn’t done anything to invoke the warrior’s rage.

Also, in no particular order, here is a list of things Zuko is confused over but will not ask: King Bumi in general, apparently they met Jet, Aang fighting a volcano, the cabbage merchant, and Momo earthbending.

Yeah, some answers are not meant to be found.

Finally, _Act I_ reaches the Siege of the North Pole.

Katara has another dramatic hope speech that makes everyone ‘tear bend.’

Avatar Aang is cheering in a koizilla costume while stomping on the navy. It’s a clever design Zuko has to admit.

Sokka sobs during Yue’s lament.

Zuko and Suki share a look. Sure the set design and the moon prop are pretty and the slow music is both somber with a hint of romantic longing, but having a joke in the middle the dialogue creates a bit of a dissonance that lands Yue’s exit falling a little flat.

Okay so maybe Suki was more annoyed at how Sokka flat out shushed her.

But still, Zuko is going to criticize this play into shreds. 

There appears to be absolutely no character development arcs for anyone. They’re just a haggle of comedic personalities in overly hectic scenarios.

At the intermission, they all just slump down on the stairs of a balcony, reconsidering ever coming here.

Except for Toph of course, she’s elated to see herself on stage.

“You have got to be kidding me,” a flat and exasperated voice gets everyone’s attention to the now parted curtains to their balcony. “Zuko, I thought you hated the Ember Island Players.”

Two girls stand in the entrance way, dressed in simple outfits Zuko recognizes to be for stage crew. More importantly they all recognize the newcomers.

Zuko is the only one who reacts abruptly, instantly getting up to get to them. He is oblivious to his friends tensing up at the presence of two girls who have hunted them down.

“Wow, I didn’t think you’d miss us to the point of hugging us,” Mai said after recovering from the shock of Zuko currently hugging her and Ty Lee.

“I was worried, okay!” He said in his defense, “Also I got out of heat recently.”

He nearly regrets saying that because Ty Lee’s giddiness.

“You had a heat?” She grins at him and looks to the others, still quiet and processing this all. “Your scent changed! You made a pack! You _initiated_ a hug!”

Now the tables have turned because when Zuko tried backing away, Ty Lee clung to him in a crushing embrace. 

“So we’re not fighting, that’s a relief,” Sokka said and nearly everyone in the gang relaxed.

Suki has a tight smile, “I would still love a rematch.”

“Sure sounds fun,” Mai nods, her own smile small but sends Zuko into paranoia.

Ty Lee finally releases Zuko and bounces in place, “Oh hey, it was you who cut Azula with a fan! She was really mad.”

Suki rightly smug as everyone else stares at her dumbfounded. Zuko didn’t know that. His morbid admiration of Suki increases. It goes unsaid but Sokka must be having the same thoughts by how his jaw is dropped.

“So you two left Azula,” Katara warily eyed them, “Since when?”

Zuko explained, “Azula said you two disappeared after the invasion but I don’t understand why.” Azula may have blamed him but Zuko still can’t ascertain a reason. “You know how dangerous that is.”

These two girls know his sister best. They know exactly what the consequences of enraging Azula.

Mai shrugs like it’s no big deal, “We decided it was time to leave, like you did.” She stabs a finger at his chest, “Also, it was so _nice_ of you to just leave us a teary letter of about destiny and how we might not see you again.” One last huff and glare, Mai is practically pouting, “I hate it when you’re dramatic.”

Ignoring that, Zuko said, “I didn’t think you two would ever leave Azula.”

For weeks Zuko has been concerned over the wellbeing of his oldest friends, if they were safe or if Azula found them. Azula would never consider mercy, especially if her closest friends abandoned her. So many people have chosen to leave her.

“She told us about the war meeting,” Ty Lee explained, playing with the end of her braid, “We didn’t spend as much time as you did in Ba Sing Se but we still saw the people.”

“That and you weren’t able to feel safe,” Mai said, giving him a serious look. “If an omega can’t nest then something isn’t wrong with them, something is wrong with the home.”

“Huh,” Zuko dumbly says.

For the longest time he knew that he wasn’t perfect compared to flawless Azula. There were many more things he failed at, assuming he was bad at his dynamic instincts was a given.

Sure it took leaving his nation to slowly understand himself but Zuko didn’t think Mai or Ty Lee would take notice of his changes.

They do know Zuko, more than he realizes.

As if reading his thoughts, Mai sends him one of those fond and annoyed eye rolls. She turns to his friends, “See what we’ve been dealing with?”

To his endless confusion, Aang and the others chattered their affirmation, something about Zuko needing more hugs.

Finally, Aang asks an important question, “Why are you hiding out here of all places?”

“Firstly,” Ty Lee held up a finger, “Azula wouldn’t ever think about returning here. Secondly, my sister works here and agreed to hide us. Oh and she’s the Avatar.”

“…what.”

“She’s doing an excellent job!” Toph praises.

Intermission ends and they get back to their seats as Mai and Ty Lee return backstage.

The anticipation is bubbling in their smallest and strongest friend.

Toph eagerly waits through the opening number of _Cave of Two Lovers_. Somehow it doesn’t allude to any romance between Katara and Aang. There’s the Omashu fight scene introducing Azula and two actors who are not Mai and Ty Lee.

Zuko briefly wonders if Ty Lee auditioned to be herself and got rejected.

Meanwhile Toph’s actor rises from a trap door and proceeds to um… to _wow_ the theater.

…Never in Zuko’s life did he think he’d end up here, watching a play about his former enemies where one of them is screeching to the great beyond.

It goes downhill from here.

Earthbending training consists of Toph and Aang yelling at each other to ‘be the rock.’

Azula is cornered by the gang and surprise guest Zuko just happens to be in the area, searching for honor.

In the desert, apparently the writer took some creative liberties to have Appa missing due to flying away for his own spirit journey.

(Some parents tell their children their missing pet went to a farm in the spirit world and maybe one day will come back, told by little Lee as he fed the cow-pigs)

Yeah, Aang was really angry about that.

Anyway, they reach Ba Sing Se where the Earth King is literally a wooden figure puppeteered by either the leader of the Dai Li or a man in a bear costume. There’s a brainwashing plotline thrown in like the writer wanted to experiment in the horror genre.

So forgive Zuko’s genuine bafflement of Jet dying.

He knows Jet as a resilient fighter, a protector to those hurt by fire and ash while also holding no mercy to those once belonging to an enemy nation. Jet was complicated in a simple way, layered in single minded justice that doubles as vengeance.

Seeing this staged interpretation of Jet, first overly romanticized and now with a death scene as a stringed puppet, it is absolutely jarring to the memory of the omega who once asked Zuko to join the Freedom Fighters. 

Sokka’s unclear answer is not reassuring.

And then there is the crystal cavern scene with Zuko and Katara.

As a theater person, Zuko is appalled by the sheer lack of buildup.

In the earlier kidnapping scenes there was absolutely no foundation between the two to imply romance. They were either busy in a monologue about honor or a monologue about hope, _simultaneously_.

It would be impressive if not for the actual words not mirroring each other. The execution felt selfish and isolated, a far cry to the times where Zuko actually did talk to Katara, albeit to capture Aang.

Yet here in this cave scene, suddenly Katara thinks Zuko is attractive or whatever.

As a generally awkward person, Zuko scoots away from Katara and she does the same.

That’s understandable right?

When Zuko joined the group he didn’t consider if romance was a possibility. Spirits, he didn’t even think about pack bonding but here he is in one. Even now he thinks romance shouldn’t be a priority due to the arriving comet.

(He won’t think about what comes after the comet, if they all survive or not)

Trust and affection was something Zuko should have had with Mai but that flopped because he felt so out of sorts with himself in an endless burn.

Most of that burning origin is displayed in the next scene.

The scarred prince has to choose between a sister of deceptions and an uncle of wisdom. Zuko doesn’t have the heart to complain about anything. It doesn’t matter because the outcome is the same.

Zuko betrayed Uncle, turned his back on him and was far too late to understand how wrong he was. He betrayed Katara, letting Azula strike Aang down. His past mistakes pile up into a tower ready to fall on top of him.

It took so much change within Zuko to earn the gang’s trust but he knows he lost Uncle’s trust and love and more.

At second intermission, Toph tells him otherwise.

“He talks about you like you’re pack,” she says when she finishes her story. “Katara and Sokka told me about family pack bonds. They’re different from ours because family or guardians raise you and stuff.”

“Uncle was a real father to me,” Zuko said and a small weak laugh, “I’m always so oblivious to the people closest to me.”

“I get that,” Toph agreed, “Iroh said we have the same habit. We don’t let others help us and we want to do everything by ourselves.”

“Huh, I guess we’re both stubborn idiots.”

“Oh shut up,” she punches his arm, “We’ve gotten better right?”

He shrugs, “Yeah, probably.”

“There you two are,” Ty Lee greets and behind her are Mai, Suki, and Sokka. The pair probably caught them backstage because of Sokka’s love for comedy.

“So did Sokka find his double or did he find out these two don’t have actual jobs here?” Toph asked.

“Oh I found him alright,” Sokka said smugly, “said that I’m a real comedian.”

“We do too have jobs,” Ty Lee insisted, “We’re assistants to the stagehands. Like we just watch their stuff or prepare for the next scene.”

Zuko huffed, “You couldn’t, oh I don’t know, change the script?”

“Well the writer did interview us for the coup scene.”

Mai added, “Ty Lee told them about Zuko and Katara ending up in the cave.”

“Why!”

“There needed to be some romance,” the chi blocker excused.

“No, there really was no need!”

“Hey, at least we stopped the prop master from getting the scar on the wrong side.”

That stunned them silent as Zuko face palmed. 

“These people really are a disaster,” said Suki.

“I warned you all, but did you listen? No!”

“Alright, we get it Sparky.”

Ty Lee giggles at his expense, “Zuko’s always been a theater nerd.”

“Alright,” he rolls his eyes, “I deserve that, circus freak.”

She merely smiled.

Near the end of the intermission break, Katara finally brings back Aang to them.

In the time that Zuko befriended them, it’s easily seen how much they are each other’s anchor points. Toph told him how it was Katara that kept everyone sane in the desert and Zuko knows how much Katara values Aang’s optimism and hope.

Since his and Aang’s last argument, Katara has been the one to talk to Aang about the whole end of the war deadline. Whatever she said to him, Aang appears to have a clearer head. 

“Good you’re all here,” Mai said suddenly, “You should leave.”

“But people are going back to their seats,” Katara pointed out.

“Yes,” she deadpanned, “and you should all leave.”

“Mai, is something wrong?” Zuko asked, trying to decipher the uncomfortable look between his oldest friends.

“You all think this play is bad,” she continued, “so you all should have no problem with leaving.”

Ty Lee clapped her hands together with a cringed smile, “What my girlfriend is trying to say is that, um, you all might not like the ending.”

“Oh,” Zuko trailed off. He wasn’t completely sure other creative liberties the play writer has taken but now this confirms the worse. “We should go.”

“No.”

Everyone looks at Aang.

“Aang,” Zuko warns, “this play and the people don’t want you to win.”

A conflicted look passes over his face but then Aang glances to Katara before saying, “That’s not me on the stage, none of us really.” Then like the sunrise over the ocean, a joyful smile washes over Aang’s face, something Zuko hasn’t seen in a while, “It might be terrible but it’s still a funny play to watch.”

This group is an all or nothing type of loyalty because the rest agree with Aang despite the warnings. Mai and Ty Lee give them one last frown before heading backstage for the final third act.

Zuko takes his seat by Sokka, letting Aang and Katara sit next to each other.

Before, Sokka had given Zuko and Suki a brief recap of what the gang did while undercover in the Fire Nation predating the invasion.

Suffice to say, the play version shared the same chaotic energy with their adventures.

Aang’s secret dance party isn’t here but Katara’s Painted Lady revolt is.

Zuko was kind of afraid that the play would interpret Katara’s meddling as a cultural insult since she literally dressed up as another culture’s folklore. Instead there’s a brief lesson of the Painted Lady’s origins to up the amount of hope speeches for this actress.

Sokka got his sword but there was no explanation. It was just on the actor’s person during the next scene. There is beauty in simplicity because who knows what other zany plotline the writer would conjure up.

Next is Toph’s gambling schemes portrayed as a mobster turf war against the Combustion Man. Another ear piercing shriek of echolocation was the fatal blow. Toph was immensely delighted.

There is absolutely no hint or mention to events surrounding Hama of the Southern Water Tribe.

Katara had opened up about it to the group when admitting her actions of her hunting trip with Zuko. All in all, it was freighting and worrying. Zuko was in heat at the time so he just pulled them all into nest.

The gang is very happy there is no scene to remember any of that.

Finally it’s the invasion.

The actors continue to state the very platonic bond between the Avatar and the waterbender. Aang sinks in his seat while Katara buries her face in her hands. Meanwhile Sokka is overjoyed when his actor starts improvising with Sokka-approved jokes. Zuko gets annoyed at how underwhelming it is to see his actor be accepted into the group, as if there was no tension or payoff from character growth.

Eventually it all ends in the palace.

The scarred brother fights against the prodigal sister. It’s nothing like their old sparring matches, back when Zuko was still behind on his katas as Azula continually taunted him about never being good enough.

For a second the fight looks evenly matched but that is just choreography.

He told Aang that this play and people don’t want the Avatar to win.

Zuko wasn’t prepared to see the execution.

The script demands for Zuko to be consumed by fire. His final word is a cry for honor.

On paper, it must be justice. On stage, it must be poetic. In Zuko’s head, it burns.

Zuko knows he has pained the Water Tribe and the Earth Kingdom, spirits, he trespassed Air Temples too. Yet his own people cheer for his death. Zuko is the traitor prince greedy for the throne.

He feels a hand slip into his. Zuko’s breath catches as Sokka brushes his thumb over the knuckles. As the next scene continues, just passes over the fact that they killed someone off, Zuko squeezes Sokka’s hand.

The Fire Lord confronts the Avatar, announces the sacred comet of his grandfather.

Again, the fight choreography is smooth and fast, hyped by the orchestra and the cheering crowd. But the music shifts into a loud beat to welcome the wall of fire the Fire Lord pushes.

It creates an inferno, capturing the Avatar in the center and leaves the body weak and limp on the wooden stage.

The stage goes up in flames, sadly, only metaphorically.

The final lines of the play belong to the victor, rising up and up with paper fire waving around.

The crowd goes wild as the actors are summoned up for final bows before the curtain falls.

Eventually they wade through the exiting audience to an empty lobby corridor where Mai and Ty Lee are. They look just as glum as Zuko and the others.

“We never thought you guys would ever come here,” Ty Lee said in an apologetic tone.

To everyone’s surprise, Aang laughs. It’s small but with a bit of dry humor, “Maybe destiny brought us together.”

“I do think our auras are similar,” she smiles.

“Okay enough about that,” Mai bypasses the spiritualism of two happy children, “are you guys, you know, okay?”

She meant that question for all of them but Mai is looking at Zuko. He’s still holding Sokka’s hand.

“I think we’re as good as it gets,” Zuko confirms.

“Are you kidding me?” Toph complains, “Only these two got a final battle! What about the rest of us?”

Aang snickers, “It’ll be unbelievable if Toph loses.”

“Which one?” Katara laughs, “Ours or the actor?”

“Both.”

“You’re right about that Twinkle Toes!” Toph then points in Ty Lee’s direction, accidently at Mai, “Hey, I wanna meet my double for a screaming contest!”

“No,” Sokka elongates his disagreement, “that will surely kill our ears.”

“No what killed our ears were the other Snoozles’ jokes near the end.”

“Those were my jokes!”

“Exactly.”

As Sokka and Toph get too caught up in their arguing, Zuko’s hand was let go.

Zuko goes over to his childhood friends. He blames both his past heat and the horrible play for how easily he brings them into a hug, “I’m really glad to see you two.”

“Yeah,” Mai said, “We weren’t sure if we’d ever meet again.”

He pulls away to see their faces, “You could’ve just stayed with Azula. She’s a mess without the both of you.”

“She’s also a mess without you too,” Ty Lee said.

“No, that can’t be true.”

“It was subtle at first,” she admitted, “After your banishment it was like she was at the top of the world. But sometimes I’d catch her expecting to see you in the garden.”

“And when you came back home with us, Azula actually seemed happier,” Mai added, “She hadn’t stepped foot in the gardens until you were there.”

He never thought Azula to be sentimental like that, mostly because _he_ was the emotional one of the set. This just goes and shows that it is always Mai and Ty Lee who know the siblings best.

It’s a bit surreal to remember they were there from the beginning, set up to be Azula’s friends but they’d play with Zuko on the occasion. It was nice, just the four of them in the garden.

Everything has changed ever since people left, one by one.

“I’m sorry for leaving and everything else,” he apologized, thinking about the letters he gave them.

In it was a lengthier apology about how he treated them at the beach but also the little glimpses of their childhood. He really thought he’d never see them again. Once again, Zuko is surprised by how much people truly care about him.

“Zuko, I’m always gonna look after you,” Mai promises, pulling him down to press their foreheads together.

Mai has always picked up his anxiety or doubt whether he knew the source or not. Like with the whole nesting away from home thing, Mai just keenly knows him.

As for Ty Lee, Zuko had associated her as just foolishly happy with circus ability. More importantly she was Azula’s favorite. That had always made Zuko wary of Ty Lee, thinking anything they did together would give Azula more power.

But here away from Azula, Ty Lee still carries that optimism even with the hardships Zuko vaguely knew she has. It was something about finding her own independence from her identical sisters. Sibling comparisons, now that Zuko can understand.

Maybe that’s how Ty Lee knows him.

“Raise a glass to the four of us,” Ty Lee quoted and Zuko is impressed with her willpower to not sing it.

As for his own willpower, well, Zuko sings softly as he presses his forehead to Ty Lee, “Tomorrow there’ll be more of us.”

“Are we supposed to understand that?” Sokka whispered.

“Theater fans,” Mai explained with a sigh.

A part of Zuko didn’t want to say goodbye as they left the theater. It’s safer this way, Mai and Ty Lee had a refugee where Azula would never even think about.

She still thinks about them though. Zuko knows that Azula cares them in her own way. Apparently he’s on that list too.

Mai and Ty Lee have known Azula for years but they didn’t see what she has become.

It used to be the four of them.

Azula is all alone now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So at first I didn't know what to do with the Ember Island Players chapter other than to just have fun, cycle through musical songs, and have Zuko be salty. 
> 
> Then somewhere along the way, Mai and Ty Lee invited their selves here and honestly, why not just let Zuko hug them. I just wanted to give these three some appreciation but that also means adding in some stuff about Azula.
> 
> We're now entering finale territory!
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	16. Not Pain but Applause

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter title is from the song Battle Cries by The Amazing Devil. Side note, the fic title is from The Amazing Devil song Fair.

Aang vanished and Sozin’s Comet is less than three days away.

Zuko and the others try not to panic.

(Okay they do panic but by the spirits they’re going to be productive while so)

Searching the island is futile because the Avatar’s footprints lead into the ocean and nowhere else. Also instead of Aang, Suki and Katara bring back Mai and Ty Lee from the plaza.

So the seven of them board Appa and head off to the Earth Kingdom.

As an unofficial Avatar hunting expert, Zuko gets to work and asks an old connection for help. June tells them bluntly that Aang is absolutely untraceable, nonexistent to be exact.

That’s honestly terrifying.

It’s Aang, a twelve year old boy who has made friends with so many people. He’s important not because he is the Avatar but because of his kindness and joy and strength and a million other things is what the world needs.

The world needs Aang.

His pack needs Aang.

Wherever Aang is, fulfilling his destiny or whatever, they all know that Aang trusts his friends as well.

Zuko believes that.

Their next best move is to find Uncle Iroh and Zuko will swallow down his shame and fear and beg for forgiveness when they meet. During this time apart, he’s absolutely worried of confronting Iroh but that does not compare to how much Zuko misses him.

Iroh was there on Zuko’s lowest days, where he struggled to understand why he was burning and despairing and conflicting. He stuck by Zuko throughout his banishment and even his heat, a loyalty and trust that Zuko was once unaware of because he didn’t believe he deserved it.

Zuko still doesn’t think he deserves Uncle or his friends.

A part of him will always burn with guilt for causing the others’ suffering and Zuko will continue to do everything he can to earn their pack bond.

Anxiety burns up inside Zuko, thinking about what if Uncle won’t forgive him.

At the crumbled walls of Ba Sing Se, Zuko wonders if Jin is still there. Besides him, Mai and Ty Lee have a guilt stricken grimace as they make camp.

The White Lotus finds them. The old masters are most familiar with the siblings but Zuko seeks one out.

Zuko bows to Aang’s former firebending teacher, “Thank you for taking care of the 41st Division.”

The older man bows back, smiling proudly, “It was you who saved them first.”

That honestly knocks the air out of Zuko. To Jeong Jeong and others, Zuko did something good and right and was not a failure.

An unexpected rush of pure relief hits Zuko with this realization. Along with that, a bit more hope to get to Uncle. The last time he spoke with Iroh was back in the royal prison, learning about Roku and warring destinies. Zuko was so confused back then but now he knows.

Despite the many mistakes Zuko has made and in spite of the people who caused him strife, Zuko has changed for the better. He defied his tyrannical father, bonded with others who understand his faults and goodness, and Zuko burns with more than just rage.

The burning will always be in his nature, to hope and worry and be determined to seek out what he needs.

Originally, what he sought out most for was honor.

Now thought, all Zuko wants is for Uncle to forgive him.

So in mere hours, at dawn of the comet’s arrival, Zuko kneels to the man he wronged, who he foolishly betrayed, to the man who thought Zuko as a son.

Words just spill from his mouth, fueled by guilt and regret and shame and acknowledgement if the weight of his soul dips into unredeemable and-

Iroh hugs Zuko.

“I was never angry at you. I was sad because I was afraid you lost your way.”

Ever since Zuko’s first heat, where Uncle Iroh said that omegas are infernos, Zuko never thought to wonder what Iroh burns with.

It’s assumed the older omega would burn with grief or sorrow. Maybe in the earlier years that was the truth but like the changing of the seasons, people can morph into something not new but familiar.

As Iroh continues to hug Zuko, it is evident in his words and actions that he burns with pride.

He’s proud of Zuko for finding his own path, for becoming a strong omega that strives for the betterment of others and understands the world is more than anyone could ever understand.

Most importantly, they found each other again.

“I missed you so much and spirits,” Zuko rambles without regret, “even your tea and stupid jokes I couldn’t get right and _you_. I’m sorry I took you for granted and for not listening to you and-“

Iroh interrupts with that patient loving tone he always has, “There’s no need for any more apologies. You’ve grown up, My Nephew, you truly have. You’ve opened your eyes and heart and you’ve found yourself.”

“I found a pack too,” Zuko adds. His voice is a little faint, tried from all the crying with a bit of disbelief in his own words. “It was on accident at first.”

Uncle laughs, holding him tighter, “I see no mistakes in the bonds you’ve made.”

Without another word, Zuko presses his forehead to Iroh’s.

Pack bonding is always a form of a promise of trust, extended upon the intention of protection and life. Guardian bonds coincide with the familial bond, to nurture the young, a relationship Zuko knows he has with his mother and his uncle.

Iroh is Zuko’s father just as much as he is Iroh’s son.

By the time their tears are dried, the rest of the camp is waking up.

Uncle Iroh leads him out where a few fire pits are set up. Zuko sees his pack at one, groggy from stressful sleep and waiting for the cooks at another pit to finish breakfast. Yet Uncle guides Zuko to the next pit over.

“Nephew, there are some people you should meet.”

Jeong Jeong leaves his circle of soldiers and goes over to them and bows to Zuko. Immediately all eyes are on him as the older firebender rises and introduces, “Prince Zuko, this is the 41st Division.”

Before them is a troop of young soldiers. They look exactly how Zuko has always imaged them, around his age, adorning battle scars, and that scrappy refugee thinness. All of them share a wide eyed wonder and shocked expression.

He waves.

“Hello.” _Don’t say it. Don’t say it. Don’t say it._ “Zuko here.”

And he said it.

Instantly, the 41st Division scrambles over.

Zuko takes one giant step back in surprise and gets more surprised when Sokka is at his side, bracing an arm in front of him. Meanwhile Suki stands in front of Zuko, almost in a defensive stance.

Toph, going with the direct route, yells from her seat, “Hey, give him space!”

They do back off, gaining an annoyed look from Jeong Jeong, but three soldiers approach.

It’s a tall boy and two girls, one matching his pale complexion and the other girl is of darker tones of a colony born.

Zuko recognizes the guy. He really does look similar to his older brother.

The girl, the cousin Chit Sang mentioned, speaks up, “You burned for us.”

As if practiced, the division bowed in unison.

Zuko has had many people bow to him for his crown, his royal blood, and for the lie of killing the Avatar. It will always bring him shame.

Yet these rarities, of people willingly acknowledging Zuko for his sacrifices and efforts and _honor_. A nameless warmth rises within him. Maybe in the future he’ll name this burning as self-pride and humble joy.

But not today as Zuko stampers down any urge to cry and motions Suki and Sokka to stop guarding him. Ever since Aang connected the division to the deserting firebender, Zuko let himself be curious and wonder what he would ever say to this group of soldiers.

“Did you lose anyone?” Zuko dared asked after counting them. There’s only twenty or so soldiers, divisions are usually twice that size.

“Five of our own died that day,” she answers mournfully, “Then during our travels, eight left to find their own paths. We’re all that remains as the 41st Division when General Jeong Jeong found us.”

A bitter despair spikes in his gut at the confirmation of the deaths Zuko couldn’t save. It’s a reality he and the division have to live with.

Zuko steps forward to bow to them, “None of you should’ve been sent to that battle. I’m sorry I couldn’t stop that general.”

“You sort of did stop him,” the guy gave him a lopsided smile. “You see, we got word of the whole thing.”

The other girl echoes the fact, “You burned for us, Prince Zuko. When we confronted our previous general, he confirmed it and we,” she waves wildly at her division with a half crazed smile, _“we_ _rebelled!_ ”

She and the guy high five as behind them, the 41st Division cheers but it only lasts two seconds because Jeong Jeong glares at them to be quiet. It is early in the morning of a rebel campsite after all.

The cousin is also in that opinion, pinching the bridge of her nose, “That’s a very simple way of describing that day.”

“You’re Kari and Wong right?” Zuko finally brings up, “I met Chit Sang.”

“Really?” Wong gasps and his cousin is equally shocked.

Sokka causally summarizes, “Yeah, he escaped the Boiling Rock with us.”

“My brother ended up in the _Boiling Rock_ and you busted him out?”

Wong has lost all ability to speak but Kari awes, “You are so awesome.”

The two cousins are just staring at Zuko with a huge amount of admiration and honestly the prince is squirming a bit under the pressure.

That’s when the other girl playfully shoves the stunned soldiers to get Zuko’s attention.

“Hey,” she grins, “I heard you’re good with the tsungi horn.”

Slowly, Zuko fiercely frowns at his uncle wondering why Iroh would praise his musical skills of all things. Sure music night on the Wani was a decent time but only when Zuko could get away as a certain lieutenant takes the spotlight.

Zuko whips his head back to the girl before him, realizing, “You’re Jiang.”

“Yep,” she pops and despite the giddy smile there’s a softness in her eyes, “You’ve done so much for us, I uh, well I hate to ask more from you but do you know what happened to my dad?”

“Lieutenant Jee and his crew were assigned to the naval blockade.”

It was one of the first things Zuko checked on when returning to the Fire Nation. He knew that his crew participated in the Siege of the North. In official reports Jee and the others were stationed in ships that were in the very back of the fleet. It is where they all survived the least amount of damage from the Ocean Spirit.

Zuko doesn’t know how he would react if his old crew died. Here he can at least reassure Jee’s daughter.

“Oh good, that’s far away from the front lines at least,” Jiang laughs like she’s breathing air for the first time. She bows to Zuko, “Thank you for looking out for him.”

“You’ll see him again,” he tells her, “I’m sure of it.”

The morning of Sozin’s Comet has a near perfect blue sky. It will only be a matter of time before a strike of red pierces the blueness.

They plan on where they needed to go.

No one knows where the Avatar is but they all know where his destiny lies.

Sokka brought up the idea of sabotaging the air fleet. The gang easily follows his lead but there’s something else to consider.

Uncle drew Zuko’s attention to Azula and the Fire Nation.

Zuko is the firstborn of a second-born usurper, he assumed it was best that Iroh takes his birthright but the old man says otherwise.

An honorable person must become the Fire Lord to help guide the nation into a new era of birth. More importantly, someone has to confront Azula.

She’s out there, alone and in whatever is left of their father’s grace.

Throughout these two siblings’ lives, there has always been conflict with no resolution.

It’s about time for a conclusion to happen.

Zuko has always been chasing a destiny and it challenged him to be better and wiser and stronger.

He wonders if Azula believes in destiny.

There’s only one way to find out.

“Mai, Ty Lee, will you come with me?”

“Of course, we are.” Mai said, “You know it was always us keeping you and Azula from killing each other.”

“We’ll help you stop her,” Ty Lee says with a thin smile, “and once this is over, we can help Azula too.”

The two girls are confident. It’s something that Zuko desperately clings to because he knows this fight won’t be about the balance of nations or who is right for the throne or symbolism of good versus evil.

This is no longer about Zuko.

He wants this to be about Azula.

Zuko is the one who traveled the world and learned, the one who failed and crawled on a path back to familiar kindness, the one who found himself and a pack.

It’s about time Azula gets to be found.

The Avatar pack doesn’t argue against his decision. Sure they definitely are worried about him, expressed through a lot of hugging before and after gearing up.

Toph punches his arm, telling him to not die.

Sokka crushes him in a fierce hug, begging him to come back to them.

Suki holds his hand, brushing her lips against their fingers with the words of a battle hymn.

Katara pulls his head down to her shoulder, warning him to not do anything stupid.

And Zuko, a lover of scripts that taught him how to love and fight and cry, cannot utter a single word to convey how much they all mean to him. He’s scared and wordless but it’s okay.

The discontentment of unspoken feelings will motivate Zuko to survive past the Comet’s duration.

After all, Aang needs his pack.

Zuko watches his four pack members saddle up on a mount, prepared to ride off. Meanwhile his childhood friends board Appa with him taking the reins.

The Dragon of the West is in the center of the White Lotus camp. Warriors of the Water Tribe, soldiers of the Earth Kingdom, Fire Nation deserters, and the 41st Division all listen to Uncle Iroh.

“Today, destiny is our friend.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 'Hello Zuko here' will always be gold. Ever since the zuko scar chapter I remembered zuko actually meets Jeong Jeong and this was the best way for this to tie this character together through the 41st Division. 
> 
> Oh man, Iroh is the best. I don't have much of an explanation of family pack bonds other than its exactly how it sounds like, just parental/guardian stuff differs from bonds people make with those of the same age group or something. Aside from that, of course Iroh is Zuko's dad figure. 
> 
> Lastly, yep, Mai and Ty Lee's appearance caused one last canon divergence. Throughout writing this thing, I initially thought the main focus would be Zuko and the Gaang, which it is, and yet Azula keep popping in. 
> 
> Zuko compared Aang's prodigally skills to Azula, Katara's rage to Azula. I intentionally made Azula draw parallels of Ty Lee and Mai to Zuko's relationship to Suki and Sokka. Zuko always had thoughts that traced back to her because she's all alone.
> 
> I can't believe I wrote all of this, like, wow rewatching Avatar is such a great thing. Then seeing how well liked this fic is is so delightful too and thank you all for reading and giving kudos!
> 
> The final chapter is coming soon!


	17. Bleeding From the Storm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> chapter title is from Still Breathing by Green Day

Mai’s and Ty Lee’s newness to riding Appa would be funny if it wasn’t the end of the world as they know it.

Zuko is confident in his skill of flying a giant bison to fight his power-hungry sister.

It’s an odd sight to see the royal city from a bird’s eye view. The buildings are small and the streets are empty as the sky begins to welcome an inferno.

Sozin’s Comet is here and with it, all of Agni’s children are ablaze with the strength of starlight.

Zuko feels it welling up in his inner fire, begging to be breathed into existence. Every firebender in the world must be feeling this heat, this touch of godly power that will give an end to this hundred year war.

Now the question is who will win.

They find her easily. She’s in the courtyard where her namesake was cremated as their father was wrongfully crowned. The Fire Sages are around her, ready to officiate a new ruler.

Zuko is not letting the fate of the Fire Nation suffer a second coming.

In a dramatic entrance like any good play, Zuko interrupts the ceremony.

“Sorry, but you’re not going to become Fire Lord today. I am.”

It was at this moment, Zuko realizes he doesn’t have much of a plan beyond saying those words. Obviously he needs to gauge the situation on whatever Azula’s reaction is.

He bets that his sister wants to fight.

After all, her three betrayers are presented before her.

Azula rises from her knees, scowling, “You’re all here on the best day of my life.” A harsh laughter snaps out of her, a crooked and wrong shiver rolling all over her. “I should’ve known.” She slowly descends the stairs, eying them carefully, “Of course my dear brother and my best friends are here.” Her gaze goes unfocused for a second as she mutters under her breath, “As if I need more visitors.”

“Azula, we’re all here for you,” Ty Lee states with a frown as waves to him. She’s standing at Zuko’s right as Mai stays on his blind side.

“This is where it all has to end,” Mai adds, “You know that.”

The princess glares at Mai, “Do I know that? There are apparently many things I _don’t_ know.” Her hands curl into tight fists, “But I should have known the inevitable. Everyone fears me. They get scared and then they leave.” Azula lands her intense gaze on her brother as she hisses, “All for Zuzu.”

“This isn’t about me or about fear,” he explains, “Azula, destiny wants to restore balance to the world and that means the war ends with our father’s defeat.”

“You want him dead,” she accuses hotly.

“Maybe,” Zuko admits and honestly he could never say that to his pack, “but it’s not up to me. Aang is going to stop him and it won’t end with death.”

Azula is on last stair set, standing above them. She glares at them like they’re dirt but it’s not in her usual elegance. There’s a small jerk in her neck as she pierces her eyes into one target and the next. Her hands kept twitching and an uneven weight is shifting on her shoulders. Even her posture isn’t straight, matching the sheer frazzle state her hair is in.

For once in their lives, Azula does not appear perfect.

That’s when it dawns on them.

The three glances uneasily at each other, the scent of cherry wood begins to blaze around them.

“Nonsense,” the princess spats, “everything ends with death. Do you understand me Zuko? There is only one way for you to take the crown away from me.” She smiles cruelly, “It’s the destined showdown, brother. Agni Kai!”

The omega subtly sends Ty Lee a questioning look. The alpha shakes her head with a worried frown. She too has never seen Azula like this before.

This is Azula’s _first_ rut.

The purpose of a rut is to protect others from danger but that’s just it.

Azula is all alone.

The only one she has to protect is herself. She believes she is in danger and must fight, _has_ to fight, because she’s all alone and no one is there to protect her or make her feel safe.

Her two best friends and her brother are here, portrayed as her enemies.

So be it.

“You’re on.”

Zuko half expects Mai to slap his arm. Instead the other omega squeezes his wrist. Her voice has a tiny shake, “You shouldn’t take her on your own.”

Meanwhile, Ty Lee marches up the stairs. “Azula, you’re in a rut. We’re not here to hurt you.”

“You are not a threat!” She jabs a sharp nail at Ty Lee’s chest, forcing her to still be below her. “None of you can hurt me because you all mean nothing to me!”

“You miscalculate,” Mai snaps at her, “You do care about us Azula and we do too.” She follows Ty Lee’s lead and rises up the stairs, “We may fear you but we love you more.”

Azula’s face drops.

She’s frozen at the words and Zuko wonders and hopes that Azula doesn’t accuse it as a lie.

Zuko knows his little sister is scary. She’s capable of horrible things and has done so. He saw Azula smiling when she electrocuted Aang.

But they all saw the Azula on the beach, the one who let a vulnerable part of her slip underneath her perfect mask.

She believes herself as unlovable.

As proof, Azula snaps her head up high, angrily declaring, “How? You can’t love me. You all fear me. I’m the monster of your heroic story, aren’t I?” She walks down, shoving past her best friends to get in Zuko’s face, “Enough talking.”

The alpha prowls off to get in position for the fight.

Zuko takes a deep breath and says, mostly to himself, “This is what she needs. Azula is slipping. I have to fight her.”

Out of all things, this makes sense to him. The world they live in is full of conflict and violence and damage. It is the innate rules of this land where people are capable of wielding water, earth, fire, air, and blades.

Yet it’s possible to finally end this war. It has to because Aang and the others are proof there can be balance in the world.

And Zuko is a part of it.

Now he faces the terrible fate that has torn his sister from the inside out.

Speaking as an alpha, Ty Lee unhappily agrees, “This is bad Zuko. Her aura is really bad. She’s gonna be more hostile and determined and,” she casts a worried look at the princess, “Azula is hurting, a lot.”

“I know,” Zuko said, “I really am the source of her pain.”

“Would you for once stop being so dramatic,” Mai demands but she’s more anxious than mad.

With a small chuckle he shrugs, “That’s a bit impossible for me.”

The two firebenders move into position, kneeling at opposite ends of the courtyard. One faces the East and the other the West, the welcome and the farewell of Agni.

Azula tosses the ceremonial mantle off her shoulders, “I’m so sorry it has come to this, brother.”

Calling out on her lie, Zuko states, “No you’re not.”

And so it begins.

True to their great-grandfather’s rule, the Comet enhances fire to a higher degree. Thus, the world has birthed the clash of infernos. It is a fight worthy of dragons from the sheer intense temperatures and the emotions in each attack.

Poets and wordsmiths can go on about the brilliant blues and righteous reds sparking from the royals.

But all that is inside Zuko’s head is how miserable this is.

Specifically, how miserable Azula is.

After a close hit of blazing fire, she’s surprised by his newfound power. Because Azula is caught off guard, she is furious. Perhaps she even perceives Zuko as an even match.

That goes against every law in Azula’s book.

Azula dons a frightening grin as she relishes in this. With this rut, she is so eager for a fight.

She knows Zuko like the back of her hand and he’s aware of that.

Goadingly, Azula projects her voice like she’s in the center of a burning stage, “Mother must have seen this Agni Kai coming, Zuko. We were always meant to fight because we were never a real family.”

“Maybe you’re right about us fighting,” he counters, “but would you really deny that we’re family?”

“Why do you even cling to that idea?” She scowls, “After you lost your favorite family members you just had to go find more people to cherish you.” A flash of white teeth is consumed with blue fire, “You made yourself a pathetic pack of traitors!”

“Mai and Ty Lee are one of the best people in our lives, Azula.” Challengingly, Zuko shifts into another stance, “You can’t deny that.”

“The best people huh?” A dark expression takes over Azula’s tense face. “How can they be when they abandoned me?” She points to where they’re on the sidelines, “They say they love me but that is utterly wrong.” Fire wreaths in her palms as she marches over to Zuko and again there is an unfocused glaze in her eyes, “How can anyone love me when my own mother can’t? She’s gone because she loved _Zuko_ more than she feared _me!_ ”

This is her tunnel vision, Zuko thinks. The thing Azula is protecting herself from is the pattern of everyone leaving her.

In her fury, Zuko can hear her say almost like in a possessed chant, _“She’s gone. She’s gone. She is gone!”_

She launches herself up to dive down with a fire kick, splaying heated blitz everywhere. Zuko smoothly dispels it with a block, fluid in his movements to whip up flames to attack. 

This fight is far different than all of their previous ones.

There is no doubt in everyone’s mind that Azula is the prodigy child, excelling in every lesson known to a firebender.

Yet that’s just it.

In the past few weeks Zuko learned more than just firebending.

The Avatar trained to bend all four elements. By all means, that does not discourage Zuko from learning from each style.

He learns how to steady like an earthbender, parts a huge blast of fire in half.

Then as Azula approaches, propelling herself into the sky, Zuko ducks low and mimics spin kicks like an airbender, spiraling red fire to interrupt the blue wrath. 

Azula crashes to the ground.

This has never happened before.

Maybe a young bitter version of Zuko would relish in seeing his sister finally fall from her high pedestal but this current one does not. He can’t find any ounce of satisfaction in watching the clear distress and frustration radiating off Azula, still mumbling about their mother.

Out of hope, not mercy or pity, Zuko tells her, “Azula, Mom’s alive.”

She freezes, halfway up from standing and so is stuck in an odd angle. Azula looks twisted and disorientated with her long hair clinging to her sweaty face.

Underneath that blackness, his little sister snarls, “…You think that changes _anything?_ She thinks I’m a monster! I see it every day, every moment where you do something oh so precious while I’m the little monster. I don’t need her or you!”

Burning fiercely, Azula launches more fire blasts at him. He dodges and weaves around the infernos, saving his breath as she continues to mouth off her rage.

“I don’t care if she’s alive. Her ghost could haunt me and say that she loves me but I know the truth!”

It’s like she is deteriorating right before his eyes. Her fire is completely fueled by anger and paranoia.

Each kata is impatient, no rest in between the forms as Azula is demanding her body to fight and ignite more fire upon the world.

On the defensive, Zuko is more focused and watchful, reacting to each blast of fire through deflections or blocks.

It’s an excuse though. Deliberately he’s letting Azula burn herself up and expends her energy and fire to tire herself out. Yet on the other hand, Zuko really is stunned and conflicted with everything Azula is revealing.

He knew that after everything they both have been through, Azula was hurting.

She’s just so much better at hiding it or compartmentalizing her emotions but it’s all just exploding out.

In one last big declaration, Azula screams, “I am Mother’s monster and you are Father’s monster!”

A huge wave of blue fire is crashing through the courtyard and Zuko barely bends a rift for him to dive through as it passes.

The heat is nearly unbearable as the flames flicker around them, each mirroring Azula’s uneven breath. She’s tiring out but in a rut it almost doesn’t matter. As long as she perceives her reality in danger, Azula’s going to fight.

The war needs to end today and so will everything Azula has built her life upon.

Zuko is scared of what will happen to her in the end.

Her perfect mask is finally shattering, revealing all of her pressures and insecurities and much more than he could ever imagine.

As an omega and as her brother, Zuko wants to help her.

“I know that Father hates me.” Zuko approaches slowly but Azula merely strides off. They circle each other as the world is burning. “He tried to kill me three times, spirits maybe even more! Azula, Father’s the real monster. Mother never tried to kill you.”

“She never tried to love me either.”

“That’s not true. She loves you Azula, you’re her daughter. She kept a diary filled with our childhood, us playing in the sand or listening to her lullabies.”

He’s not sure if any of this is registering to her. She’s too raging in the thick of her rut, utterly paranoid and hurt and burning.

It’s no longer an Agni Kai. Azula just wants to lash out because what else is there for her to do?

Azula has never known surrender or safety or comfort.

But she knows happiness. Zuko knows she experienced happiness in their childhood with Mai and Ty Lee and even Lu Ten.

They stop circling and Azula is staring him down, her frazzled hair hiding her face.

He sees a nasty grimace pinching her expression.

“…For once in your life, Zuko, tell a lie!”

She swings her hands in smooth circles, crackling lightning in the paths. It’s slow and deliberate and terrifying because this means that Azula really wants to shoot her brother.

He prepares to move like a waterbender.

Azula watches and there’s frustrated confusion tugging her lips into a scowl. He has half a second to wonder if Ozai told her about his new technique.

Either way, Azula points at him.

Zuko redirects the lightning, aiming towards the sky.

(Meanwhile, on the rocky pillared coastline, the Avatar redirects lightning, aiming towards the sky)

Azula is utterly shocked, breathless as she realizes what Zuko could now do.

More than that, she realizes that Zuko spared her.

She looks so confused.

“Azula, you know what our lives really mean to our parents. One loves us and the other one doesn’t.”

She still hasn’t moved at all. Her chest heaving from exhaustion but Azula’s focus is entirely on him.

“We care about you Azula, me and Mai and Ty Lee.”

Her eyes dart over to their audience, then back to Zuko.

An ugly weight drops to his stomach as she angrily grins.

Azula generates lightning again at a faster pace, a disregard to self-caution, and this time her aim is not on him.

He barely hears Ty Lee gasping and Mai shouting in protest. 

Zuko lunges over and catches the bolt in mid jump. It is furious within him as he tumbles to the solid ground, flinging the lightning to the sky but the damage has already been done.

Maybe Mai or Ty Lee runs to him, stopped by Azula’s fire.

Maybe Zuko should’ve brought Katara with him, guarantee a healer.

 _Maybe_ Zuko is dying.

His body is convulsing uncontrollable and he’s frighteningly far away from his pack. Never before has Zuko ever felt so desperate for the presence of a person.

The old ache of wanting his mother is nothing compared to this heavy yearning and need for Aang, Toph, Katara, Suki, and Sokka. Zuko feels madly isolated as his heart troubles with beating. He strains to hear Azula lashing out on her new targets.

After so many attempts on his life, by his father and countless others, his sister is the one who shot the fatal blow.

(Life imitates art, specifically a horrible play)

All the while, Zuko’s world becomes one single thing.

Burning.

Zuko is always burning.

Burning is a torture, a battle hymn, a passion.

It fuels the inferno in the omega.

The aftermath of the lightning is wild inside of him, too hot and fast to comprehend.

Yet it is all familiar to Zuko’s nature.

With great pains, Zuko takes deep breaths, pain rattling in his lungs. Every twitch of his muscles aches deeply as he rolls onto his back.

Heat and warmth are radiating through him, marring the burns inside and outside of his skin. The lightning is frying up his core into overheating to painful measures. It’s hard to think let alone breathe as the internal burning and sharp aches dig into his skin.

Yet somehow Zuko’s eyes are open, watching the orange sky attacked with blue. Somewhere in the distance, Sozin’s Comet brings stark whiteness into the low light of the sun.

The colors bring the memories of dragons to Zuko’s hazy mind.

Their fire burned with a wonderful harmony. It’s evidence that fire is not singular. Fire is not destructive and so can be said for burning.

His element is life and energy.

Fire comes from the breath.

Zuko struggles to inhale air, lets it flow down his throat as heat is drawn in. The aches and burns all over his body shifts with it, pulled into this new line of chi morphing into something new.

On the exhale, Zuko feels so exhausted and could barely keep his eyes open to see rainbow fire spilling out of his mouth. Like how he taught Aang, Zuko carefully breathes. With it he feels the heat and burning inside of him soften, just a little bit.

Golds, jades, azures, and lavenders take up his hazy vision as Zuko weakly repeats the process. The burns in him lessen and the horrible pain in the center of his chest is almost tolerable.

Agonizingly, Zuko presses his fingers to the edge of what is a big burn scar in his core. His breath catches, choking on smoke at the sheer pain from touching the edge of uneven skin.

Zuko forces himself to stop coughing, needing to breathe out that colorful fire again. He blows it out, sweating and tired as it’s held in his hand, guiding it to the charring scar in his chest.

The heat of it is bliss, a painful relief as Zuko barely stays awake to even do this. He knows his body is slowly overheating and overly exhausted. Honestly has no idea on what he’s doing but from the way he’s able to breathe a little easier, it appears to be working.

It’s enough to get Zuko to attempt to sit up, achingly slow and his head is dizzy as he tries to not to cry out in the pain he’s still in. Zuko loses support in his arm and is about to collapse back to solid ground when two pairs of arms catch him.

“We got you Zuko,” Ty Lee assures, helping him sit up.

Mai steadies him by hooking his arm over her shoulders, “You better not die on us.”

“I feel very alive,” he wheezes, his body almost deadweight with the relief in seeing them.

Both girls are singed with fire and stressed exhaustion just as much as him.

Blinking profusely, Zuko searches the courtyard for Azula.

Far away, he does not register that this defeated and trembling doll is his sister. She’s pinned to a pillar, daggers wedging her sleeves to the surface and no matter how much she tugs, it’s no use. There’s a limpness in her hands, likely has the muscles blocked into stasis. Meanwhile her legs are bound with chains, forcing her to sit against the pillar as her chest heaves in futile attempts to break free.

Above all, Azula is crying. She is wailing to the sky as if wanting a divine source to end her misery.

Zuko begs, “Please, help me get to her.”

They hoist him up, his walk staggering and clumsy as the three of them reach the end of the courtyard.

There Azula is, sobbing and burning but finally no longer alone.

She still makes a weak effort to lash out but it is all a mess. When Zuko shakily retches off the daggers pinning her, Azula nearly topples over if not for Ty Lee. She carefully holds Azula to her through the continued thrashing and shivering and sobbing.

Zuko has used up all his words trying to get through to her. In the end, Azula looks more drained and shattered as finally this rut of hers stops upholding barriers.

Azula cries miserably as Ty Lee holds her and Zuko ungracefully wraps his arms around her. A shaky hot breath and trembling lips meet his bruised shoulder and Azula continues to fall apart. Mai moves over to tenderly brush Azula’s hair out of her face, shedding off another shield as Azula blinks teary eyes at them.

Her best friends and her brother stay with her through it all.

Eventually the sky loses its red and lulls into a soft orange.

The Comet is gone with the promise of returning in a hundred years.

It’s all over, Zuko dizzily realizes, succumbing to his exhaustion.

He sort of goes unconscious a few times, his awareness blinking in and out. Like one moment Zuko is sure Azula is sobbing in his arms, the next Zuko finds himself in the palace infirmary.

It looks exactly as he remembers it when he used to get his training injuries tended to. There many cots lined down either side of the vast room with the privacy curtains not in use. He’s the only patient here and it appears that someone checked on him because there are bandages wrapped around his torso. 

This is the best Zuko could register so please excuse the lack of details his throbbing brain could absorb.

He blinks slowly, idly feeling the dull ache and pain in his wounds. Zuko grazes his fingers over his chest, lightly pressing against the burn scar there. As he winces in pain, Zuko can finally confirm that he really is alive.

Wow.

That’s a surprise.

Now that he’s lying in bed, out of danger and likely in a stable condition, it’s time to be super worried over the rest of his pack.

…correction, Zuko is super worried about the rest of his pack while also stumbling out of bed.

There is absolutely no way he could just stay and rest any more while somewhere in the world, his pack may or may not have survived this conclusion.

He’s straining to get on his feet, one hand on the wall to be steady as he limps to the exit.

By the time he’s at the doorway, he has to stop because he’s panting tiredly. He feels too anxious for oblivious worries but there’s something else.

Zuko is back in the palace, the place he called home but couldn’t nest in because nothing here ever felt right with him.

That is until today.

In the hallway the leads to the infirmary’s entrance is his pack, alive and battle damaged and, most importantly, beyond _livid_ to see Zuko not resting. 

Okay that is Katara’s reaction. Aang is in tears and Sokka and Suki are immediately at Zuko’s side, holding up his weight because Zuko is about ready to collapse in relief when he sees them. Toph strides over to punch his arm.

Zuko could barely keep up with everyone’s rambling and joy as he’s too caught up in his own unending happiness of seeing them alright and smiling.

As Katara herds them back into the infirmary, complaining about Sokka straining his broken leg and needing to check on Zuko’s chest wound, Aang won’t stop clinging to Zuko’s hand.

“I found a new solution,” Aang proudly says. “I didn’t kill him.”

“I knew you could.”

“I took his bending away.”

“What,” Zuko said after a pause, “like chi blocking?”

“No, energybending, it’s gone for good.”

“Spirits, Aang, I thought I was dramatic.”

“That’s our Twinkle Toes,” Toph declares with a laugh, “always doing wild Avatar stuff.”

True, yes, it’s always otherworldly Avatar stuff but this is different because this was Aang. He was right. Violence wasn’t the answer and he stuck true to his values.

Zuko never thought he’d be proud of a century old twelve year old kid but here he is.

“As for you,” Katara lovingly forces Zuko back on a cot. Her hands glowed with healing water, “Mai filled us in.” She smiles but her eyes are angry, “Would you please stop endangering your life?”

“I’m fine.”

“Nah uh,” Sokka shushed him, gently pushing Zuko to lie back down, “Let Katara heal you and then you can say you’re fine while we _do not_ believe you.” He gives Zuko that quirky grin that troubles Zuko’s breathing. “Trust me, I already tried that.”

“You took a bolt of lightning,” Toph said. She held his other hand in a death grip, “Redirected or not, you were still barbecued.”

“What a nice thought,” Suki said casually, guiding Sokka to the next cot over. She starts setting pillows underneath his broken leg.

Meanwhile Aang finished unbinding Zuko’s bandage wrappings to give Katara access to the scar. He shares a pained grimace with Katara.

“It’s bad, isn’t it?” Toph checks in. Zuko squeezes her hand and that prompts her to sit on the edge of the cot, getting as close as possible without disturbing Katara’s work.

“Looks like we’re lightning scar buddies,” Aang jokes with sympathy.

Katara guides the healing water to the charred skin. Instantly Zuko hisses at the sensation, flares of pain wrangling under cold soothing control.

Not appreciating the Avatar’s humor, Katara frowns, “You’re lucky you were able to redirect the most of it.”

“Ha, lucky,” Zuko grumbles. “What’s another scar from family, right?”

Above him, he’s sure that his friends are sharing uneasy glances but Zuko just closes his eyes, feeling the water dripping into his chest. Most of it is numb, barely feeling the cold temperature but nonetheless it feels way better than Zuko’s attempt with the rainbow healing fire.

He’ll unpack that mystery later.

“How’s everything with your sister?” Suki asked.

“Mai and Ty Lee are with her.” He vaguely remembers that fact some time during his ins and outs of consciousness. He does know one thing for sure. “She doesn’t want to see me right now.”

“Well, we’re here,” Katara said, finishing the healing. She rewraps the bandages and much to her dismay, helps Zuko sit up because he wants to.

He wants to soak in the fact that they’re all really here with him.

It’s all over.

Zuko, surrounded by scents and warmth and trust, takes a deep breath.

“Can you all um,” he hesitates, reconsidering his thoughts but stops. He nearly lost them and they nearly lost him. There’s no more danger. “Could you line the beds together?”

A few moments later, the two beds are pushed next to the other. Sokka’s pillow support is rearranged because Toph decided she was small enough to wedge herself between Sokka and Zuko. The boys are shoulder to shoulder while Suki spoons Sokka from behind. Aang is on Zuko’s free side and Katara is cuddling, half on top of him.

In his nest are the people that make Zuko feel safe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, thank you all for reading this. I honestly didn't expect this fic to get as much attention/hits/kudos as it does now and a part of me rationalizes as people either loving Zuko or abo fics but I'm so happy that my writing is what drew people in to reach the end. 
> 
> The canon Agni Kai fight is a visual blessing but here I wanted to push Azula to the edge through Zuko still trying to reach out to her. There's a tumblr art about Zuko hugging Azula and saying something like "You're not a monster, we were just raised by one" and I love that but I wanted to write Azula still struggling to comprehend that. 
> 
> So I wrote massive emotional conflict in their dialogue, all highlighted by deconstructing the stereotypical rut trope by making Azula put up so many damn walls that have horrible foundations. Zuko easily countered everything she knows, forcing her to reach conclusions and truths she avoided. 
> 
> Then at the lightning part, I didn't want Zuko to taunt her. I wanted him to still try to reach out to her but for it to still backfire. Hence her aiming at him. Low key, it was a Hamiltion ref (like my heart counts it as so) because of the whole 'aiming to the sky' parallel. 
> 
> Yet I still wanted to hurt Zuko with canon by having Azula get mad at her friends and aim at Ty Lee. Her because I wrote Azula with a crush on Ty Lee. Hopefully that's not a surprised from the beach chapter. 
> 
> So Zuko is in critical condition and without a healer but oh look! He suddenly remembers fire can be a good thing and it can heal! Yeah, I hope that solution is satisfying because I was bit stuck in the early stages of writing before I figured it out. Cause like ever since meeting the dragons, Zuko knows fire is not destruction and that applies to himself and Azula too. 
> 
> So while he's somewhat delirious in pain and trying to heal himself, Mai and Ty Lee fight Azula off screen. As you can see, I did not write that, sorry but this author was too focused on the Zuko and Azula part. Those two are still a bit of a mess and need more work but the important part is that Azula broke down and accepted defeat and needs to cry with the people most important to her. 
> 
> Final scene, I nearly wrote Zuko staying in bed and waiting for his friends.
> 
> NAH THAT BOY WOULD GET UP STILL INJURED AND GO SEARCH FOR HIS FRIENDS. 
> 
> Anyway, I kind of prioritized Aang's bond with Zuko to pay off their conflict/argument in the other chapter because to me that fit the end the most. For the others, their sort of had their conclusion with Zuko already. Toph was on his side from the beginning, Katara let go of her anger of him, Suki understands his vulnerability, and Sokka fully trusts Zuko. 
> 
> BEFORE I FORGET WRITING TOPH IS GREAT BECAUSE SHE HAS A DISTINCT VOICE FOR COMEDIC BEATS AND GIVES EVERYONE NICKNAMES. I kept forgetting to mention this. 
> 
> So yeah, this is it. Zuko finally feels safe with the gaang. He feels as if nothing will hurt or burn as long as they are with him. 
> 
> Thanks for reading this!


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